hi all, need advice

[Novbaby08]

Ok, so I'm new to the forum, I'm 19 years old (still considered teen?) and I'll be 10 weeks this thursday. Not too excited since the daddy left me over it, in fact his family encouraged him to leave me, and think I'm unreasonable for expecting him to stick around. My parents don't know at this point. I am planning to keep this baby, after all, I am the one who helped make it, and get myself into this mess, it would be alot easier if I wasn't single though and pregnant, I was originally happy about it, until he left me, he said he was excited too. I'm feeling lost over this, and not sure where to go from here, my parents would have an easier time accepting terminal cancer. What do you all think?

 

[leeanne]

Honey, first thing you need to do is tell your parents. Yes, they may have a negative reaction but most come around. It's best to tell them now rather than later. I've never been in your shoes but I can only imagine the worry and stress you are feeling with regards to telling your parents. Get it over and done with, hon!

Secondly, I am sorry about your boyfriend. Perhaps in time he will smarten up and realize the reality of the situation.

Best of luck to you!

 

[loubieloulou]

leeanne is dead right, 1st thing you need to do is tell your parents. they will surprise you, it might be a shock at first but you need some support and parents are normally great at that, its important at this stage to get your head around it and start planning your and lo lives. hope your ok, this site is great 4 advice etc keep us updated xx

 

[nikky0907]

I just had a big flashback to my first post...I'm in a similar situation,18(19 by the time she's born) and single.
I was so scared when I first found out,I knew my parents would disown me,such a scary situation...
Then I thought about it,started thinking about things and realised that it's not actually that bad.I now super happy and excited...

But the most important thing is that you need to admit it to your parents ans start working things out.What are you going to do,how are you gonna handle it and stuff like that.
And it's important that you have a good suport system for it so telling your parents might be hard but it will actually make things a lot easier for you..

Good luck!

 

[MUMOF5]

Hi I have been in your situation when I was 18, telling your parents is the hardest thing in the world, but once youve told them then you can move on and enjoy your pregnancy and your baby, and believe me you do not need the daddy there to enjoy it, or to be a good parent, but you will really value support from your parents. My dad went loopy, but given a bit of breathing space he accepted it and was even there when my dughter was born!

 

[Novbaby08]

Yeah its just stressful enough now that I'm single, I don't even know if I'll give the baby his last name. I'm working on figuring out even how to go about the whole thing with my parents, I know I'll never hear the end of it.

 

[nikky0907]

I'm gonna put both last names,but my baby's dad want to be there for her even though we are not together.If your babys dad just left you as soon as you found out because he chickened out that your baby doesn't deserve his last name...my opinion.

 

[Novbaby08]

Yeah well thats what I was thinking, he left m because he doesn't want to be part of this at all.

 

[nikky0907]

Idiot,he'll be sorry about that one day.
I don't know how men can live their lives knowing that somewhere out there is their child...Some people call that an easy way out,but I don't believe it is...

 

[dizzynic]

Hi i was 18 when i fell pregnant with my first 19 when i had her telling my parents was very hard and my dad had quite a negative reaction my mam was annoyed at first and said i was stupid but it took her a few days to come round to the idea and then she was really supportive as were the rest of my family my bf at the time and the babys dad ran off with another girl when i was 5 months pregnant after persuading a very reluctantly pregnant me to keep the baby i was heartbroken but i coped i bonded really well with my bump i sang to it talked to it and let my baby know that mammy loved her very much i pitied my ex for missing out it was his loss concentrate on looking to the future and tell your parents once youve done that you know where you stand and can plan from there x

 

[Novbaby08]

Yeah its just hard, and when she's being a total witch it makes it harder to tell her, and easier to hide it from her.

 

[Blob]

Hey did you tell her?? Or am i well behind here and you've posted in another bit, anyhoo hope it went ok.

 

[Novbaby08]

No, not yet, I'm waiting for a good time.

 

[aSh_x0x]

if your really scared to confront your parents...maybe try an aunt or cousin? even just friends, it will familarise yourself with talking about your pregnancy and letting down your shoulders a little bit, hopefully these people will give you the support you need to tell your parents. Its not safe to have all this added stress on top of your pregnancy especially in the first trimester, just suck it up and get it over with, you will feel so much better and it might suprise you, your parents mighten be as bad as you think.

best wishes
xxx

 

[Novbaby08]

Yeah, well i'm slowly telling more and more people, its hard though, I hardly feel comfortable talking about it. Except online lol.

 

[cheryl]

Hi Hun, I was 15 when I had my first, My mum is a witch too, i would tell her because the longer you leave it the harder it is to tell her. Mine didn't take it too well to start with, but she soon came round and gave me the best suport. The dad had left me. I am now pregnant with my 3rd and couldn't be happier. I am at the same stage as you lol. 9 weeks and 5 days today.
I only told her a week ago about being pregnant this time round, more because I wasn't going to tell anyone til 12 weeks.
If you ever want to talk just pm me.
Luv Cheryl xxx

 

[Novbaby08]

Thanks, I know its just hard, and then the daddy called me last night apologizing for the way he treated me and wants to go with me in 4 weeks to hear the heartbeat. I'm just so blah right now. I have my own negative feelings about being pregnant, plus the complicated relationship I have with the daddy its like, I really don't want to take on anymore at this point, I plan on telling her soon. I'm just waiting for things to settle down a bit

 

[mBLACK]

Boys and men alike are natural idiots. It's not going to be that much tougher without him, actually I think you will find pregnancy a bliss without a man around to tamper with your emotions!I know how you feel, I'm 15 years old and pregnant with my first baby, I am 26 weeks and 1 day along now.
Trust me, dear, it's tough but you can do it. There are resources all over the world, no matter where you live, that aid single parents with finances and different benefits they can claim. If you need more support financially, get him to pay child support, after all, he helped get you to this point! Unless you don't feel the need to or feel like you can do it on your own, it's going to be difficult but it's possible. And as for your parents, TELL THEM ASAP. Because believe it or not, they WILL warm up to the idea, a grandmother/grandfathers love is sought to be the strongest love in the world apart from a mothers. They may quit speaking with you for awhile, but trust me, they'll get over it.
If you need any help, don't hesitate to pm me I'm always about.

 

[mBLACK]

Oopsie, should have read the entire thread before posting. Well either way, if you feel being with him is too difficult for you at this point in time, then why not have a break for awhile? Get a little air, relax a little.

 

[Novbaby08]

Thing is he abandoned me when I was 8 weeks and then last night he was claiming he wanted to be there, so far he has yet to really talk to me today, so if tomorrow comes and I haven't heard from him, then I 'm going to take it as he's not interested, either way I'm prepared to do this alone.