Help with 21 months old bedtime schedule

[BlingyGal]

My daughter is 21 months old - until a few months ago, she slept 6pm to 7am. It was amazing.

Now, for the past few months, most days she wakes at 530am, screaming/crying. Very upset. We go get her and usually she's awake for the day even though she's tired (some days she goes back to sleep after being cuddled). (when she would wake at 7am, she was happy and chatty.)

We're not fans of the 5-530am wake time. We've tried putting her to bed at a later time (like 630, 7, 730pm) but she still wakes at 530am. Plus, when we keep her awake longer than usual, she is an absolute mess - crying, tantrums. Sometimes she will even take herself to her room and point to the crib, wanting us to put her to sleep (at 615pm).

She naps 1.5-2hours at daycare.

Do you think she's in a sleep transition? Maybe she'll adjust to staying up later and then go back to sleeping in?

Changes in the past few months: I went back to work (she was 16 months old), she has been sick many times since starting daycare, she moved up into the toddler room at daycare, Christmas vacation and a ten day holiday in January.

We're so confused because we'd like a bit more of a lie-in.

 

[k4th]

I think she sounds a bit overtired because you say she's so grumpy. I'd put her to bed early for a few nights & let her sleep a bit longer at daycare if she will to catch up.

That said - my ds is 18 months. Currently if I let him sleep too long in the day, he wakes early because he doesn't need any more sleep. He's grumpy because I don't (can't/won't) let him get up at 5.30am so make him wait a little... but once he's up he's bright as a button & clearly has had enough sleep. I wake him after 45 mins nap now & he sleeps 7.15pm to 6.30am.

He doesn't need much sleep!!!

 

[Zephram]

Kids sleep does change a lot at this age. I would have to say the opposite to the PP, it sounds to me like you are expecting too much sleep from her. At 21 months I don't think there's any way she will sleep 13 hours at night plus a two hour nap during the day. She will most likely need 14 hours max at her age and many will have less. My DS1 was probably sleeping no more than 13.5 hours a day at that age.

11-11.5 hours at night plus a two hour nap will likely be enough.

The early waking is also normal. I know you don't want to hear that but most young kids wake very early.

 

[JumpingIn]

Totally agree, I think you're expecting too much sleep, Especially if she isn't waking in the night.

My son is a month younger and sleeps 7.30-6 (on average, huge variation here!) plus a night wake up or two some nights and a 1.5-2 hour nap. So total sleep is about 12-14 hours in any 24 hour period

 

[Zephram]

My DS2 is nearly 19 months and sleeps around 11-12 hours at night and a 1.5 hour nap during the day, so he's probably only doing 13.5 hours max a day.

The older they get the more their nap starts to eat into their night sleep total since they do have a max amount of sleep they need in a 24 hour period. So if you work out that she sleeps 1.5-2 hours during the day then she likely won't sleep more than 11-11.5 hours at night and you kind of have to work backwards from her natural wake up time to find the ideal bedtime with that in mind.

 

[MindUtopia]

6pm to 7am with a nap sounds like a lot of sleep for a 21 month old. At that age, mine rarely slept til 7am. It was more like 5:30-6:30am most days, with a 7:30 or even 8pm bedtime and an hour nap in the afternoon.

I suspect she probably is in a sleep transition and you might see the nap start to go soon. I have a friend who's daughter had a 2-3 hour nap in the afternoons at that age and up til almost 3 and she was definitely a 5-5:30am waker until the nap got cut and she adjusted.

I might try shifting her sleep schedule just slightly, later to bed by 15 minutes for a few weeks and then a bit later after a few weeks and see if you can get her going to sleep later and sleeping later.

From about 2 ish, mine never slept more than 12 hours a day including a nap, and now I'd say it's more like 10-12 hours (she doesn't nap anymore). Once that becomes the case, you'll want those 10-12 hours at more sociable times, so it you can start making the move now, it might help. If you do it slowly, it should be more manageable. Also, for now, get yourself to bed early. The weeks when sleep is rough and our daughter is sick, we still take ourselves to bed at 8:30-9pm so we can deal with the wake ups or early mornings.

 

[BlingyGal]

Thanks for all the replies.

Since posting this, her sleeping has improved! For about a week now, she has a quick wake-up around 5-530am but settles back to sleep within a couple of minutes. No more extreme crying and screaming. She's now sleeping until 630-7am. We even had one day of 6pm-8am (it was a day full of excitement and LOTS of visiting so she was completely knackered by the end).

I know a few people thought I was expecting too much sleep from her but I checked the Healthy Habits, Happy Child book and her sleep needs are still in the range of normal (on the higher side of normal). She's always needed a fair amount of sleep.

It was such a long rough patch - whew. She's less grouchy now in the mornings and evenings too.