Hey Ladies

[dannienewt]

Hey girls, new to this section. I recently miscarried and we are about to start TTC again. I feel as though AF is due any day. Although I'm not sure when it should start. I decided to wait one cycle before trying again. I am so nervous. I'm so ready to start, but at the same time I'm terrified to have the same outcome again. I don't know if I could go through it again. I read so many post of women who have suffered several miscarriages and my heart just aches for them. How do I get past this fear. I'm afraid that if I am lucky enough to get pregnant again I will be so scared that I might cause something bad to happen. Any advice?

 

[kriola]

I recently had a miscarriage too and can completely understand what you're feeling. We decided to TTC immediately. There's no reason to believe that you will have any problems with another pregnancy, but there's always that "what if" feeling in the back of your mind. After one MC, you have just as much chance of another MC as someone who's never had one. Try to remember that (I know...easier said than done)

My MD diagnosed me with PCOS and feels that may have something to do with the MC as my progesterone level was really low (0.3!)and immediately started me on Metformin after the MC and Clomid in October.

Has you MD done any testing? Did you have your progesterone checked?

I don't know if I've helped at all but I really hope everything works out for you.

 

[dannienewt]

Thank you so much for your response and encouragement Kriola! I hate hearing other women going through this but at the same time I find some reassurance. I am so sorry to hear about your loss, it's terrible we have to go through things like this in life. I haven't had any kind of testing done since I've only had one miscarriage and I had one healthy pregnancy. I keep trying to figure out why this happened. I know that it probably had nothing to do with what I did or didn't do, but I just can't help but wonder.
I hope this isn't too personal but when did you have your first AF after? I have been cramping for several days now, but haven't started yet, which is totally strange. I usually only cramp the day of, I mean this type of cramping. So I'm not sure if this is AF cramps or something else. Thanks so much, and I wish you tons and tons of luck!! Hopefully we both have wonderful stories to tell soon!!

 

[ncmommy]

So sorry for your loss!

Once you have a loss you lose that pregnancy innocence. I never thought it would happen to me once let alone 3 times now but I keep going cause my wanting a 2nd child outweighs my fear of a mc. There is no reason to believe that you will have a mc again and nothing you will do will make you mc.

Lots of baby dust to you!

 

[dannienewt]

I am so sorry to hear about your losses. I truly couldn't imagine! You must be so strong!! I love my son, I also have a step son whom I love as my own, but long to be pregnant again. When we found out we were so overjoyed. Its scary to think about going through that again. Plus my husband is 9 years older than me so we really want this to happen sooner than later. Its a tough pill to swallow but we must keep going! For you to still try with such a positive attitude is amazing!
Sending lots of luck your way!

 

[kriola]

A few days after the MC I had a follow-up with MD and had follow-up BW to monitor my HCG levels. The only reason I knew about my low progesterone was after asking him about the results. Otherwise, I don't think he would have mentioned it! They usually take prog levels with HCG. I would ask your MD to see what your levels were. I had read about PCOS after he mentioned "lots of cysts". After questioning him, I got the diagnosis and appropriate treatment which really worked because the cysts were gone within a month.
I ovulated 16 days later and AF on CD 32 which is normal for me. The next month was a little longer but that was probably due to the Progesterone supplements that I'm on.
It's actually a good sign that you're having cramping with no AF because that could be implantation. My previous pregnancies I had continuous cramping too; one of my first symptoms early on.
You didn't do anything to cause your MC. Sometimes things do happen for absolutely no reason at all. For me, it meant discovering my PCOS which TOTALLY explains my ridiculous weight gain over the last couple of years. PCOS carries a huge risk of diabetes and heart disease as you get older!!! MCs are more common than most of us realize. How far along were you?
I just had a Day 21 progesterone done today and asked the MD to do a sonogram. He found one 1.5 cm follicle on left ovary and two 1.5 cm follicles on right along with a 3 cm "hemorrhagic" cyst. I'm not sure what to think. One the one hand it might mean four eggs were available for fertilization but it could also mean that 3 were too small for ovulation and the hemorrhagic didn't produce an egg at all!!! I'm a bit confused, to say the least!
I hope this is the month for the both of us (it really does sound like it could be for you)

 

[ncmommy]

I am so sorry to hear about your losses. I truly couldn't imagine! You must be so strong!! I love my son, I also have a step son whom I love as my own, but long to be pregnant again. When we found out we were so overjoyed. Its scary to think about going through that again. Plus my husband is 9 years older than me so we really want this to happen sooner than later. Its a tough pill to swallow but we must keep going! For you to still try with such a positive attitude is amazing!
Sending lots of luck your way!

