help! how do i tell my parents im pregnant??

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by Xx-Lauren-xX, Mar 21, 2010.

  1. Xx-Lauren-xX

    Xx-Lauren-xX Ollie-Jay 20 months old

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    Hi guys, im 20 (21 next month) and pregnant with my first baby. it was planned and me and my boyfriend were trying for 3 months before we conceived. the problem is i quit my job a while ago to start college training to become a nurse. the plan was to get a part time job until the course starts in september...my babys due in november! =/ however the course also starts in june and i can select to do nights 6-9pm instead of days so my partner can look after the baby while i go to night college. my partner has a well paid secure job and this is one of the factors we considered before even trying for a baby. we have enough money to live comfortably and provide for our baby so its not a problem but i know my mum and dad wont see the comprimise and will give me the whole 'your ruining your life speech' im so scared to even sit them down and talk to them because we get along well usually and i dont want a big fall out im already scared and would really like my mum and dads support :cry: i feel like every oppertunity i get i think of an excuse to not tell them, last weekend for instance i was set to tell them but my mum was in a bad mood so i thought best not this week..its getting silly now and i cant keep putting it off. is there anyone out there who has been in my position or even any mums out there with a daughter of similar age how would you react? please help needs sorting asap! :wacko: xx
     
  2. Mrs.Mc1985

    Mrs.Mc1985 35 weeks down!

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    I first got pregnant at 18 and all my mom said was well you are grown now.
     
  3. ayh78

    ayh78 Mummy of 2!

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    It sounds like you've considered all the options before ttc and come up with a very sensible plan. Your parents should respect your decision.

    Will taking your course in the evenings take much longer than the daytime option?

    Even if your parents are initially sceptical, I'm sure they'll come round - you're giving them the very special gift of a grandchild!

    The sooner you tell them, the longer they'll have to get used to the idea. Good luck and hope everything goes well for you!:flower:
     
  4. Fiore

    Fiore Well-Known Member

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    I'm only a year your senior! My parents were shocked but v happy when they knew how happy we are too! We've been together a long time, like you I'm studying towards a medical career and oh has a good job. Do you have your own place?xx
     
  5. Dragonfly

    Dragonfly Mother of 4

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    They have to remember its your life and should be happy they will be having grandchildren. I thought my mum would be the same and I first got pregnant when I was 27 and living away from home 10 years and she would always say to me dont even get pregnant and threaten me over it. Then came the day I told her and got a different reaction, I am their only hope for grandchildren anyway so I think they realised this now. They will get used to it if they dont like it. Once they see the baby they may fall in love with it and if they dont then its their lose.
     
  6. xpinkyperkyx

    xpinkyperkyx mother of 1 and pregnant!

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    hey it seems like you've really thought things through and even if your parents don't see that right now they'll get used to it and hopefully become the support and excitement you need. i was 23 when i had my forst, my mmum was shocked but then really pleased. good luck, my advice is take partner along with you take a deep breath and say it or go out for luch that way they can only kick off a little bit and have the whole meal to think it through! most of all though HUGE congratulations to you both, take care of eachother and everyone else will have to fit in around you x
     
  7. Xx-Lauren-xX

    Xx-Lauren-xX Ollie-Jay 20 months old

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    thanks for your replies so far =) the night course doesnt take alot longer than the daytime one but because im not doing 5 day weeks it will obviously take sometime longer but all i can do is crack on with the assignments etc . my partner currently rents a spacious 2 bedroom house but im not so keen on it, or the location so we are in the process of looking for another property to rent. unfortunatly not in the position to buy into a mortgage and have our own house yet =( hopefully something to work to in the future! i think once i tell them they will hopefully calm down over time and be as excited as we are but im in no doubt they will be less than impressed when they first get told...thats the scary bit =/ x
     
  8. isolabella

    isolabella Well-Known Member

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    How old were your parents when they had you? Mine were 20 when they had my sister and 22 when they had me. They're due to celebrate their 42nd wedding anniversary this year so age really isn't important.
     
  9. elley_baby248

    elley_baby248 Mummy to Ben and Pregnant

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    I was 19 when i found out i was pregnant with my little boy. My OH and I had been together 2 years at the time and absolutely everyone was over the moon. I'm now 20 21 in 3 days and due to have my 2nd baby in Nov and everyone is happy about this one too. Don't worry they will probably react totally different to how you expect.
     
  10. petitpas

    petitpas ......

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    Lauren,
    Hard as it may sound, I say just bite the bullet and tell them. Then at least you won't have to worry about how they will react :)
    Since you say you get on well with them and you seem to have it all worked out, I can't imagine they will give you too much grief and you'll be surprised how fast they get used to the idea and get excited about their grandchild!!!
     
