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[Pinkcasi]

Ok hi everyone I'm new to this part of the forum, I just had my little girl on Friday, we came home from the hospital yesterday - Sunday, in hospital she was a dream child she fed every 6 hours, in fact she didn't wake to feed I had to wake her up she probably would have just slept through otherwise, we came home yesterday and she was fine, then as soon as we all went to bed she starts screaming, she was feeding on and off from about 2am till after 6 she just wouldn't settle, everytime I put her down she would start screaming and want feeding, I'd feed her (agony) then put her down, lie down in bed then right on que she'd start again, I woke oh eventually cos I just didn't know what to do and he came downstairs with her and I went to bed she wasn't hungry just screaming for fun but eventually she wanted food again and course I'm the only one that can do that, she was giving all the signs of hunger but when faced with 'the tap' shoved in her face she just screams, eventually she fell asleep on my chest that was about 8 am it's now just gone noon and she's still sleeping! I just don't get it at all, I'm now awake and she's sleeping like a bloody baby!
She was so wonderful for those 2 days in hospital she didn't cry at all and only fed 6 hourly, but last night I just felt like I couldn't cope, please god don't let this be my life.

It's such a horrible feeling not being able to soothe my own child, I just didn't know what was wrong, I kept thinking what if there is something wrong with her and I've missed it.

 

[Katteh]

I'm afraid this sounds pretty normal. She shouldn't be left for such long stretches without food though, at that age you need to be feeding every 2 hourly during the day and 3 hourly overnight. You need to keep doing that until she regains her birthweight (on average this is at about 2 weeks), or even longer if she is particularly sleepy.

How many wet/dirty nappies is she having a day? You need to wake her to feed otherwise they end up not having enough energy to wake and feed. If she falls asleep whilst feeding you need to be stripping her down and ensuring she stays awake long enough to get a decent feed into her.

Have you had her latch checked by a midwife?

It can be really difficult in those first few weeks but you just need to perservere through it. It gets much easier and is more than worth the initial effort. Congratulations on your new baby!

 

[Elmo5]

You should not be leaving her 6 hours between feeding's. If she does not wake between 3-4 hours naturally for food then you need to wake her. It can be difficult to rouse a sleeping baby but you need to persevere. Otherwise you can fall in a viscous cycle where baby does not wake for food, so does not have the energy to feed. Feeding frequently is normal, it is hard work but it doesn't last forever.

Feeding should not be agony, have you a breastfeeding support group near you where you can get your positioning checked out.

What is the nappy output like? What colour is the poo, how many wet ones are there?

 

[Pinkcasi]

Thanks for the replies, I was told in the hospital that 6 hours is the longest time to leave her, my midwife has just been and she's happy with her, despite the nightmare night Stella is once again the perfect baby, she slept from 8 to noon, had a little lunch latched perfectly just to show the midwife and now sleeping like a baby again.

She's had the yucky tar nappies and a couple of wet ones but I think my milk is only coming in now today to I expect that to change now she's getting actual milk.

I do have a breast feeding support worker who will probably come see me this week, and there's a group that my mw just told me about that's on a Tuesday, can't go tomorrow as got an appt to go register her but think ill pop by next week.

Thanks for you help ladies.

 

[Katteh]

6 hours is far too long for a newborn. Those early feeds tell ypur body how many babies you need to feed, if you don't feed much then you wont produce much milk. It can be really hard to maintain a proper milk supply without regular feeds in those crucial early days/weeks x

 

[DianaB]

6 hours is definitely too long to leave a newborn without feeding, I was told at least every 2 hours in the day and 3-4 at night. The frequent feeding is also very normal for a newborn there were times in my DD's first few weeks where she would nurse for over 2 hours straight switching from side to side as one emptied, only to want to repeat the process half an hour later. The frequent feeding will let up though. Now at 2 months she goes 2 hours in the day and sleeps a full 8-9 hour stretch at night.

 

[Pinkcasi]

Bear in mind that my milk has only just come in today, I have been told she will feed more now that it's real milk, the first 2 days it was colostrum so went longer.

Today she's been going 3-4 hours this I recon is going to be way more normal.

