Hitting/spanking your kids..

[mBLACK]

The thread about a woman slapping her son got me thinking.. I was just wondering who is all planning to/doing this already. Personally I would never ever lay my hands on a child, you can't hit a child and expect them to think it's wrong, how can you possibly teach them that it's wrong when you're hitting them?

Not trying to start a huge debate, just what you're planning to do and why.

 

[leedsforever]

how weird lol??!?! me and my friends were talking about this tonight!!!

I personally think a slap on the hand to teach a child not to do something is fine!! Not sure how Ill feel when having to do it!!! I think the naughty step will work much better

 

[babymello]

The thread about a woman slapping her son got me thinking.. I was just wondering who is all planning to/doing this already. Personally I would never ever lay my hands on a child, you can't hit a child and expect them to think it's wrong, how can you possibly teach them that it's wrong when you're hitting them?

Not trying to start a huge debate, just what you're planning to do and why.

How were you disciplined as a child?

Did you get beatens?

Mello

 

[Sarah88]

I personally think a slap on the hand to teach a child not to do something is fine!! Not sure how Ill feel when having to do it!!! I think the naughty step will work much better

I agree with you totally. I was smacked every once in a while as a child, but I think that there are better ways to deal with children. And I want to teach my child to take responsibility for their actions.

 

[mBLACK]

How were you disciplined as a child?

Did you get beatens?

Mello

When I lived with my mother she used to hit us with all sorts of things, and I think no wonder I was always fighting other kids.
Eventually she lost custody of me and I came and lived with my grandmother, not once has she hit me or threatened to and in all honesty I'm a much happier person here, even if my mother only gave us a slap or two I find it as strongarming.

 

[brownhairedmom]

I won't physically punish my child, but let me tell you something...I would not hesitate to discipline them with grounding/taking toys away, naughty chair and lots of time out. I think people are scared to do anything to discipline their children at all, and thats why we have so many snotty, disrespectful kids running around.

I was never hit as a child but my parents never hestitated to take my TV out of my room or hide the keyboard from my computer lol.

 

[mBLACK]

I won't physically punish my child, but let me tell you something...I would not hesitate to discipline them with grounding/taking toys away, naughty chair and lots of time out. I think people are scared to do anything to discipline their children at all, and thats why we have so many snotty, disrespectful kids running around.

I was never hit as a child but my parents never hestitated to take my TV out of my room or hide the keyboard from my computer lol.

That's exactly what I'm planning on doing, and not allowing any treats at all (broccoli for breakki, lunch + diner), including no phone calls!

 

[Sarahkka]

I'm actually really torn on this one.
I absolutely agree that slapping or spanking can really send the wrong message, but I think there might be some occasions where it might be warranted.
I remember my younger brother went through this phase when he was 2.5 years where he would go for a walk out of the yard, down the street, and we'd find him blocks and blocks away.
My mum watched us like a hawk, so the fact that he managed to slip away still amazes me! Anyway, he did this once and our entire family was frantic looking for him - mum reported him missing to the police and everything. Luckily, we found him and he was fine. Mum sat him down and had a big talk with him about why what he did was wrong,etc.
Then she caught him trying to go for another walk again a few days later and again, stern reprimands, sent to his room, the whole bit.
A few days after that, he slipped away after dinner and once again, we were all frantically looking for him. He was found within minutes, even though he had already made it several blocks away (at that age, kids can move!). Mum gave him a sound spanking and he finally got the message.
He never did that again.
Was it justified? Maybe she should have stuck with the naughty step and time-outs, but this was behaviour that was putting my brother in danger and he wasn't listening until the spanking sent the message home.
I don't judge her for that. In fact, I'd be pretty tempted to do the same thing.
Several of my friends say that that's what they have saved any physical correction for: a serious message about dangerous behaviour (running into traffic, etc).
I think that might be the big difference, too. We got spanked for really serious things, not smacked around all the time. So a spanking was a big deal and it usually got results.
I don't advocate this for much besides the kinds of actions I've just described, but I think I'd want to be sure that my kid was safe and that can sometimes be a stern lesson.
But this is all theory for me. I wonder if I'll be able to use that kind of discipline when baby is out and finally a real little person to deal with?