Yes, we must keep going or else all this pain would have been for nothing. This site has really helped me a lot, for the longest time I thought I was alone and although it is sad to know that so many of us have gone through this it is comforting at the same time.

 

[kriola]

I am so sorry to hear about your losses. I truly couldn't imagine! You must be so strong!! I love my son, I also have a step son whom I love as my own, but long to be pregnant again. When we found out we were so overjoyed. Its scary to think about going through that again. Plus my husband is 9 years older than me so we really want this to happen sooner than later. Its a tough pill to swallow but we must keep going! For you to still try with such a positive attitude is amazing!
Sending lots of luck your way!

Yes, we must keep going or else all this pain would have been for nothing. This site has really helped me a lot, for the longest time I thought I was alone and although it is sad to know that so many of us have gone through this it is comforting at the same time.

I completely agree. I found this site the day I had my MC and it definietley helped.

 

[grandbleu]

I found this great forum 6 weeks after my M/C when I was still feeling so sad and I am so glad I did...I'm not alone anymore.

Dannienewt - I'm in the same position (except I don't have any other kids) but I just had a miscarriage and now am in the midst of TTCing...want to get pregnant but petrified again that something might happen...and deeper worries about whether I'll be a good mom...miscarriages mess with your mind. Also for another question of yours I got my period 26 days after my M/C.

About the reason WHY this happened to us?

After my M/C I had a scan with a new OBGYN a week later to make sure everything was out of my uterus. He was so SYMPATHETIC and nice and spent a lot of time just talking about my feelings (amazing for a doctor!). After we had finished and he told me my uterus was fine he asked me again, "Is there anything else you want to know or talk about" and I said, "Why did this happen to me?"...his answer was quite philosophical and I didn't like it at first but the more I think about it, it really makes sense and I like it. He said,

"The reason you had a miscarriage is because that is your story...your name is ____________ and you had a miscarriage...this is your life...this is your story"

At first I thought it was a bit trite and didn't really comfort me but then I thought about it and it's true having a miscarriage is now part of my story...the life I have lived on this planet...it will now form what I will do and how I will act from now on in little and big ways...it is part of my story. I don't know if that helps you at all but I kind of liked it.

 

[kriola]

I found this great forum 6 weeks after my M/C when I was still feeling so sad and I am so glad I did...I'm not alone anymore.

Dannienewt - I'm in the same position (except I don't have any other kids) but I just had a miscarriage and now am in the midst of TTCing...want to get pregnant but petrified again that something might happen...and deeper worries about whether I'll be a good mom...miscarriages mess with your mind. Also for another question of yours I got my period 26 days after my M/C.

About the reason WHY this happened to us?

After my M/C I had a scan with a new OBGYN a week later to make sure everything was out of my uterus. He was so SYMPATHETIC and nice and spent a lot of time just talking about my feelings (amazing for a doctor!). After we had finished and he told me my uterus was fine he asked me again, "Is there anything else you want to know or talk about" and I said, "Why did this happen to me?"...his answer was quite philosophical and I didn't like it at first but the more I think about it, it really makes sense and I like it. He said,

"The reason you had a miscarriage is because that is your story...your name is ____________ and you had a miscarriage...this is your life...this is your story"

At first I thought it was a bit trite and didn't really comfort me but then I thought about it and it's true having a miscarriage is now part of my story...the life I have lived on this planet...it will now form what I will do and how I will act from now on in little and big ways...it is part of my story. I don't know if that helps you at all but I kind of liked it.

Wow! reading what your doctor said makes me feel so much better about what I've been through in the last few months. This hasn't broken me, I'm still here, and I'm OK!

