Help - How do i not worry

[kaye]

Hi ladies

Been having a right crappy few weeks, these more than usual. My partner just keeps shouting at me to stop worrying it will happen and to stop stressing and it will happen. I just dont think it will ever happen.

How do i try to stop thinking about it all the time, and thinking negative all the time.

 

[purpleflossy]

didn't want to read and run, its hard i know how you feel, just try and stay positive
i have had a bad few weeks to, but tried to just breathe, and start again and carry on, just what you have to do

 

[scoobydrlp]

I don't have any good advice for you unfortunately. Lots of times I feel the same as you. It seems like all I can think about recently. Sorry I'm no help!

 

[Jennifer01]

I have been the same recently, and regarding the partner thing, I have just had to chalk it up to different people dealing in different ways. For example, my husband doesn't want to discuss things like names or future baby plans, "let's just get pregnant first". Which can be frustrating to me bc talking about the future keeps me feeling in the game, but for him its like we are jinxing it or something. I know he wants it as much-sometimes more maybe!-than I do, but our brains, histories, personalities, etc just don't let us "deal" in the same way. So I look on the msg boards, talk it out with a girlfriend. I always know that he doesn't mean to cause me upset or anything, just like I don't mean to upset him. This is just my opinion on my situation! Hope things will look up for you soon!

 

[NavyWife84]

Hi Ladies! I guess I am here to play a little devil's advocate. While I know it is hard and we all just want to scream, sometimes I have to step back and tell myself that I am not the only one going through this. It is really easy to get mad at our OHs and take it out on them because they are the ones that know what is going on and they are there the whole time. But, I know that my DH wants a baby just as bad as I do and he is just as disappointed as I am when AF arrives. When I do get angry with him, he often tells me that he is upset too, but he is trying to be strong for me and not show the hurt for me. My DH has always been the strong one between us, so it is hard for me to take a step back and realize that he is suffering too. Now that we are getting into the whole fertility testing thing and finding out that there is something wrong with me, it is even harder for me to go on. Therefore, it makes him have to be even stronger as I feel weaker. Men are a lot different than women. They are taught to be strong, not cry, and not show emotion. I can't imagine going through this without a good cry...I don't know how he does it!

I know that this doesn't really help, but it does help me to know that when I am suffering, my DH is too, but he is being strong for me! And no matter what happens, I know that his love for me is so strong that we will get through this!

Sorry if I have made anyone mad by this, but it truely does help me to think this way when I get frustrated with DH!

 

[Bradpittswife]

Hi kaye, I used to feel like that too and dh would always tell me not to worry- it drove me nuts! I found that we had almost put our life on hold with the whole ttc- we wouldn't book hols in advance too far just in case and we put off doing stuff to the house etc. I felt like my whole life was about waiting to conceive. So we decided to get sorted and focus on the other things we wanted to achieve before a baby arrived. I also read Bump n Grind which is a funny, lighthearted look at ttc but has some relevant points about convincing your mind that your body etc is ready. I don't know if this is what made the difference as I conceived on my first clomid cycle what I do know is that once I had something else to focus on I felt a lot better and happier in my self. The pain never goes away and I don't think you can ever truly relax and forget about it but it worked for me. Good luck and lots of big hugs to you xxx

 

[MrsCompass]

Hi Kaye - I feel the same as you I don't have any advice but just wanted to let you know you're not the only one feeling that way.

Last night, I asked my DH if we could do some projects at home to get my mind off of it. We started taping and prepping our living room right away but, I'm not sure that's helping at all ...

I just feel so helpless.

 

[kaye]

Hi kaye, I used to feel like that too and dh would always tell me not to worry- it drove me nuts! I found that we had almost put our life on hold with the whole ttc- we wouldn't book hols in advance too far just in case and we put off doing stuff to the house etc. I felt like my whole life was about waiting to conceive. So we decided to get sorted and focus on the other things we wanted to achieve before a baby arrived. I also read Bump n Grind which is a funny, lighthearted look at ttc but has some relevant points about convincing your mind that your body etc is ready. I don't know if this is what made the difference as I conceived on my first clomid cycle what I do know is that once I had something else to focus on I felt a lot better and happier in my self. The pain never goes away and I don't think you can ever truly relax and forget about it but it worked for me. Good luck and lots of big hugs to you xxx

congratulations on your BFP, heres hoping we all join you soon. Happy & healthy 9 months xx

 

[kaye]

Hi Kaye - I feel the same as you I don't have any advice but just wanted to let you know you're not the only one feeling that way.

Last night, I asked my DH if we could do some projects at home to get my mind off of it. We started taping and prepping our living room right away but, I'm not sure that's helping at all ...

I just feel so helpless.

Yeah we are just in process of buying our house, so i am busy looking at new kitchens and bathrooms, which does help for a while, then right back to square one again.

How long have you been trying?

 

[MrsCompass]

We were trying on and off for 2 years. More off than on. In May 2011, I lost my job so we weren't trying or preventing. But I continued on my metformin (which I started in April). I got a BFP in July 2011! But sadly lost it last week at 7 weeks. We were so close ...

 

[kaye]

We were trying on and off for 2 years. More off than on. In May 2011, I lost my job so we weren't trying or preventing. But I continued on my metformin (which I started in April). I got a BFP in July 2011! But sadly lost it last week at 7 weeks. We were so close ...

Aww so sorry for your loss, life really can be so cruel.
I really hope you are ok and sending big hugs xxxxx

 

[MrsCompass]

Thank you. I'm looking at the positive. Although, it's hard some days. But the positive side of things is .. it CAN happen

 

[Armywife84]

How long have you been hacking away at it?

I'm not going to lie but the longer it goes on and the more pregnancy announcements you see, the worse it gets. The more frustrated and upset you get because you just don't understand why. The hurt and pain of TTC won't go away until you get that positive pregnancy test. Then a helluva weight will be lifted off your shoulders!!

But for now, I try to take up new hobbies to keep myself busy. I coupon, go to the gym, spend time with friends who don't have children and aren't trying, go out with my husband, etc. It's when I don't have anything to do is when my mind wanders to TTC.

You'll still worry but move it to another place in your mind and let it sit there. Also remember that somedays are better than others. I even have a bad week from time to time.

 

[kaye]

How long have you been hacking away at it?

I'm not going to lie but the longer it goes on and the more pregnancy announcements you see, the worse it gets. The more frustrated and upset you get because you just don't understand why. The hurt and pain of TTC won't go away until you get that positive pregnancy test. Then a helluva weight will be lifted off your shoulders!!

But for now, I try to take up new hobbies to keep myself busy. I coupon, go to the gym, spend time with friends who don't have children and aren't trying, go out with my husband, etc. It's when I don't have anything to do is when my mind wanders to TTC.

You'll still worry but move it to another place in your mind and let it sit there. Also remember that somedays are better than others. I even have a bad week from time to time.

Hi

we been trying 2 years. Im trying to just get on with it, just having rough few months. Hopefully we will all get our BFP soon