Hi I am a new at sharing please offer any support you can

[maidenkates]

Hello,
My husband and I have been TTC #2 for a year now and we finally went to see an RE. Through lots of tests and turmoil we found out that DH's hernia surgery last year gave him an involuntary vasectomy. They told us that the reversal surgery probably wouldn't work for him because the hernia was on both sides and our best option is IVF (we are not covered for IVF at all) when I talk to friends and family about considering IVF they tell me I should be grateful for the one I have, and believe me, I am. I guess I am just hoping to connect with some that can understand what I am going through.
Thank you so much for reading

 

[maidenkates]

Bump

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Hi Maidenkates

I'm just rushing out but I wanted you to know you are definitely not alone. I'm part of a fantastic thread with ladies all suffering from Secondary Infertility. Pop by and say hi .... https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/secondary-infertility/1982373-35-trying-2-19-months-am-alone.html

Hugs

(Sorry for such a rushed message but I didn't want to miss it!)

 

[maidenkates]

Thank you so much, don't worry about it being rushed, any reply makes me feel a bit less alone this has been a hard road of people telling me to just let it go, that some women would kill for one kid. I know that to be true, and hearing it makes me feel guilty. Anyways, thank you so much for responding and I will definitely check out the other thread xo

 

[Destiny08]

hi

sorry you're struggling...for all we know, DH is fine and I'm fine, but we've been TTC number 2 for almost 2 years now, with no luck.
we live in the UK, which has the NHS, but because we already have a child, they won't help us, and we can't afford IVF.

not knowing if we're fertile or not is so difficult. and while, like you, i know lots of people would kill for just one baby...it's so hard to give up on my dreams of having more children. especially now i know how it feels to have 1

i cant help, or offer any advice really! but hopefully it helps to know you're not alone

 

[maidenkates]

Thank you so much Destiny! I am so sorry to hear you are having problems too. I should be thankful we have an answer, unexplained would be devastating. IVF is so expensive it's crazy. I am in California, apparently only Google and government jobs cover it in these parts knowing I am not alone is huge! Seems like everyone I know is pregnant or already has #2, I am happy for them, but adds to the timeline, you know? Anyways.... Thank you again xo

 

[Destiny08]

oh i know! I'm looking into egg sharing lol. if i give up half my eggs to someone else, i get free IVF...genuinely contemplating it! even though the thought of other kids walking around that are mine but arent mine...is very weird. going to try other things first!

i have a friend who got pregnant the same cycle i started trying and now has a beautiful 14 month old. he's honestly wonderful. but just seeing him sometimes breaks my heart. then i have a friend who had her second baby today, and one who's due on the 19th of April.

it sucks. hopefully you'll be able to figure something out! might be worth seeing if egg sharing is a thing in the US?

 

[maidenkates]

I will ask my RE if egg sharing is a possibility. Would be nice to help other women and myself at the same time

I have a friend due in 5 weeks that started trying 6 months after us, so I feel you. I am very happy for them, they are good friends, but I want it too. I have another friend that got pregnant by accident, and I have to listen to her complain all the time, and I have a cousin that just got an abortion.... Those make me feel "WHY???" I am not the type of person that feels sorry for myself, so some of these emotions I do not fully understand

I am finding much comfort here, I can't express enough how lonely I was feeling before joining. I hope we get what we so desperately want. Better sooner than later