SoBroody91
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Honest and unbiased opinion needed :(
- Thread starter SoBroody91
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Of course dear I could relate to your situation which was of mine for about 3 yrs before.
But indeed carrying the baby and growing up one requires hell lot of your energy, patience and positive atomosphere. Before you are going to plan the baby make sure you are capable enough to provide the right kind of energy in your environment.
Obviuos you need not to deal with your fear alone. Talk to your partner, be on a vacation and while you both are in right mood discuss the matter, your fear, his concern.
I am sure you will be able to arrive in a decision.
But do not delay too much on this as while you will be prepared in later part of your life, your body may not support you rightly.
But indeed carrying the baby and growing up one requires hell lot of your energy, patience and positive atomosphere. Before you are going to plan the baby make sure you are capable enough to provide the right kind of energy in your environment.
Obviuos you need not to deal with your fear alone. Talk to your partner, be on a vacation and while you both are in right mood discuss the matter, your fear, his concern.
I am sure you will be able to arrive in a decision.
But do not delay too much on this as while you will be prepared in later part of your life, your body may not support you rightly.
ds0910
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Well I can give you an opinion from the other side. I am the one in the relationship that has depression and anxiety disorders. Mine is managed by medication, therapy never helped me. IMO you definitely need to have a talk with your oh. It sounds like he is doing the " if I had THIS I would be happy ". Yes having my son has helped my depression and given me a reason to fight harder against it, but my condition was a concern for me before and during pregnancy and not an answer, it was just a pleasant surprise that it did in fact help. There is potential that it COULD make his depression worse he is expecting having a baby to make it all better and it turns out it doesn't, it could add even more of the hopeless feeling of depression. Not to mention that's a lot of pressure for a child. IMO this is something that needs to be thought and talked through before jumping into it. On the bright side, depressed people become GREAT parents every day. Just make sure the two of you are creating a life for the right reason.
Amalee
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If I were you, I would want to talk to him. Depression is a serious condition, and no one should have to just stick it out and hope it gets better. There are so many resources available, I just don't see any reason not to try to address the issue.
When I look at having children, I view that as a stressor in life. It's a happy stressor, but a stressor nonetheless, and it's one that stays with you for a very long time. Stressors require attention, adapting your life, and some really difficult situations. When I consider any stressors that are coming up in my life, I try to have as few major ones to handle at once. I think depression is another stressor. It might not be a major issue for him right now, he might be able to manage everything in his life very well. However, it's really hard to predict how any person will adapt to adding a new stressor on top of that, even if it's something happy and exciting, and even if they have months to prepare. It's still a major change that takes a lot of physical, mental, and emotional energy.
In my opinion, his depression seems like something that can be dealt with now, instead of waiting to see how he will be affected by future events. Obviously it's totally your call, but if I were you, I would want to talk to him and encourage him to talk to a doctor to see if he can find a medication or therapy that helps.
When I look at having children, I view that as a stressor in life. It's a happy stressor, but a stressor nonetheless, and it's one that stays with you for a very long time. Stressors require attention, adapting your life, and some really difficult situations. When I consider any stressors that are coming up in my life, I try to have as few major ones to handle at once. I think depression is another stressor. It might not be a major issue for him right now, he might be able to manage everything in his life very well. However, it's really hard to predict how any person will adapt to adding a new stressor on top of that, even if it's something happy and exciting, and even if they have months to prepare. It's still a major change that takes a lot of physical, mental, and emotional energy.
In my opinion, his depression seems like something that can be dealt with now, instead of waiting to see how he will be affected by future events. Obviously it's totally your call, but if I were you, I would want to talk to him and encourage him to talk to a doctor to see if he can find a medication or therapy that helps.
Angelbaby_01
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I would suggest you and your husband talks about it first. My mom suffered with depression from even before I was born and that had a huge impact on our relationship in a negative way. It's not something I would take lightly and really think he should see someone for medication first maybe? For some it can help, but there are chances that it will not and would only make things worse and regretful feelings can be pass down for generations. Babies can't fix a problem. It would be great though if you can sort it ou and him getting better before a baby arrives.
Xxx
Xxx
lozzy21
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I think your OH needs to see his GP about his depression and get that sorted before you think about trying. Having a child is amazing and does give you reason to go on but I don't think that you should give him a child just so he can get it. Band-aid baby's rarely fix the problems they were ment to solve. As previous as they are baby's show the cracks in every relationship. If the cracks are only small they can help cement them over but if the cracks are already showing then they can make them bigger.
He might think having a baby will cure his depression but everything's not rosey with one. It might make his depression worse, lack of sleep, lack of intamicy, money worries, a child that's might not settle for him could all add to his problems.
He might think having a baby will cure his depression but everything's not rosey with one. It might make his depression worse, lack of sleep, lack of intamicy, money worries, a child that's might not settle for him could all add to his problems.
itsnowmyturn
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I agree with above poster. Don't just talk about it go to the gp and get something sorted. Bringing a child into an environment with one parent depressed isn't good and heaven forbid you get post natal depression, u need ur oh there to support u after baby. I have a friend whos mum has had severe depression for over 25 years and after many hospital sectionings and attempted suicides and treatments and even brain surgery her mum still doesn't appear to be getting better. Iv watched my friend at uni getting phone calls saying her mum had tried to again and she wud have to dash home. I no this is an extreme end of the scale but think mainly about ur child having a parent with depression. A baby won't cure it.
I hope he gets better soon
I hope he gets better soon
