Help please! Any advice is more than appreciated!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by Lilbabymonkey, Sep 3, 2009.

  1. Lilbabymonkey

    Lilbabymonkey Member

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    Hi Everyone,

    A quick question. What do you think the chances are of conceiving about 5 days (roughly) before ovulation by having unprotected sex but if neither party was aroused and the whole thing was given up on? Basically I was rather drunk and so was my he. We had sex (if you can call it that) for about a minute but it really wasn't working from either side so that was that and we stopped. Neither of us had orgasms and the whole thing was a disaster. My ovulation day based by a dating scan at 9 weeks 5 days would mean I ovulated on the 28th and this happened on the 23rd. I also had sex, full sex on I think the 24th, definatley the 25th and most of the days surrounding the 28th. Also had full sex the few days before this incident. Do you think it sounds likely I would have concieved from the drunken incident? The scans are rather accurate aren't they? About a week after the conception date the sonographer gave me I remember being very sick and now looking back I have a good idea as to the reason for this. Is it likely morning sickness would have kicked in this quickly? Also, for the record I know no one can say anything for definate but would be great if people could give me advice. I keep worrying about it and my mum and best friend keep telling me I'm being irrational but I can't help it. Please help.

    Regards, Katie
     
  2. debgreasby

    debgreasby Happy Mummy!

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    I don't think you have anything to worry about :)
     
  3. dt1234565

    dt1234565 In love with a princess x

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    Its unlikely but it can happen.

    When i fell with DD i had no idea when i concieved but she was born 3 Dec and may last period finished on 28 Feb which would mean almost nine months exactly. Found out I was pg on 23 March and had regular 28 day cycles.

    I know that may not put your mind at rest but if you know when you o'd its more likely around that time, maybe work back 9 months from you EDD. Baby maybe born 2 weeks late though so you just wont know.

    Whats the problem sweetie?
     
  4. Staceiz19

    Staceiz19 Mother of 2, 1 on the way

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    well there is always a CHANCE but its unlikely if ur last day at having sex was the 25th then the sperm most likely wouldnt have been very strong as it would have already been there for 3 days plus its only a 20 % chance of getting pregnant each month . i'm sure ull be fine but in future if it does happen again un protected maybe u should get the morning after pill if u dont want a baby that is. I also think u should try not to think about it too much because if u do that can sometimes delay your period due to stress n then u may stress even more by thinking your late when its just ur mind playing tricks on you because ur worrying too much goodluck :)
     
  5. Staceiz19

    Staceiz19 Mother of 2, 1 on the way

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    haha omg i feel like a twat ha i read the question wrong
    may i ask why ur so worried about when you did conceive? x
     
  6. debgreasby

    debgreasby Happy Mummy!

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    Just to clarify what u r actually asking...

    U r pregnant now? And you started having sex with someone on 1 occasion but it never finished? You were also having other unprotected sex with someone and you think you are pregnant from having sex with them?

    In my opinion, it's possible, but incredibly unlikely that u conceived from the drunken sex episode. Scans are pretty accurate, so i wouldn't worry.


    p.s. only asking so i can help :)
     
  7. dt1234565

    dt1234565 In love with a princess x

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    I just want to add to my reply that I did have full sex and you didnt, so it is highly unlikely.

    I am pressuming and sorry if i am wrong but its 2 different sperm owners we are talking about here. I can only advise that you be honest.

    I would also advise you dont worry till after baby is here. Just relax and enjoy your pregnancy, it is a wonderful magical time and dont let anything spoil it.

    We are all here for you whenever you need us. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  8. Lilbabymonkey

    Lilbabymonkey Member

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    Thank you everyone for being really helpful. I can't express how much I appreciate it. Basically I am pregnant. Nearly in my third tri now but keep worrying about this. It is such a weird long winded story. I don't cheat and I never have but just typically the one time I have a little doubt in my mind and this happens. I am very happy to be pregnant just worried which I think is down to hormones as well. I was seeing the guy who I had the drunken episode with but finished things with him and got back with a previous partner. About a month after all this I went on a night out and got very drunk and ended up round his for a party. Was all innocent but when too much alcohol is in the mix it can be a very bad combimation. I know what people think of me and I cannot stress enough that this really is not the way I usually behave. Maybe it's guilt that adds to my worry but it's so hard. I cannot actually remember the drunken incident with this other guy and to start with he insisted that nothing happened between us. He knows that I have absolutely terrible memory loss when I drink. Don't know why, I always have but when I found out I was pregnant I spoke to him and gave him all the information and asked him again to verify what happened because I keep worrying. He then changed the story to what I originally said and my best friend and mum have said that I'm worrying because he probably just said it to get to me. He said he could have took advantage if he had wanted to but decided not to because I was too drunk (aren't men so kind lol). Said he couldn't keep it up so we stopped but I keep worrying and don't know why. I keep looking at dates and trying to work things out but I know I will never know until the baby is born. My partner is over the moon and I feel like I'm being really dishonest but I don't know what else to do. He would never understand. The other guy already has one child by a woman he is no longer with and I have gave him more than enough opportunity to speak up. Do you think he would keep it quiet if more happened. Think it's just pregnancy making me irrational lol,
     
