Home Birth V's Hospital Birth

[Dimbo]

Hope this is the best place to ask this. I imagine ladies in here have done the homework to know the answer to my questions

At first I wanted a home birth. I still do actually, but after much discussion and soul searching, I have decided for my first a hospital would be better all round. My husband doesn't do anything bodily very well, and I don't want to put pressure on him. I think he'd feel much calmer if we were in hospital, surrounded by doctors and emergency procedures.

However, I don't understand the length of care afterwards. As in, with a home birth, 2 midwives are there and if everything is straight forward they tidy up, make sure everything is hunky dory, and a few hours after birth you are left alone. Sounds like bliss to me! However, my hospital requires you to stay in 24 hours for your first. How can that be that you are left alone after a few hours if you are at home, but you have to stay in 24 hours if your in hospital? My notes say if it's a second baby then 6-8 hour discharge.

The cynic in me wonders if it's just a case of the hospital doesn't want to be sued if they let you out sooner/before the doctor sees you and signs you/baby off and then something goes wrong? In which case, how is that different from if they leave you at home and something is missed?

I know after all this, and me having my ideas set against a 24 hour stay in hospital, I'll end up having to stay in there for some reason or another, which is fine, I'll play it by ear, but if everything is fine, do I have an option?

Thanks for any advice anyone can give

 

[lozzy21]

They cant make you stay in hospital so im sure that if you tell them as long as they are no problems you will be leaving after 6-8 hours there is nothing they can do

 

[Rmar]

If you are both healthy and feeling ready to go home, they can't make you stay there. You can birth where you feel most comfortable and if after the birth, you don't feel comfortable anymore, then why keep yourself in that kind of situation.

Oh, and you said that your OH would feel more comfortable in a hospital but where would you feel more comfortable? Maybe it is just the way I am reading it but it seems like you wouldn't be comfortable there at all.

Your husband might suprise you during the birth and be one of those people who have always been afraid of blood but breeze through being an amazing birth supporter. It kind of brings out the primal being in most. It amazes me how many OH's think they will be no help because they don't think they will be good around the blood but hardly notice it when it comes around to it.

 

[MumOfPlenty]

I know that in hospital they have a discharge of 4-8 hours (depending on which hospital it is) as there are checks they like to do with baby to ensure eveything is fine. After that, you're generally allowed to go home, first baby or no.

It depends I think - with my first I didn't get to leave 'til gone 4pm after kicking up a right stink, bearing in mind my son was born at 4.50am. :Wacko:

With your first (it's been 11 years since I had my first!) they used to come round and show you how to bath them and get you a little bit more comfortable handling bubs, changing nappies, help you with breastfeeding etc.. I don't know if they still do this, but presumably if they want you to stay in for 24 hours then this is what that would be for.. That and the chance to do all the paperwork!

When I had my other son in a homebirth situation, the midwives left after about 2 hours.. One of them even helped me to get in the bath and pee as my son had scratched all my bits up on the way out! She came back later that day to perform the necessary checks on me and baby, then it was into the usual routine of seeing the midwife for 11 days after..

Just remember with a hospital. There are checks they need to do on baby - I think it is 4-6 hours after birth, to ensure babys safety and wellbeing. If I was you I would expect (depending on whether or not you have an epidural) to be leaving the hospital around 6-8 hours after birth - if this is something you insist on, they can't keep you in any longer once the necessary checks have been performed and bubs is well. There is no way of forcibly keeping you on the ward, so just let them know in advance.

My last baby I had him at 8.23am and didn't get to leave 'til 4pm.. I did tell them that I would be leaving as soon as I could and they were fine with this.. Everything had been done, baby was fine etc, but they hadn't done the paperwork. It was only because I kept bugging them to do it, that it got done when it did - But that was a very very busy hospital, there must have been 30 of us on the ward, minimum, all with new babies - They were working their socks off!

