help with parental rightsO

:hugs: was really hoping for you that he had changed x

Aw precious me too but as u and I know we have learned the hard way this year that these guys have no bloody ability to change. Mines gives me hard time for not telling him stuff so I tell him and he just ignores it!! Aaasrggh
 
For any child born after December 2003, if the father is named on the birth certificate he automatically gets parental responsibility. Your parents wont automatically get it - you need to apply to Court for that.
 
Well hes had his chance, hes not going on it now, I was willing to see how it goes from now till the birth, but he had 3 chances to meet me over a 2 week period of time, and he didnt bother to get in touch before or after these agreed times, and he didnt show. Not heard from him for a week now.So he has had his chance for that. I wont stop him knowing his child of vice versa but hes lost his chance for responsibility by law. And im gonna still contact CSA and he can deal with it. even if it takes ages to sort i know they can take money form his pay legally whether or not he is on the cert. so screw him!
 
Im glad i read this post, its really made me think about the birth dertificate more, Your ex sounds just like mine, he says he wants to come down and discuss things but doesnt turn up, yet he expects everything to go his way. Your very brave letting him be at the birth, i couldnt do that with my ex, he would only stress me out more, last night he called me a lying little c**t, and a vile creature, yet he wants us to get along? and he was the one who cheated, so how am i the liar? lol

Your parents sound good though, mine are also helpfull, though i feel like they still want me to take him bak, but i guess they dont no the whole story, so its harder for them.

Have you made a decision about the birth certificate yet? Im thinking i wont be, also, silly question... but does anyone no if you have to pay to make a will? i have no idea, you dont generally think about wills and things when your 21 lol
 
Ps - dont worry about your parents wanting you to get back with him, tell them a bit more, i told my parents a few more details of what he said, and he is banned from our house indefinately, and my parents dont ever wanna meet him or see him!!
 
Like somebody else said I have also wrote a will with a letter of wishes saying inthe event of my death or not being able to look after lilly i would like my mother to take over my parental responcibilities. If he wants to go on the birth certificate i would let him, as this is going to be for your child when she is older and having father unknown is not nice. also if u dnt let him go on it and say u dnt know who he is then he can go to court to go on it anyway and will win if he is proved to be the father. make sure you do that will though, its free if your unemployed too x
 
Im glad i read this post, its really made me think about the birth dertificate more, Your ex sounds just like mine, he says he wants to come down and discuss things but doesnt turn up, yet he expects everything to go his way. Your very brave letting him be at the birth, i couldnt do that with my ex, he would only stress me out more, last night he called me a lying little c**t, and a vile creature, yet he wants us to get along? and he was the one who cheated, so how am i the liar? lol

Your parents sound good though, mine are also helpfull, though i feel like they still want me to take him bak, but i guess they dont no the whole story, so its harder for them.

Have you made a decision about the birth certificate yet? Im thinking i wont be, also, silly question... but does anyone no if you have to pay to make a will? i have no idea, you dont generally think about wills and things when your 21 lol

hey, glad you found it helpfull.
I am not letting him be at the birth anymore, or sign the cert. He had 3 chances to meet and resolve his previous actions/words/name calling and threatening behaviour, yet he didnt turn up. STILL not heard from him since a week ago on sat just past when we arranged we would meet a week ago today, not a word. so F him. He can have a realtionship with her when shes older, and i wont tell her what i think of him she can decide herself. And he can pay to come up here and get a hotel and visit etc if he wants, but not much mroe i can do. im not offering anymore and im not putting much trust in him ever again.

Yeah im only 23 and i had no idea i would need to make a will, but i AM def going to make a living one. My dad works abroad but hes home in a few weeks and im gonna ask him if he can take me to a solicitors to make a living will. I dont know if i have to make it once shes born or if i can make it now, maybe its better to make one once shes born, I think there would be an initial fee.. the solicitor cost or wtv, but i think thats it? i think WE keep it dont we?? im not sure im gonna ask my dad.

Ive moved into my mums now till about Feb when im looking to move out ( purely cos i have no money for rent and HB only coveres full amount once baby is here ) so i thought once shes 2 months will be in a routine and easier than any earlier. so thats fine, and instead of paying rent ive to make sure the house is not a tip, clean and tidy and generally help my mum. And when shes at work couple times a week ill cook dinner for her/ her and my dad / me my sister. so she can relax a bit. I think thats fair enough ( i would probably of done that ANYWAY ) as im 23 and living rent and bill free. And ive just gotta make sure i dont overtake her house with baby things. ( but tbh once the baby is here i dont think she will care if theres babystuff around ). :thumbup:

wow this post is long. But yeah, The FOB isnt going on the birth cert, which i wanna get my parents to take me to reg her birth on the way home from the hospital so i can apply to CSA soon as possible. ( you need a number from the cert to apply to csa ), and because im on benefits and single parent the jobcentre involve csa anyways, so he cant get mad cos they will take his money. ! even if i only see 20 quid while im on benefits, I would rather his money goes back into the gov till i can work and will get the full 15%, because its not fair he gets to swan around doing what he wants, why should the gov pay and help when he SHOULD be, so the rest id rather went back into gov. which it will till i work. If he decides to deny parentage (which is something he has never disputed with me this whole time) then he will have to pay for the DNA test,if he refuses they will assume he is the dad.

hope that helps xx


I dont blame you for not wanting him at the birth, its going to be stressfull and painfull enough without the added pressure of him being there.

Yeah i still live my mum aswell, and its rent free, i dont have to buy food and she even does my washing for me still, so i guess im very lucky lol, Im not completley lazy though, i do make dinner aswell and clean up when it needs to be done lol Yeah ive just spoke to my mum now, and told her the reasons that im having no contact with him from now on, and she said as long as he pays maintanance thats all she cares about, in her mind shes sees it as, why should he get to walk away and have a new life and leave me with the stress.

I havent a clue about wills, but nearer the time, i think im gunna have to read into a lil bit more.

Im sure he wont deny he's her dad, but if he's being unrealiable i guess you can never really tell lol

Ive spoke to my friend who knows all about the situation, and i told her im not putting him on the birth cert and she said its the best decision ive ever made, and its the best thing for my baby, ive given him so many chances to be involved, so at least he cant turn around and say i never did :thumbup:
 
ps lou - i love the name scarlett, its very very near the top of my list !! :D
 
Haha thanks! I love it! its not too common, but at the same time its not too unusual.

I agree, deff get it done before you get a job, otherwise i think it will be pretty pricey!

I agree its not nice to have a blank space, yet when your baby asks you why in the future, you will be able to honestly tell her why, and if he is not around she will understand completley
 
yeah. Well theres not much i can do i wish the situation i was in was diferent, but i cant change it and i cant change other people. So ill just deal with it the best i can and the best thing i can do is judge each situation at a time and do what i thinks best then and there. No point thinkgin what if or when or whatever, just stresses u out!
 

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