Help with 2 year old behavior problems

[tiffany0769]

Hey everyone. I'm trying to get some answers/suggestions as my husband and I are having a difficult time. We have been married 5 years, but were separated for 3 until April 2010 and now he has 2 boys, exactly one year apart who are 1 and 2. The mother has had them since we have been back together and had no discipline or stability and we only saw them a handful of times. Then in October she called us and told us to come and get them because she was being evicted and had no where to go. Now we are trying our best to raise these 2 little boys but nothing is working. They spit, hit, throw toys, tell us no, kick, scream, and everything else. We tried time out by sitting them in a time out chair facing the wall but the 2 year old scraps the paint off the wall or pull up the carpet while the 18 month old screams like someone is killing him! We tried popping them on the butt like once and telling them "no" for the more severe things but that doesn't work, just like neither does popping their hand. We were currently forced to move and are temporarily staying with my parents until we find our own place but it's a living hell here. My mother says the boys scream too much, we don't need to spank them, this and that all the time but nothing works. At night after we read to them and tell them it's time to go to bed and walk out, they scream and scream and then my parents come running that they don't want to hear that all night. My mother thinks we should hold the boys until they go to sleep since it worked for her ONE night but they are too big to be held and most of the time they are trying to play instead of sleep. We tried to lay with them but all they did was sit up and get up and try to run around and play until we ended up having to pop them and that still didn't work so we just walked out and then the screaming begins! They don't want us to pop them but the time out is just not working and the screaming they do in time out upsets my parents too and they say they can't take it. Please help! We don't know what else to do...wish we could call in The Nanny!

 

[maybebaby3]

i am sorry you are going through such a tough time. the children are probably reacting to being separated from their mum. i would use time out and try to be consistent. they will eventually (hopefully) realise that that behaviour will not be tolerated! maybe you could put the naughty chair/spot away from the wall or maybe use a travel cot? i am sorry not to be of more help. sticker reward charts have helped with my children but at 3 and 5 they are older than your two so i dont know if it'd help but it's maybe worth a go. i have different goals like 'be polite' 'brush your teeth' 'tidy your toys' and if they get 5 out of 7 targets in the day they get a sticker for the day and then they have a treat at the end of the week if they get a sticker each day. good luck