  9. Lilbabymonkey

    Lilbabymonkey Member

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    Ahhhh, that still didn't make sense! I was seeing the guy from the drunken night a month before the drunken night (keeping up :) but saw him on a night out (he was with friends as he hangs around with same friends as me) and went back to his for drinks and a bit of a party (really was nothing dodgy on my part) just gullable about being able to stay friends with exes. I was already with this other guy when this night happened.
     
  10. debgreasby

    debgreasby Happy Mummy!

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    Shit happens hunni, don't beat yourself up about it!
    I think he first denied anythin happened coz maybe he was embarrassed at not being able to do the deed so to speak!
    Am sure everything will be fine, congratulations on your pregnancy, am sure you and your partner will be a wonderful family xxx
     
  11. debgreasby

    debgreasby Happy Mummy!

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    it made sense to me lol
     
  12. dt1234565

    dt1234565 In love with a princess x

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    No one thinks anything of you!!! We all get p****d and lose our memory, well I do anyway!!!

    I do think the other guy is playing you up.

    If you need to put your mind at rest all you can do is a dna after the baby is born. Its just wiping the inside of the mouth with a swab. You may have to tell your partner or just get him while his asleep!!

    I am sure all will be fine and am sure the other guy is not the father as if he says nothing really happened then it probably didnt. And despite memory loss i am sure you would feel it the next day if you had had sex.

    Keep your chin up hun.

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx :hugs:
     
  13. Lilbabymonkey

    Lilbabymonkey Member

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    I know I beat myself up because It's so not the kind of thing I would do. I've always prided myself on being honest and loyal. My partner that I'm with now originally walked out on me for no real reason when we lived together before and when we got back together I know I still felt a little wary and I was very hurt but decided to give him another chance. I know when I went round this guys for a party I shouldn't have gone. Not because I expected anything to happen but I knew I just shouldn't have gone. Partly because I'd had a few and partly because I still had some issues with my partner I felt a little defiant and thought, why the hell not. I know it's really childish and I have more than learnt my lesson. Me and my partner are stronger than ever but it would break his heart if he wasn't the dad and I really don't think he would raise another mans baby. I want us to be a family more than anything and feel so guilty. I have been close to telling him but my friend and mum both told me not to as it would be unfair to unload my guilt onto him and hurt him. Also, I could ruin everything by telling him about an incident that possibly never even happened. It could just be this guy trying to hurt me. Also, he could be trying to get to my partner as he admitted that he felt this other guy had "knicked his girlfriend". How unbelievably childish I know. In a way shows his mentality. I just worry that more happened and I can't remember. He did tell his friend who is my best friends partner that we had a few drinks, a laugh and were really drunk and passed out but he keeps changing his story. Just want us to be happy but feel like this other guy is always gonna be there to haunt me and the worst thing is is I was so stupid to get myself in this situation. I come from a town where if it all got out and turned out to be his then I would never hear the last of it. My friend also says that it's pregnancy fear. Pregnancy causes us to worry about things. I know deep down that the chances are very slim but my head can't help but constantly worry.
     
  14. Lilbabymonkey

    Lilbabymonkey Member

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    You would think I'd feel it but this other guy is notoriously small in size lol. Even though he really thinks he's some kind of casanova. I know by the dates of the dating scan I should be fine but I keep thinking it's wrong and about how long sperm lives and keep driving myself crazy. Never noticed anything down below the next day and know I would have been very paranoid to check. I was in all my clothes apart from my tights the next day as I was wearing a skirt but I would have thought we would have been naked if sex happened fully cos when I'm drunk and having sex I usually get a lot more confidence lol. Usually it's lights off don't look but when I 've had a few I become a sex goddess :) Or so I think at the time. lol
     
  15. Lilbabymonkey

    Lilbabymonkey Member

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    After the night in question I made a conscious effort to act normal with my partner as we are usually very sexually active and if I didn't seem up for it then he would have thought something was wrong. I know me and my partner were at it alot but it's harder to remember that because obviously the sex I had with him wasn't a concern (if u get what I mean) Anyway, I really am gonna stop now. Thank you soooooooooo much :)
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     

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