 

[leedsforever]

I was smacked as a child too.... never did me any harm!!! As I said earlier me and my friends were discussing it and they all agreed that they got smacked too!!! It worked!!!

 

[kiwimama]

My OH & i are both agree we will spank (not hit) our kids on the bottom if anything they have done is serious enough. We were both spanked as children and have grown into respectful, hardworking members of society with strong moral values. I was probably spanked no more than a handful of times in my whole childhood and only on the bottom with an open hand. This will be the same with our kids. There has been major debate in NZ as last year a law was passed that made smacking illegal. Luckily there hasn't yet been an arrest of a good parent that has smacked their child, although there was a poor father who got accused of abuse after he smacked his son on the bottom in a public carpark when his son pushed his younger child onto the road infront of a car. Children are getting more and more disrespectful these days to the point where primary school aged students (5-10yrs) are assaulting teachers - physically and verbally etc. This was unheard of when I was a child in the early 90s. As long as everyones children grow up happy, healthy and respectful with strong morals, then you have chosen the right disapline method for you.

 

[ani]

Personally I would never hit or otherwise physically punish my child. My parents never did, either. I believe that it send the children the wrong message: that it's ok to use violence in some situations. I would find it hard to justify why it's ok for me to hit them but not for them to hit their friends, for example.

But I do realise that we come from different backgrounds and have different experiences in this. I happen to come from a family where all use of physical force against others was strongly discouraged, and also from a country where slapping (etc.) your child has long since been criminalised.

 

[babymello]

When I lived with my mother she used to hit us with all sorts of things, and I think no wonder I was always fighting other kids.
Eventually she lost custody of me and I came and lived with my grandmother, not once has she hit me or threatened to and in all honesty I'm a much happier person here, even if my mother only gave us a slap or two I find it as strongarming.

I got some beatens too back in the days, but I know not to do what my mom has done to me, to my baby.

You see now there's a difference between discipline and abuse.

What your mom did to you as stated above, was abuse. That is the consequence she had to face when you were taken away from her.

Discipline on the other hand is the practice of training to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience.

Without discipline, your child will be corrupt.

You have to discipline them and then show them what they have done wrong so they'll learn not to do it again.

Parents nowadays take out their frustration and beat their children with all kinds of things out of anger. They think they have done something right to teach their child a lesson, but instead their child ends up hating them and get more corrupted.

The reason why they're so many corrupt kids and teens in this generation, is because there's no discipline in the households. Parents allow there children to do whatever they want and they're more like friends than a parent. Their children is running things in the home.

Parents are scared, because the system of the world tell them they will go to jail if they discipline their child. Therefore, more and more children get corrupted and the system of the world has your children in their arms. which makes them go to jail or die early.

Discipline and Abusing your child is two different things.

I will discipline my child, not out of anger but in love, and she will know why she got disciplined and thank me for it later.

Mello

 

[Carley]

how weird lol??!?! me and my friends were talking about this tonight!!!

I personally think a slap on the hand to teach a child not to do something is fine!! Not sure how Ill feel when having to do it!!! I think the naughty step will work much better

My soon to be 3 year old laughs at the naughty chair, we've tried many different styles of punishment and none of them work. We smack her hand and sometimes her bottom, but just so she can feel it.

For us it's the only thing that works....

 

[Carley]

I got some beatens too back in the days, but I know not to do what my mom has done to me, to my baby.

You see now there's a difference between discipline and abuse.

What your mom did to you as stated above, was abuse. That is the consequence she had to face when you were taken away from her.

Discipline on the other hand is the practice of training to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience.

Without discipline, your child will be corrupt.

You have to discipline them and then show them what they have done wrong so they'll learn not to do it again.

Parents nowadays take out their frustration and beat their children with all kinds of things out of anger. They think they have done something right to teach their child a lesson, but instead their child ends up hating them and get more corrupted.