So expect to be delayed a little while, but let them know what you intend to do an I'm sure they'll work with you to try and help you get gone as soon as you can

 

[Pops]

I have half an email typed up to you toots about all sorts anyway (you and Boofs have been sat in my "Draft" box for ages ) so I will pop my thoughts in there and send it later

xxx

 

[Dimbo]

If you are both healthy and feeling ready to go home, they can't make you stay there. You can birth where you feel most comfortable and if after the birth, you don't feel comfortable anymore, then why keep yourself in that kind of situation.

Oh, and you said that your OH would feel more comfortable in a hospital but where would you feel more comfortable? Maybe it is just the way I am reading it but it seems like you wouldn't be comfortable there at all.

Your husband might suprise you during the birth and be one of those people who have always been afraid of blood but breeze through being an amazing birth supporter. It kind of brings out the primal being in most. It amazes me how many OH's think they will be no help because they don't think they will be good around the blood but hardly notice it when it comes around to it.

I wouldn't say I am uncomfortable with hospital, I'm just much more comfortable at home, which I suppose is usual. The only bonus' to me about hospital is help is there quicker if needs be (I live about 5-10 minutes from the hospital) and Dh would feel more comfortable being there because of that. It's not even so much having her in hospital, it's afterwards. I don't want to be stuck on a ward where DH has to go home in the middle of the day, and at night. I also like my privacy, so as soon as I'm turfed out the delivery suit and onto labour ward, I won't be happy. I don't mind socialising, don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mind that part of it, it's just I like my privacy and to be able to have quiet when I want, and to use a toilet I know is only me and my family/friends have used. Fussy I think I'd describe myself as And why should Daddy have to go home at night and not allowed back til morning? I can see why they do have these rules, I just don't particularly like them.

I know that in hospital they have a discharge of 4-8 hours (depending on which hospital it is) as there are checks they like to do with baby to ensure eveything is fine. After that, you're generally allowed to go home, first baby or no.

It depends I think - with my first I didn't get to leave 'til gone 4pm after kicking up a right stink, bearing in mind my son was born at 4.50am. :Wacko:

With your first (it's been 11 years since I had my first!) they used to come round and show you how to bath them and get you a little bit more comfortable handling bubs, changing nappies, help you with breastfeeding etc.. I don't know if they still do this, but presumably if they want you to stay in for 24 hours then this is what that would be for.. That and the chance to do all the paperwork!

When I had my other son in a homebirth situation, the midwives left after about 2 hours.. One of them even helped me to get in the bath and pee as my son had scratched all my bits up on the way out! She came back later that day to perform the necessary checks on me and baby, then it was into the usual routine of seeing the midwife for 11 days after..

Just remember with a hospital. There are checks they need to do on baby - I think it is 4-6 hours after birth, to ensure babys safety and wellbeing. If I was you I would expect (depending on whether or not you have an epidural) to be leaving the hospital around 6-8 hours after birth - if this is something you insist on, they can't keep you in any longer once the necessary checks have been performed and bubs is well. There is no way of forcibly keeping you on the ward, so just let them know in advance.

My last baby I had him at 8.23am and didn't get to leave 'til 4pm.. I did tell them that I would be leaving as soon as I could and they were fine with this.. Everything had been done, baby was fine etc, but they hadn't done the paperwork. It was only because I kept bugging them to do it, that it got done when it did - But that was a very very busy hospital, there must have been 30 of us on the ward, minimum, all with new babies - They were working their socks off!

So expect to be delayed a little while, but let them know what you intend to do an I'm sure they'll work with you to try and help you get gone as soon as you can

I understand that it also depends on the time she's born, and to an extent how exhausted I am. And I suppose I can't plan for every eventuality, but I'm thinking if we're both well and I feel ok I want to do what I want to do.

It's nice to know that actually, telling them what I would like as I go in, is a good plan and therefore I am more likely to get out sooner. It's nice to know it's not set in stone (which I wouldn't have known if it hadn't been for your girls, thanks )

I also feel like I am more researched and I know what kind of things I want to ask the midwife when I see her now.