  11. mommydrgnfly

    mommydrgnfly Prego w/ 4th.

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    Well, here I am 26 and getting ready to have my 4th child and I am married lol.. I am deathly afraid to tell my parents or any of my family members at that. They were all bugging me about getting on birth control and having no more kids, blah blah blah.. and 8 mons after having our daughter I am pregnant again, OPPS lol.. I have yet to tell them and probably won't til last minute haha.. but at 20 sweety you should not be afraid.. if they freak out just don't take it personally.. don't make it a negative thing.. just sit them down and say " I have something big to tell you guys and I do not want you to be upset or give me a lecture. I am pregnant!" I mean you are 20 so you're an adult =).. my parents freaked out when I got pregnant with my first at 19..but they got used to it over time and are glad having grandkids now =).. you'll be ok.
     
  12. stephanie4

    stephanie4 Well-Known Member

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    HaHa that's funny mommydrgnfly, because I'm 37 going on 38 next month and was scared to tell my mother-in-law, because she always told us we have enough kids. I had two of my own, my Dh had one of his own, and we have one together and one on the way. but surprisingly she said Congrats. My husband and I been married for 8 years. I think if they don't have to help take care of the child then it should be ok. JMHO
     
  13. meow951

    meow951 Well-Known Member

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    Like the others have said i reckon just do it. They'll find out at some point haha!

    I'm 19 been with OH for 4 years, renting a house together and engaged. We both have jobs aswell. I thought my parents might think we're a bit young but i got completely the opposite. I think they're more excited than us lol.
     
  14. lakeecho

    lakeecho Well-Known Member

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    I agree that you just have to tell them.

    Be prepared for the fact that their reaction may not be positive at first and try not to get defensive or let it turn into an arguement. This is a positive and wonderful situation! Let them know how happy and excited you are and that you are looking forward to seeing them as grandparents.

    I wish you all the best, and in the end, they will come around!
     
  15. Mummy2Asher

    Mummy2Asher mummy to 2 boys!

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    my mum was furios when i had my son, i was 16 then. im now nearly 20 and settled and was so scared of telling her this time but when i did she was fine! shes been great about it. your settled, you have a plan, financially your okay, so they should be happy for you even if it takes awhile for them to come round. they will soon get excited :)
    good luck!
     
  16. jennyellen13

    jennyellen13 My angel baby Jenny Ford

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    hey im 21 and fell pregnant last year, i was at uni and living with my partner of 5years and my mum was shocked as i told her over the phone, we live quite far away from eachother. but i text her first and said can i ring you, i have something to tell you so she guessed. she was more shocked at the time but not angry. all she wanted me to do was keep with uni and not give it up. she was supportive all the way. i told her the day i found out and im glad i told her straight away. this time though, i havent told anybody apart from my partner obviously and im more scared this time around about telling her, i know she will be fine but because of all the complications last time, its gonig to be harder mentally for everybody in the family. im deciding to take a year out of uni because im due novemeber too its too far into the course to miss.

    i think you should just do it, maybe over the phone? atleast if she upsets you, you can put the phone down. but she will most likely be like my mum and be shocked but suppportive of your decision. i know my mums fear was danny leaving me with a baby, as thats what my dad did. but you know your secure and even if you do split in the future he will be a good dad and thats the main thing.

    Good Luck!!! xxxx
     
  17. trumpetbum

    trumpetbum 2 girls..boy on the way.

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    Take a deep breath, don't feel ashamed or embarassed. Tell them you're having a baby and hope they will be supportive as both you and your partner feel this is right for you at this time. Don't get mad if they are unsupportive or rude, simply tell them you'll give them some space to get used to the idea. It's your life and your choice, congrats and good luck.
     
  18. I<3paul

    I<3paul Mummy to 2 gorgeous girls

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    You might be underestimating your mum and dad. If they know you are happy and in a secure relationship they will probably be ok. I was frightened of telling my mum and dad too and i was just 21 when i got pregnant. They were fine about it, naturally worried as parents are there is no getting around that but you've obviously considered all your options. Is your course 6-9pm every night though? looking after a newborn baby all day is tiring and having to go to college after would be tough. Is there a later start date for your college course? Sometimes they start part way through the year. Also have you looked into how much you would get in tax credits if you put the baby in nursery?

    https://www.workingfamilies.org.uk/asp/calculator/

    Try that it might be helpful. I know right now you think you can do anything but a baby is hard work and it puts stress on you both even without the college. xx
     
  19. petitpas

    petitpas ......

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    Have you told them yet?
     
  20. MaristRM

    MaristRM Member

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    I think you should tell them you really need their support, and you have plenty of time to figure out what you are going to do about school and work.
     

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