 

[angelandbump]

You always get conflicting information from health professionals and experienced mothers but I must agree with the ladies, 6 hours IMO is just too long. I got told I was letting my son go too long between feeds when he was doing 4 hours on a night but he was only going 2 hours between feeds a day so they said he must be getting his fill.

This is an important time for your body to build up a supply and know how much on average to produce. So the more your baby feeds, the more your body creates milk. Be prepared when your milk comes in, your may have very large , hard and uncomfortable boobs but this again is when your body is regulating the amount of milk needed.

I am SO fortunate that at 9 weeks (and from 4 weeks approx.) my son sleeps between 5-7 hours per night but that's only if he has regularly fed during the day. If not then he is constantly on and off the breast all night which can be sore. Also in the early stages, your nipples are toughening so it is sore but it does pass xx

 

[CandyDay]

I would wake LO up during the day if sleeping for longer then 3-4 hrs. LO might sleep better at night if you do that during the day. At night I would not wake LO up if LO is gaining weight and has enough wet and poopy nappies in a day.

 

[Pinkcasi]

Ok thanks for the judgement all just to recap,
My daughter went 6 hours while in hospital since we've been home it's been a max of 10 mins if I'm lucky, I wrote the original post after the first night home I'm now on the 2nd night and she went from about midnight through to 4 and I consider myself very lucky indeed.

So I'm sorry I posted, I'm not starving my child, there were a whole hospital full of midwives that for 2 days kept asking 'when's the last time she fed' no one ever had an issue with my answer, no one made me feel like a shitty mum until I asked for help and reassurance so thanks for that, the point was that she went from feeding rarely the first 2 days if her life to wanting to be fed every 10 minutes and I was a bit concerned, I should have spoken to my mw (as I did yesterday) rather than asking here as my mw can see my daughter and can see she is in no way starving or neglected she is in the words if my mw a happy and contented baby, first night home is always going to be rough, I know now that all I needed was a little reassurance that I'm not totally screwing up and despite you all trying to make me feel like a failure I actually feel pretty good.

 

[Katteh]

Sorry, I certainly didn't mean to make you feel like that. From your posts it came across like you were expecting your baby to do those long stretches at home too, so I think everyone just got a bit concerned because it seemed such a long time for a newborn to go without a feed. No one was suggesting you were a failure at all, I think it was just more that everyone was just trying to srress how important those early feeds are.

It sounds to me like you're doing great. Hang in there, it does get better x

 

[Pinkcasi]

Sorry perhaps I over reacted - hormones lol but I thought I was clear, I'm aware that once my milk came in she would feed more what bothered me was that she was wanting feeding every 10 minutes and when I put my breast in front of her she wouldn't take it just screamed instead, I don't know maybe she had a bit of wind that I missed or something, it's just like everyone read the '6 hours' and didn't bother to read any more just jump all over me well trust me she's making up for those first 2 nights by feeding every 10 minutes but at least she's actually taking it before she starts screaming, now tell me is 10 minutes acceptable or is that wrong too?

Edit and I should have mentioned that I had pethidine during labour and my mw tells me this makes baby drowsy for a while.

 

[Katteh]

Yeah my little girl was sleepy due to pethidine too, it was difficult to wake her for a good few days.

Has your milk come in yet? I'm not sure why your baby was screaming before but at least she is happier now.

 

[MissChristal]

Don't worry things will get easier. The first few nights in the hospital lo would sleep A LOT but I think that has to do with the stress of the birthing process. Anyways, you will learn her different cries and what each one mean in no time... just takes a little time. One thing I did, during his long feedings I would just lye down on my side with him next to me and let him nurse... sometimes for a few hours at a time 0_0 If she's refusing the breast, has already nursed, has a clean nappy.. maybe try swaddling her or even better, strip her down and lay skin to skin, with her head on your chest so she can listen to your heart beat (even try humming or singing softly). I found that usually one of these things worked for my lo. It's a different, BIG world out here and it's just new to them so listening to mommy's heartbeat or trying some of those other things might be soothing and comforting to baby.

