Homeowner v Renting, what are people doing?

[Mrs P5515]

This may be a slightly random post but I'm curious after a rather long debate today with my OH. We are currently in rented accommodation which is where we plan to stay if and when baby comes along. We have a very understanding landlord as it's my mum so have no worries in terms of our accommodation, but we keep returning to the debate of whether it's best to save a deposit and buy a house before having children (this will mean we are quite a bit older at this point) or continue to rent?

Anyone else out there having these conversations at the WTTC point? Or have you been able to settle the debate, and if so how?

Thanking you in advance

 

[y3llow]

Hello!

We have our own house now but a couple of years ago we were renting off my parents. To be honest there is more financial pressure now that we own a house than before, when we were saving. Before it was my parents (as landlords) paying for upkeep, whereas now that falls on us of course. I don't think it matters at all if you are still renting, and it's an even better situation when you are renting from family

I can see the downside of trying to save for a deposit when you have a family to support but to be honest, for us, we're still having to save as much as possible for the unforeseen things (e.g. the hot water cylinder needs replacing). In my mind it's six of one, half a dozen of the other!

 

[MindUtopia]

We rent and it really wasn't an issue at all in terms of TTC. We rented before we got pregnant and our daughter is now 2.5. We don't plan to buy a house for a few more years. In our case, the choice to rent is simply because we don't want to buy before we know we'll be staying in one area longterm. At the moment, my work means we'll move in about 2 years to live somewhere we plan to stay more permanently. We didn't want to invest in a property until we were sure about where work would take us. Also, until that time I technically work for a U.S. university and get paid there (into a U.S. account) and my husband had recently started a new business, all things that make getting a mortgage more complicated and expensive. So it just wasn't really a good investment for us and we're happy to rent. I do know a lot of people who believe they have to own a house before they get married or before they have a baby, but it just wasn't a big deal for us. I'm glad we made that decision and it's worked out well for us. If we had waited until I was ready to move on to another job and live somewhere more permanently, we would have been waiting until I was 37! So that just seemed silly. We've also not found it difficult to save money now that we're parents (we live pretty modestly anyway, our income is higher now than it was a few years ago, and we've graciously received a bit of inheritance from a family member who passed away, all of which has helped increase the deposit we have set aside).

 

[callmedan]

me and my oh have just bought in April and stating TTC in August, i think its just whats right for you and it sounds like you have a good set up with your mum being your landlord x

 

[SarahDiane]

My OH and I have decided to buy a house before we TTC. We are currently renting and he was really against having a baby while still renting. I wouldn't have cared either way but now that we are set on buying a home I'm happy with this decision. It has pushed TTC back a little bit, but honestly not that much and I like the idea of not being surrounded by a bunch of people living right next to us. Plus, our monthly mortgage cost will be cheaper than our current monthly rent.

 

[Mrs P5515]

Thanks ladies, all very helpful!

This currently feels like such a dilemma for us. I know my 'perfect' scenario would be for me and OH to have our own home and know and feel it's all ours in prep for that much anticipated nesting. We've lived in our current home together for 8 years and although we've renovated to gain more space and decorated throughout to our own taste ultimately it's still my mums. I don't mean that to sound ungrateful I know we are extremely lucky to be able to live where we do and have the safety of having mum as a landlady but I do long for our first home.

Writing this, I can recognise that I'm wanting it all marriage/house and baby. I don't mean to sound spoilt, since getting married it all of a sudden feels like we need to get things together. We have recently had several meeting with mortgage advisors and other than saving our deposit we have the green light. Deposit however is our issue. We've recently got married and having had our dream wedding our savings have been depleted and I think realistically it would take us between 18 months - 2 years to save a decent deposit and still be able to live to a reasonable standard and to balance alongside this I have a rare medical condition and after undergoing 2 lots of radiotherapy I have finally been given the go ahead by my doctor with a warning that we need to get TTC ASAP. Ultimately having a family is far more important to us than our own home but part of me feels like although we haven't started our parenting journey yet, were already not providing what we should. I don't mean to offend anyone with that comment I just always had such a fixed vision of how things would be and this is going against that and it feels really hard.

I guess it's not perfect but it's our journey.

 

[SGP517]

We own our house. Where we live it is about the same to rent vs. Own. We thought it would be best long term to own. Now we are planning on doing an addition to make room for more babies. It is a tough choice.

 

[vtasorl88]

We currently rent and will continue to do so after we have a baby. It does not make financial sense for us to buy a home when we plan to move to a new state in 2017 for my husbands job.

 

[maryp0ppins]

we bought a place last August.
my dh would not even consider TTC until we owned a place and we were married, for him it was important.
I would have had a baby whilst renting and unmarried!
its totally up to you, lots of children grow up in rented accommodation

 

[xstitcher87]

Renting - definitely, we don't care, we'll have plenty of time to buy, why wait.

 

[krissie328]

When I got pregnant we were renting. It was a crappy house and I am pretty sure had some health concerns. However, before I had DS we moved into a nicer rental. I had no problems with renting. However, I really wanted to own so we bought last April. I must say I wish we had kept renting. Like a pp mentioned now the financial burden of upkeep is on us.