 

[grandbleu]

Yes...we are stronger than we think...

 

[dannienewt]

I found this great forum 6 weeks after my M/C when I was still feeling so sad and I am so glad I did...I'm not alone anymore.

Dannienewt - I'm in the same position (except I don't have any other kids) but I just had a miscarriage and now am in the midst of TTCing...want to get pregnant but petrified again that something might happen...and deeper worries about whether I'll be a good mom...miscarriages mess with your mind. Also for another question of yours I got my period 26 days after my M/C.

About the reason WHY this happened to us?

After my M/C I had a scan with a new OBGYN a week later to make sure everything was out of my uterus. He was so SYMPATHETIC and nice and spent a lot of time just talking about my feelings (amazing for a doctor!). After we had finished and he told me my uterus was fine he asked me again, "Is there anything else you want to know or talk about" and I said, "Why did this happen to me?"...his answer was quite philosophical and I didn't like it at first but the more I think about it, it really makes sense and I like it. He said,

"The reason you had a miscarriage is because that is your story...your name is ____________ and you had a miscarriage...this is your life...this is your story"

At first I thought it was a bit trite and didn't really comfort me but then I thought about it and it's true having a miscarriage is now part of my story...the life I have lived on this planet...it will now form what I will do and how I will act from now on in little and big ways...it is part of my story. I don't know if that helps you at all but I kind of liked it.

Thank you sooo much for sharing that with me. It made me cry, but in a beautiful way. I think thats an amazing way to put it! Thank you!

 

[dannienewt]

I think Christopher Robin said it best.. You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. lol

 

[dannienewt]

A few days after the MC I had a follow-up with MD and had follow-up BW to monitor my HCG levels. The only reason I knew about my low progesterone was after asking him about the results. Otherwise, I don't think he would have mentioned it! They usually take prog levels with HCG. I would ask your MD to see what your levels were. I had read about PCOS after he mentioned "lots of cysts". After questioning him, I got the diagnosis and appropriate treatment which really worked because the cysts were gone within a month.
I ovulated 16 days later and AF on CD 32 which is normal for me. The next month was a little longer but that was probably due to the Progesterone supplements that I'm on.
It's actually a good sign that you're having cramping with no AF because that could be implantation. My previous pregnancies I had continuous cramping too; one of my first symptoms early on.
You didn't do anything to cause your MC. Sometimes things do happen for absolutely no reason at all. For me, it meant discovering my PCOS which TOTALLY explains my ridiculous weight gain over the last couple of years. PCOS carries a huge risk of diabetes and heart disease as you get older!!! MCs are more common than most of us realize. How far along were you?
I just had a Day 21 progesterone done today and asked the MD to do a sonogram. He found one 1.5 cm follicle on left ovary and two 1.5 cm follicles on right along with a 3 cm "hemorrhagic" cyst. I'm not sure what to think. One the one hand it might mean four eggs were available for fertilization but it could also mean that 3 were too small for ovulation and the hemorrhagic didn't produce an egg at all!!! I'm a bit confused, to say the least!
I hope this is the month for the both of us (it really does sound like it could be for you)

I'm not really educated on PCOS..could you explain what that is? Does this affect your ability to conceive successfully? Just from hearing your story I can tell you are one tough cookie!! It really makes me want to suck it up and move forward. I really appreciate you opening up about your experience!! I know it can be hard to talk about!

 

[kriola]

Don't feel like you have to suck it up. Don't let anyone make you feel like you shouldn't be feeling all the emotions you will feel. I may sound like a tough cookie now but you should have seen me a couple of months ago. I'm so lucky to have sucha wonderful husband who let me cry whenever I needed to and STILL comes with me to the MD whenever he can just to be there for me.
Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome affects so many women and its is the reson for a lot of infertility cases. The ovaries sometimes develop a lot of cysts which can sometimes result in a woman not ovulating and having irregular or absent periods. In my case,i t was always so heavy. It is an endocrinological disorder, all your hormones are out of whack and you can aso be insulin resistant. Luckily, with the help of medications like Metformin, many women are able to conceive.