The reason why they're so many corrupt kids and teens in this generation, is because there's no discipline in the households. Parents allow there children to do whatever they want and they're more like friends than a parent. Their children is running things in the home.

Parents are scared, because the system of the world tell them they will go to jail if they discipline their child. Therefore, more and more children get corrupted and the system of the world has your children in their arms. which makes them go to jail or die early.

Discipline and Abusing your child is two different things.

I will discipline my child, not out of anger but in love, and she will know why she got disciplined and thank me for it later.

Mello

Thank you, thank you, thank you, I agree 100%. You said it perfectly!!!!!!

The left hand for punishment the right hand for love! We punish them because we love them...

 

[Sarah88]

The left hand for punishment the right hand for love! We punish them because we love them...

What does this mean exactly? I've never heard of it before.

 

[Carley]

What does this mean exactly? I've never heard of it before.

My friend is Jewish and that's what they believe. The left is for punishment, because we punish because we want them to learn right from wrong. Whatever you use as punishment (spanking, time out, removing them from situation, taking items/events away etc. They believe it's our job to teach them right from wrong.

The right hand is for to love, to teach, and so on

 

[Carley]

That is the nature of children. We must make every possible effort. Sometimes the right hand must push away while the left hand draws closer. And sometimes we must draw them near with both hands” (Kovetz Igros 1,81).

 

[Sarah88]

oh ok fair enough. Never heard of that before, mind you im not jewish, and not a fan of religion anyway.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

i was smacked as a child either a really light tap on the hand or if id been really naughty on my bum lol. it never did me and harm and im not a violent person now. i dont think ill personally smack my child now though as i think the naughty step seems to work for my nieces and nephews but im dont think smacking is actually worng as long as you dont mark or go over the top with it. i mean smack by a lil tap on the hand not a smack that leaves a realy nasty red mark or something.
xx

 

[oOKayOo]

I got some beatens too back in the days, but I know not to do what my mom has done to me, to my baby.

You see now there's a difference between discipline and abuse.

What your mom did to you as stated above, was abuse. That is the consequence she had to face when you were taken away from her.

Discipline on the other hand is the practice of training to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience.

Without discipline, your child will be corrupt.

You have to discipline them and then show them what they have done wrong so they'll learn not to do it again.

Parents nowadays take out their frustration and beat their children with all kinds of things out of anger. They think they have done something right to teach their child a lesson, but instead their child ends up hating them and get more corrupted.

The reason why they're so many corrupt kids and teens in this generation, is because there's no discipline in the households. Parents allow there children to do whatever they want and they're more like friends than a parent. Their children is running things in the home.

Parents are scared, because the system of the world tell them they will go to jail if they discipline their child. Therefore, more and more children get corrupted and the system of the world has your children in their arms. which makes them go to jail or die early.

Discipline and Abusing your child is two different things.

I will discipline my child, not out of anger but in love, and she will know why she got disciplined and thank me for it later.

Mello

Couldnt of said it better,

I *spank* my child when she has been naughty and i have told her to do something over 3 times and she shouts back at me , a small spank on the bum and sent to her room works wonders. She aploigises and comes for hugs and says sorry. We have tried the naughty chair and all of that nonsense but IT DOESNT WORK seriosly i havent heard of one person where is works without yelling at them some more for moving off the "step/chair". ( to those that it does work for you i appluad you.)

Its not abusing my child and teaching her wrong from right , my mum did the same to me and i i grew up knowing wrong from right and not push her, where as my brother wasnt spanked and guess what! He is violent, constanly in trouble with the police, been so close to going to jail, has god knows how many asbos and was kicked out of the country or sent to juvi. He was 15 and now 18... Hasnt changed.

I believe that a little spank ( i dont mean a huge smack ) on the bum or hand depending if she has touched something she shouldnt is fine. My daughter is well behaved an i get ALOT of compliments about how well she behaves.

But this is my Opioion and the way things work in my house hold. But i would just like to say its in no way abusing her..