Personally, I would keep renting from your mom. It sounds like you have a lot of freedom and have made a nice home for yourselves. If it was a matter of outgrowing it if baby were to come then I would consider buying.

 

[Mrs P5515]

When I got pregnant we were renting. It was a crappy house and I am pretty sure had some health concerns. However, before I had DS we moved into a nicer rental. I had no problems with renting. However, I really wanted to own so we bought last April. I must say I wish we had kept renting. Like a pp mentioned now the financial burden of upkeep is on us.

Personally, I would keep renting from your mom. It sounds like you have a lot of freedom and have made a nice home for yourselves. If it was a matter of outgrowing it if baby were to come then I would consider buying.

Thanks Krissie, super helpful to hear from people who have been there and done it xx

 

[TwilightAgain]

We definitely want to buy before we ttc. There is nothing more frustrating than throwing money down the drain every month, I imagine it to be quite hard to save whilst having a child's financial needs plus rent to take care of too.

 

[sherwood]

We bought our first house last December. It was a key item on our "to do" list before starting a family.

For us, a mortgage is much cheaper than renting. It's also reassuring to be on the property ladder, as I think it would have been harder to save a decent deposit or get as good a mortgage if we had a baby, as it'll likely mean that my husband will only be working part time.

Buying a house has also meant that we've learned a lot of new skills through DIY, which is helping us to grow into the kind of parents we want to be: the kind who can fix any problem!

 

[Wnt2beAMom]

I felt the same way as you a couple years ago when we got married. We wanted to buy before baby was born but ended up DS was 2 months old when we moved. I can say I really enjoy having my own place and not paying someone else's mortgage. I almost wish we had bought sooner and waited longer to TTC because there are so many Reno's I want to get done but can't with looking after DS and less income because of being off work.
But if the Dr thinks you have a short window of TTC opportunity I wouldnt worry about waiting just so you can buy especially when your landlord is your mom!

 

[vtasorl88]

I really dislike when people say they are throwing money down the drain every month because they rent. You are paying for a roof over your head, so I'd say that's not really dumping money. My sister has owned a house for a little over 12 years and recently sold it. I can assure you she dumped more money down the drain in that home then she ever did renting and she won't get a penny back. Real estate is not what it once was, especially in my area.

 

[krissie328]

I really dislike when people say they are throwing money down the drain every month because they rent. You are paying for a roof over your head, so I'd say that's not really dumping money. My sister has owned a house for a little over 12 years and recently sold it. I can assure you she dumped more money down the drain in that home then she ever did renting and she won't get a penny back. Real estate is not what it once was, especially in my area.

I completely agree!! We pay a lot more a month now due to insurance and taxes that we will never see back. Not to mention at a low interest rate we still are paying a ton in interest. Even with those we have had to a few updates and that is likely money we won't get back fully. If we sell I will be hesitant to buy again.

 

[Hermione394]

We are hoping to buy before we birth a baby, but we will probably be TTC before we move. If push came to shove, we could have a baby where we are living now; and we aren't entirely sure if we are going to be able to buy next year anyway. It's not an end-all-be-all for us though, because if we don't buy in the next year or two, we won't be buying for 8-10 years from now; mainly because we are living here for that time for the current 4, but once they are older we aren't sure if we are going to move elsewhere or not. We wouldn't want to buy a house, then just live there for 4-5 years.

 

[TwilightAgain]

I really dislike when people say they are throwing money down the drain every month because they rent. You are paying for a roof over your head, so I'd say that's not really dumping money. My sister has owned a house for a little over 12 years and recently sold it. I can assure you she dumped more money down the drain in that home then she ever did renting and she won't get a penny back. Real estate is not what it once was, especially in my area.

I'm entitled to my opinion

To me, I am throwing money away every month. Yes I may be paying for a roof over my head, but if I had a mortgage then that money would also be paying for a roof over my head AND i'd get a return on it when I sell the house.

I'm not sure how it works where you are but here you get a lot more for your money paying a mortgage as opposed to renting. We could be in a house but instead with renting we can only afford a flat. And on top of that, you can't make any changes such as renovations or painting. Each to their own but in the UK it's a million times better to buy in my opinion because your home is never really your own because you've always got to ask for permission to do anything first.

 

[babydustcass]

We've rented through 2 births and babies and now finally at the stage where we are embarking on buying our first owed home. Through renting we have found that A LOT of upkeep is required when you own your own home, and our landlords have had to replace fences, boilers, fix pipes, fix leaks all things over the years. We've put it off for years longer than we needed to in order to keep up with our lifestyles but now getting frustrated with not being able to use/ change spaces, decorate and renovate to add value.
We've enjoyed our time renting, its given us a bit of flexibility in that we have been able to move easily when we have outgrown them with minimal costs involved. BUT i can say, we are very excited to now be moving onto the next step of our journey with our kids in tow to be excited with us!