Home Birth after a few hospital Births, advice?

[tinkerbelle2]

Hope its ok to post here, as I tend to read more then post.

Anyway, I have my heart set on a home birth, I have had more then 3 children, and so am getting pushed into going into hospital by midwives and doctors, every week I am getting a appointment letter asking me to go and see a obstetrician, every week I cancel.
I have asked why I need to see someone to be told, they need to discuss the risks of home birth and advise me on why hospital birth is best when I have already had so many children, apparently my BMI is a risk to (29)
I saw my midwife a few days ago and all she could go on about was the risks and how I need to be prepared to go to hospital after delivery (and this was a home birthing midwife!!)

I want a home birth for many reasons, some being, this is our last child, I want to experience this in a positive manner etc
We have our other children to think about and have little child care, we have people who can come to our home when I am in labour to help, but they can't babysit (time of day depending) which would mean going into hospital I would be alone as DH would need to stay at home
I don't feel comfortable in hospital and getting home after would be hard, the list is endless

I know if when delivery happens if there is a emergency, of course I wouldn't hesitate, if baby is at risk or I have a 2nd degree tear, Ill go in,
but right now I don't want to focus on negatives, as its starting to make me feel what's the point

My questions really are :

has anyone had lots of children but gone on to have a homebirth with no problems

If I just had a simple tear could I stay home, what stage of tearing would result in needing a hospital visit

Am I being selfish in wanting a homebirth for some of the reasons written, but as said there are many many more

I am starting to feel under pressure and I don't like it
DH is being really supportive of my choice thankfully, but has asked I seek others who have had a few children and a natural home birth

 

[sept2010]

I havent had my homebirth yet...but a family member has 4 children..last 3 were all.born at home ..normal deliveries...but she has a normal bmi...also my mw says it regards to tears they can usually deal with them at home. I think it has to.be a pretty nasty.tear for you to have to go to hospital for stitches...
Do they class you as a high risk pregnancy because of your weight? Or are you under.midwifery led care? If you are under mlc...there should be no reason why you cant have a homebirth as its just like using a birth centre ..i.e. the same facilities available but the walls are your own...lol thats how my homebirth mw described it.

 

[MindUtopia]

I think you sound like a perfect candidate for home birth!

Actually usually the more experience you've had with birth, the more supportive midwives are of home birth and usually the easier birth will be for you. Sometimes they do get more nervous if you have a history of complications (something that repeats itself with each pregnancy or birth) or if you've had a previous c-section, but even that doesn't mean home birth isn't a great option for you (you might just need to make plans for if any of those issues pops up with this birth). The fact you know what to expect and are likely to have a relatively quick labour means home birth is probably safer than hospital birth. Typically, it's for 2nd and future babies where home birth is recommended. They more often advise against it for first babies (but I had my first at home!).

Your BMI is totally fine and shouldn't even be raised as a risk. I had a BMI of 29 myself and I was deemed low risk. Usually it's only with a BMI of over 35 that you may have some additional risks, but even those won't prevent you from planning a home birth. A BMI of 29, while slightly overweight, shouldn't even be something you have to discuss with a midwife or consultant as it falls within the 'healthy' weight range when it comes to birth.

If you have a minor tear (1st or 2nd degree), they can take care of any stitches right there at home or you can opt to not have it stitched at all if you wish. I had a 2nd degree tear and the midwives did the stitches while I laid on my bed with my baby and husband. If you had a more serious tear (highly unlikely when you've had 3+ babies), you would need to go into hospital to have it stitched up in theatre, but that's very likely so I wouldn't even worry about it.

As for being selfish, no, you're choosing what feels like the best birth for you and your baby. The midwives/consultants can't tell you want you can and can't do. Your body, your baby, your choice. They will advise you of the risks because they have to. But they have to do that with everything. If you get an epidural or have a c-section, they are also supposed to go over the risks and make you sign off that you understand them. It's just normal protocol and you shouldn't feel like it's any judgement of you or your choices (even though I know it often isn't delivered like that, some midwives CAN sound really judgy when they talk about it with you). But it's just what they have to do to protect themselves. If you want a home birth, all you have to do is tell them that's what you plan to do. They don't need to give you permission and they are required to attend on the day and provide you with the care you need.

Home birth was the best choice we could have made and when I hear friends with babies the same age as mine talk about their birth experiences, I couldn't be more thankful that we chose to be at home. It was wonderful.

Is there a home birth group in your area? You might do a search online or ask your midwife. I found going to a few meetings of my local home birth group and meeting other women who'd had home births really helped.

 

[Ichisan]

This is my 3rd baby but hopefully 1st homebirth. My BMI is higher than yours (33) but my midwife is absolutely fine with it and I'm down as low risk. Many of the reasons you have written are the same as mine and seem to be fairly common ones. Maybe write out a list of questions you want clarification on and make an appointment with your midwife to get some clear answers. Don't be afraid to question the advice if it sounds wrong to you

 

[aliss]

The only regret I had was that I bothered with the hospitals before! It was great!