Hi Everyone

[Pixxie]

Hello all! This is my first post, joined the forum really for advice and support I suppose. So Im going to share my 'predicament' with you. Hopefully Im not the only one in a situation like this!

First Ill give you a bit of background since its my first post!

Im 18, 19 on May 24, my OH is 24 and we have been together 2 years on May 25. Me and my OH are perfect for each other, and want to spend our lives together. We have already spoke about getting married and having children. We have our own flat, getting a house soon!, and have lived together for most of our relationship. He has a good, well payed job and I am currently unemployed after a misunderstanding with my boss. I have been to college to do art and design and I want to be a tattooist and body piercer.

So recently Ive really been thinking about having a baby, Its something we both want but havnt spoke about when we want it. Its all come about after we had a 'scare' (I hate using that term but I cant think of another way to describe it!) a few months ago. My OH's reaction was not what I expected, I was expecting panic and him not to want to have a baby yet, but he was excited. Anyway I did a test and it was negative but I havnt been able to shake the broody-ness from me since.

After losing my job, at the tattoo studio I was working at, earlier this month I started to think about my long term plan. I spoke about it with my OH and he said he would like me to be a stay at home mum until out kids went to school (when we have them) which means my own studio will be off the agenda for quite a while.

So finally getting to the point Im thinking that maybe now would be the best time for us to have a baby. I could be very wrong, thats why Im asking for some advice! It seems to me that it would be perfect, I havnt yet told my OH how I feel but Ive told my best friend and she was very supportive once she realised I was serious! I dont know how to approach my OH with this at all, I know he was happy when he thought I might me pregnant last time but Im not sure how he will feel about actively TRYING for a baby.

Yes sorry for the rant everyone But I needed to get it off my chest. I will be very glad of any suggestions or advice

 

[jillypoop]

hi
welcome to BnB. There are lots of us here that are just as broody! My OH isn't ready so waiting for a couple of years until we are married and a bit better off financially. I'm hoping to be a stay at home mum once I have children, have been unemployed for a month and to be honest, if OH earned enough, it would work better as I keep the place tidy when I'm off, whereas OH doesn't understand why people tidy....
Also, I don't know anything about tattoo studios or anything but can't imagine it would be the best time to open one in the middle of a recession so maybe think about saving up for that until the recession is over?
At the end of the day, if you think you are ready to be a mummy then try, in my opinion there are always going to be things to stop you.

I would really talk to OH. It's really difficult but you'll feel so much better after you have got it off your chest

hope it goes well

xxx

 

[jen1604]

Hi honey.
It is ultimately up to you but I would say wait until you have a job to start TTC because babies cost a LOT of money and without that maternity pay you will struggle.Not saying you wont cope...Just my opinion.
Also like jillypoop said,I would talk to your OH too.
Random question--do you have any tattoos yourself?xx

 

[eclipse]

Hi there, welcome to BnB!!! As an almost tattoo artist myself, I'm a big fan of anyone who is working the field!!! Something to think about....can you maybe open your own studio? Maybe out of your house, word of mouth? I don't know what the laws are over there or if you wish to work in a more conventional studio for a few more years for the experience....
Are there other studios you could work at in your area? Did you have a set schedule or sort of free range? If you guys are ready, go for it, but you might be able to work for part of your pregnancy as well. As Jen said, babies are expensive and savings is good so you may want to wait just a bit to shore up for your future leave. Plus you are pretty young and your career is taking off so those are all things to consider.
Ok, shutting up now. Welcome

 

[Pixxie]

Thanks for your replies! Nice to hear actual advice off people instead of being told to stop being silly! I will have to talk to my OH, I just dont think ill be able to face him saying he doesnt want to...

I know babies cost a lot of money but how much do they cost realistically? Like on a monthly basis not just an intial cost cots and clothes etc.

Yes i do have some tattoos I have 2 atm. I have a big pixie at the top of my right thigh and underneath her I have a toadstool with 2 trippy snails. In the end Im going to make them into a trippy garden scene taking up most of my thigh.
x

 

[eclipse]

They cost A LOT. Diapers, wipes, never ending clothes because they grow like weeds, food, etc. I can't give you a number because every baby is different. I have a giant son so he is harder to gauge LOL The good thing is, you always seem to be able to find the money somewhere. It can get ugly, but you can find it. Plus things like consignment shops and hand-me-downs are the best things EVER!!!

I also have two tattoos, a chinese dragon on my ankle and a unicorn with wings on my shoulder--my two guardians from when I was little and would always have nightmares.

