Help - in a bit of a pickle

[Tesa]

Help - I have done something stupid.

My 4 year old has a problem staying in her own bed all night. She goes to bed well but always ends up in mine by morning.

So I told her ok every night you stay in our bed you get a sad sticker and everytime you get 5 sad face stickers the elves will take one of the presents off your list. But everytime you stay in your bed you get a smiley face and when you get 5 of them you get an extra present (PS she thinks she is getting 5 presents only so we had room to move here)

Well guess what, she has lost them all. And even if we promise her she can win them back by sleeping alone all night she JUST CANT SEEM TO DO IT.

So the sleeping issue is one thing and at the end of the day Im not overly fussed by it I know she will grow out of it one day. But how do I backtrack on this problem now? Why is Santa going to deliver all her presents anyway?

Any ideas???

 

[motherofboys]

A letter from santa to say he has seen that she's been trying really very hard to stay in her bed and he is so pleased with her effort he is going to bring her some presents anyway?

 

[jd83]

TBH, I would try to break that association ASAP. Maybe do as pp suggested and do a letter from Santa saying she is trying hard, etc. But I wouldn't threaten something like that when you don't intend to follow through with it. I also think its hard at that age to focus on something that's not immediate. Getting those presents is too far off to want it bad enough right now to go to her room. I'm not sure what would work better, but I'd definitely look for something that has more immediate gratification for doing what's asked.

 

[Tesa]

TBH, I would try to break that association ASAP. Maybe do as pp suggested and do a letter from Santa saying she is trying hard, etc. But I wouldn't threaten something like that when you don't intend to follow through with it. I also think its hard at that age to focus on something that's not immediate. Getting those presents is too far off to want it bad enough right now to go to her room. I'm not sure what would work better, but I'd definitely look for something that has more immediate gratification for doing what's asked.

Yes, it certainly wasnt intended to get here. I didnt think she would have such an issue with it to be honest but it seems she isnt ready for sleeping alone right now (maybe some separation anxienty thing have just started school or something) and I think we are very unintentionally making it worse! Thanks for the advice I will see what I can do...

backtrack backtrack backtrack

 

[jd83]

I think its a common thing at that age, too. My 4 yr old comes in our room a lot of nights during the night, and we wake up to him in bed (if he doesn't wake us sooner with rolling around). If he wakes me up right away, I tell him right away to go back to bed, its still night time. But if I don't notice until later in the night, I just leave it typically. I figure he's not going to do it forever. I remember doing it some when I was a child too.

 

[the why bird]

Help - I have done something stupid.

My 4 year old has a problem staying in her own bed all night. She goes to bed well but always ends up in mine by morning.

So I told her ok every night you stay in our bed you get a sad sticker and everytime you get 5 sad face stickers the elves will take one of the presents off your list. But everytime you stay in your bed you get a smiley face and when you get 5 of them you get an extra present (PS she thinks she is getting 5 presents only so we had room to move here)

Well guess what, she has lost them all. And even if we promise her she can win them back by sleeping alone all night she JUST CANT SEEM TO DO IT.

So the sleeping issue is one thing and at the end of the day Im not overly fussed by it I know she will grow out of it one day. But how do I backtrack on this problem now? Why is Santa going to deliver all her presents anyway?

Any ideas???

I'd be honest with her and tell her you made a mistake - you thought that the stickers would help her stay in her own bed but now you see that wasn't the right answer, so you're not going to do that anymore. You could tell her you wrote to the elves and they've agreed she can still have her presents because she's a good girl.

Then perhaps you can ask her for some ideas about how you can work on it together as a team. Extra cuddle time before bed? A special nightlight she can switch on herself if she gets scared? An illuminated clock to help her see how long it is to morning? And when she wakes in the night you can give her cuddles and remind her of the plan. She might prefer it if she feels you are working together and she has some input into what will help her.

 

[leoniebabey]

My 4yo still comes in my bed, i imagine he wont want to forever. What about the elves coukd bring her a special nightlight or one of those projector lights or a special teddy.

 

[smileyfaces]

Do another reward chart for something different (ie tidying up, eating all her meals etc) and bring presents back that way. Id do that as well as a letter from santa x