I know you are barely getting your milk in so it's too early now, but for future reference, I found that sometimes my little man would cry because he was gassy. There's a massage that helps relieve that as well. I do it after every few diaper changes. You can find it on youtube

Congrats on your LO and don't worry... sounds like you are doing a great job! I PROMISE it gets soooo much easier. My baby boy is just shy of 3 months and sleeps mostly through the night from 11pm to 9-10am . He only wakes up to eat twice but only for like 5-10 minutes and he's out again!

 

[Pinkcasi]

I don't know why the screaming either I think like I said maybe a little wind but last night was better so I'm less concerned.

She does love sleeping on my chest and I love the cuddles but as soon as I put her in her Moses basket she's wide awake and hungry lol

To be fair it's now 10am and last night wasn't so bad she woke up for feeding obviously but there was limited screaming, I'm winning!

 

[MissChristal]

I hear you! He would sleep soundly while on my chest or next to me but as soon as I put him in his bassinet or he would start crying. I know you're not suppose to but o caved in and just let him sleep with me. I'm not a heavy sleeper so I thought it would be okay. Also, once I finally transitioned him (once again) to sleeping on his own in the bassinet I put one of the shirts I was wearing inside the bassinet so he could at least have my scent. I must admit that sometimes I still take him out his bassinet at night purely for my own selfish reasons... I love his cuddles. He won't be little forever

Glad everything was better for you last night!

 

[Pinkcasi]

Well mischristal the midwife told me yesterday that at this young age they are incapable of being spoilt apparently they're brains aren't capable of manipulation, I said that I thought she was crying for the sake of it and she said, no if she's crying there's a reason for it. She said to enjoy all the sleepy cuddles while she's this little, my mum disagrees, she's old school though, I will take all the cuddles while I can!

 

[ohdessy]

Your lo sounds exactly like mine. He was so sleepy he only fed every 4-6 hours for the first 2 days. The midwives even told me off for letting him go so long between feeds and showed me how to wake him (strip him down, skin to skin) but I still couldn't do it. I was so worried before discharge that I'd go home and not be able to feed my baby. What they hadn't seen though was that he fed constantly from 12am to 6am on the first night, since then he feeds every 2 hours in the day and constantly from 5pm-11pm, its hard for me to even feed myself.

He's also very fussy during the evenings, I call it his witching hour lol, he will latch on, scream like my boob is killing him and then cry for more milk. I think in the beginning my letdown was hard for him to handle, now my supply has settled he still grunts, cries and pulls on the nipple but I figured out its gas and i'll take him off burp him. Usually he burps or calms down enough to try again.

So what I'm trying to say is cluster feeding and fussiness is very normal at this age. You are not a bad mum for letting her go 6 hours in the beginning, just trust your instincts. My lo exceeded his birth weight by the first week and grew at twice the rate expected of him so it paid off. Dont listen to any fears of low supply as long as shes gaining and wetting enough, and your nipples should adjust soon aswell. Also like pp said, practice side lying nursing! Its the only way I survive the nights. We cosleep too, OH sleeps on an air bed on the floor because there's not enough room in the bed with baby. I know its hard but your doing great and cherish this closeness while you can!

Sorry for the long post!

 

[Pinkcasi]

Oh thank you so much that's just the kind of post I needed!

I'm feeling better about things now were a few days in and I've managed to nap a bit today, Stella has been asleep since about 5 and I'm wondering if I should wake her to eat in a min at 7pm but I guess she can go a little longer.

I think were both just getting used to everything and one another, I had a weird anxiety attack last night where I convinced myself there was something I should be taking, some medication the hospital gave me I was feeling shakey and ill but my oh managed to calm me down, I worry so much about everything but I'm getting there I think.

 

[ohdessy]

Glad it helped Yea its a big learning curve for both of you. Good thing your DH is there to calm you down, in the beginning I was so paranoid of Atlas not getting enough milk or not latching properly and worked myself up to tears. Funnily enough his latch "looks bad" but causes no pain so it works for us. I think the hardest part of being a mum so far is the worry! Its great you're napping in the days, get as much as you can. I still haven't worked that one out but luckily he sleeps well enough at night.

Yea she could wake on her own, I guess wake her if she gets past 3 hours until she regains birth weight, then just go with the flow.