 

[jen1604]

You need to think about nappies which arent cheap.Wipes.Clothes.Also you need to think are you going to breast or formula feed..Baby milk is expensive xx

 

[Pixxie]

well my boyfriend has a really good job, hes a refrigeration engineer and we live comfortably at the minute in a 2 bed flat with our cat so I dont think the cost will be too much of a problem, any money I earn is extra bonuses. Im trying to get back into work at the minute so it will only be better when Im back in work. Only afterwards I will want to be a full time mum until school days! So we will be solely dependant on my OH. I suppose me getting a job would be good to make savings aswel though.

 

[jen1604]

Ahh whats your catty called?Sorry Im really sleep deprived today,sorry if I keep going off topic xx

 

[Pixxie]

lol no its fine hes called Hobbes (as in Calvin and Hobbes) hes a ginger tabby, he really is convinced hes a tiger and not a house cat ^-^

 

[jen1604]

Aww.I thought Calvin and Hobbes as soon as I saw the word Hobbes.
Anyway its good that youre in a great financial position.It seems like if your OH wants a baby then youve got no reason why you shouldnt TTC xx

 

[eclipse]

Yeah, I agree, hell, go for it!!!

 

[Pixxie]

Yea, I just dont want my OH to say no. I will be devastated. He does tend to be the sensible one though, he will probably give me terms and conditions knowing him I must think of how I will approach the subject carefully lol :S

 

[jen1604]

Yeah, I agree, hell, go for it!!!

^^ haha someone's excitable today!!!

Well I guess just find a good time to talk to your partner and make sure you have lots of good convincing points xx

 

[Pixxie]

Thank you all for your help I will convince him, I will!

 

[jen1604]

No worries.I hope you'll stay around WTT and make sure you let us know how it all goes?x

 

[eclipse]

hehe, I've had a bit of caffeine today....yes, let us know how it goes!

 

[Laura_44]

Hello all! This is my first post, joined the forum really for advice and support I suppose. So Im going to share my 'predicament' with you. Hopefully Im not the only one in a situation like this!

First Ill give you a bit of background since its my first post!

Im 18, 19 on May 24, my OH is 24 and we have been together 2 years on May 25. Me and my OH are perfect for each other, and want to spend our lives together. We have already spoke about getting married and having children. We have our own flat, getting a house soon!, and have lived together for most of our relationship. He has a good, well payed job and I am currently unemployed after a misunderstanding with my boss. I have been to college to do art and design and I want to be a tattooist and body piercer.

So recently Ive really been thinking about having a baby, Its something we both want but havnt spoke about when we want it. Its all come about after we had a 'scare' (I hate using that term but I cant think of another way to describe it!) a few months ago. My OH's reaction was not what I expected, I was expecting panic and him not to want to have a baby yet, but he was excited. Anyway I did a test and it was negative but I havnt been able to shake the broody-ness from me since.

After losing my job, at the tattoo studio I was working at, earlier this month I started to think about my long term plan. I spoke about it with my OH and he said he would like me to be a stay at home mum until out kids went to school (when we have them) which means my own studio will be off the agenda for quite a while.

So finally getting to the point Im thinking that maybe now would be the best time for us to have a baby. I could be very wrong, thats why Im asking for some advice! It seems to me that it would be perfect, I havnt yet told my OH how I feel but Ive told my best friend and she was very supportive once she realised I was serious! I dont know how to approach my OH with this at all, I know he was happy when he thought I might me pregnant last time but Im not sure how he will feel about actively TRYING for a baby.

Yes sorry for the rant everyone But I needed to get it off my chest. I will be very glad of any suggestions or advice

Hi Pixxie.

I can understand where you are coming from. I already have a son, who's just started school, I was a stay at home mum with him but went to night school. So when he started school, me and my Husband started to consider having another child but I kept changing my mind thinking that now would be the best time for me to go to uni etc but then I kept thinking well I don't want to be half way through my course or get a great job and then fall pregnant and have to leave it. So anyway we are TTC now and I feel we've made the right choice, i'm still only 24 and so I know that there will still be time for me to achieve what I want education and job wise. Like the other girls said talk to your OH and talk through all the Pros and Cons about having a baby right now. So if you decide to have a baby now, you're still young enough to do what you want with your career, it may just be a few years later than you initially thought. Some women do careers first and then babies, you'd just be doing it the opposite way around and there's nothing wrong with that, at the end of the days it's whatever suits you and OH the best Goodluck with whatever you decide