Thanks again

 

[alio]

i had my last son in hospital and i thought the post natal part was the worst bit tbh. they said my son's temp was a degree down and that i had to stay in until he had 'proved' himself. after a very long induction i was sore both physically and emotionally and just wanted to be at home. they also made me stay in until i had 'proven' i could successfully breastfeed which in part led to me formula feeding because i wanted to be back in the comfort of my own home.

this time aroundd i have decided on giving birth at the same hosp labour and delivery suite (whether induced or not - still to be decided). however, i won't be so naive as to believe everything they tell me. i'm no fool this time around and if i want to self discharge i certainly will be doing. x

 

[Celesse]

I stayed in the high needs post natal ward until day 3, then came back into the low needs post natal ward with breast feeding probs and wieght loss in the baby on day 5 til day 8.

It took us until day 2 to get LO bathed, with OH watching. If all had gone well and I'd been at home I would have shown him at home, but having had a section bending over wasn't on the list of things I could manage. The staff where just very stretched and didn't have time for non essential tasks.

I think part of the reason we where readmitted is because the low staffing levels and lack of support with breastfeeding. No one had time to explain that I needed to keep using the breast pump even if nothing came out as LO wasn't latching and stimulating the breast herself. They just dumped a breast pump at my bed, showed me how to use it and that was that.

When we went back in we needed the support, which we did get to a point. We had specialists come and give us advice, feel my boobs and people on hand in the middle of the night who knew about breastfeeding. However not all where that useful and I did threaten to self discharge, then told them exactly what my plan was and that they would support it.

And on the second admission they put me in a 4 bed bay with lots of normal women coming in and going home. I thought what a slap in the face. Here where women who had nice normal births and could have stayed at home choosing to come in, and then me....who really wanted a home birth but had to come in to save my babies life. One woman had chosen to formula feed from the start.....and they put her opposite me when I am really really struggling to feed her.

So when it comes to post natal wards, if you need to be in then you need to be....otherwise avoid.

 

[Dimbo]

Celesse You really went through it all

It sounds like your hospital need extra staff, even when you had to go back in it didn't sound like they gave you the support you needed

If you don't mind though, I'll remember your post and learn from it. To be honest, you are not the first person to say they had little help from staff in the hospital. It makes me think that I learn a whole lot more on here than I would in there!

I hope you and your little one are better now, and that your horrible stay hasn't affected you. It does sound like you are quite strong willed, which is a good thing

 

[Drazic<3]

hun,

I am not sure about discharge, but we have made the same decision to go to the hospital. Whilst we feel it isn't best for us, we do feel it's best for baby (distance from hospital, ect). However, I really feel that hospital birth doesn't mean you won't be having a beautiful experience. Take home comforts with you, practice hypnobirthing (if you are using it) and being with your loved one will make it wonderful, regardless of the setting. Being at hospital doesn't mean it can't be natural. If you don't want to do something, you are well within your rights to say so, and if you want to leave you can tell them that. Ask them to explain the reasons why they suggest you don't, and if you disagree, discharge yourself.

Sorry, that's all a bit random! Just wanted to say I understand, and agree

 

[Dimbo]

hun,

I am not sure about discharge, but we have made the same decision to go to the hospital. Whilst we feel it isn't best for us, we do feel it's best for baby (distance from hospital, ect). However, I really feel that hospital birth doesn't mean you won't be having a beautiful experience. Take home comforts with you, practice hypnobirthing (if you are using it) and being with your loved one will make it wonderful, regardless of the setting. Being at hospital doesn't mean it can't be natural. If you don't want to do something, you are well within your rights to say so, and if you want to leave you can tell them that. Ask them to explain the reasons why they suggest you don't, and if you disagree, discharge yourself.

Sorry, that's all a bit random! Just wanted to say I understand, and agree

Not random at all, true and very much appreciated