Honest opinion please - am I acting spoilt?!

[kittykitty]

Personally I can completely see where he is coming from but then when it comes to hair (or make-up / clothes / shoes / generally any treats for me) as I have had no money before so couldn't afford luxuries I find it hard to justify £25 every 6/9 months no matter £70 every 10 weeks lol.

Prehaps putting £7 a week in a jar is a good idea, and when it comes to the time assess what needs your child has, how much money you have and if you really can see the need to get it done at the same place then or if you could hold off / go somewhere slightly cheaper / come to a comprimise.

 

[kfarb]

I would think if it's your one extravagance it wouldn't be that big of a deal. Especially every ten weeks. I'm sure he has something he splurges on too. And keeping up your self esteem is important after having a baby. Maybe you can sit down and do a budget together and budget it in. DH and I have to get very serious about our finances, since I plan on staying home with Dylan. The haircuts will be few and far between for me!

 

[Farie]

Hummm tough one, personally I'd struggle to justify that expense to DH, he's not tight but for us it would be a lot if money (but I won't get materniy pay at all - so it's all on DH)

I would sit down and talk to him about how the are going to have once bub has arrived, at the end if the day you are entitled to some for yourself (above and beyond house/baby/food money), what you spend it on is your choice, iykwim?

 

[LALSmith]

My OH is actually telling me that this is the first thing he wants me to do after baby! Lol. My hair costs about £60 - I have the same as you highlights & cut (always needs a total restyle though) & like you u always go to the same place. Luckily for mr though my hair is already blonde (but a horrible mousey blonde) so I don't have to have the roots done very often at all. Since being pregnant I've only had to have mine done twice lol. So my OH is more than happy let me treat myself after baby is born. I was thinking about getting it done again last week but thought no I'll hold off till after baby so it can finally be a bit of me pampering after all I've done in the last 9 months! Throw the guilt trip at your OH, that's what i do if my partner has a slight mind block & forgets all the things I haven't had or done since Xmas! I said to him the other day "think of all the money I've saved in 9 months, I haven't brought any dresses, any shoes (which is a HUGE thing for me, had my hair done twice, haven't used sunbeds, haven't had my nails done, haven't been out on a night out, haven't drunk, haven't spent hardly anything on make up, I don't smoke (he does)" & he then realised just how much everythings gone on stop for me while I've been cooking our (although it becomes his) baby if he forgets any of the above lol. I would just remind him of all you've done & the fact that you'll be the one at home doing a job (full time mum) that you don't get paid for & that it's tour right to treat yourself every once in a while. If he won't accept that tell him he can't donthevthing he loves the most :-D

 

[LALSmith]

*can't do something*

excuse the spelling - I'm using my iPhone!

 

[lynne192]

before i had my son i cared, once my son was born i had and have no time, i haven't had my hair cut in almost 3years. don't get it done ever and very rarely get a chance to dye it even myself. money wise i would never consider that amount of money for anything like that but thats me personally i would rather put that towards baby.

 

[ladykara]

I just get half a head of highlights, no cutting no blow drying, they towel dry it.. i always wash it again when im home anyway.. it only cost me £30 then. could this not be a option?

 

[lori]

While I can see his point, I don't think that treating yourself to something that makes you feel good about yourself is a terrible thing. You can't make the baby weight or stretch marks disappear overnight, so if getting your hair done helps you feel good about yourself, I say do it.

I'd be a bit concerned that he thinks of it as sharing "his" money. You're a team. You're staying home looking after his baby, and just because it doesn't come with a paycheck doesn't mean it isn't a contribution to the team. What hobbies/luxuries will he be giving up, or is he somehow exempt from this because the paystub still has his name on it? I'd be a little bit annoyed, not because you MAY have to give up some luxuries after the baby, but because he thinks he has the authority to tell you that you have to.

I hope you guys can work out some sort of compromise.

 

[babyjiva]

i think it's only too much money if you also spend money on clothes, shoes, lattes, a new phone etc. 70 dollars every ten weeks seems like it should be affordable enough. I'm not saying everyone can afford it, but my husband and i are on a tight budget and if i really wanted to get my hair done every ten weeks, i'm sure we'd squeeze it in. however, if i wanted to get my hair done every ten weeks for that price, i'd really have to never buy that scarf in the window, or the new sandals etc. I can justify little things now and again because i don't do expensive things like tanning, getting my hair done etc. If you shop regularly, i'd say pushing to get your hair done every ten weeks is too much. if it's your only personal need... go for it.

all of the above is how i feel if you guys are on a budget.

if you're not on a tight budget and you guys are well off... i think he should definitely let you get your hair done no matter what.

 

[frsttimemommy]

well i'm not sure how much 70 (idk how to make that symbol) is over there, but here in the US i pay 55 dollars for partial highlights, a trim and a style. which is pretty good for here! but i doubt i would get it done every 10 weeks. i LOVE getting my hair and nails done but i just don't think i could afford it once the baby is here and i have to buy diapers and wipes and everything! i may get it done every once in awhile though. my OH supports us completely. i don't work so he literally pays for everything. i do plan on getting a part time job after LO gets here. so maybe i'll use that for myself

 

[sarafused]

£70 is just short of $110!

Personally I think thats a lot and you could look into some way of getting it done cheaper unless its your own money your spending. Your OH is probably just a bit worried about carrying the household for a while.

Ive got really dark hair and am horribly grey but Ive always coloured it at home. Ive actually got a very good colour on it and my hairdresser has even given advise on the colour.

It cost about €30 to get my hair cut, I dont get it done very often especially now Im growing my hair. But to think of it a different way thats about a third of the price of our weekend supermarket shop. In that respect its a lot!

 

[frsttimemommy]

HOLY CRAP!! you pay over 100 dollars for your hair?! i envy you. i wish i could afford that much for my hair! lol

 

[happigail]

this is one problem i won't have! In my entire adult life i've had my air cut in a hairdressers maybe 4 times and hated it so much. I cut it at home about once a year and that's it. I have really long hair!

 

[Vix_2009]

I don't know if anyone else has suggested it, but how about saving a bit of money (if you haven't already started getting SMP) so you can treat yourself, I went 7 months without having my hair done, I felt like a right horrible mess, so I know just how much having your hair done can pick you back up! It was just what I needed to boast my low confidence.

 

[Bingo]

I think if money was really tight then fair enough but it doesn't sound like it will be so I think your OH is being mean. It's important that you feel good about yourself and get treats too and any decent hubby should recognise that. I bet as you have been the highest earner that you have treated him. If so, maybe you need to remind him of that fact.

 

[MissMegs2]

I guess it just depends on how hard that £70 is to find

 

[SaskySprite]

could you sacrifice something else? Let hubby know that you know you need to sacrifice things whilst you are off on mat leave. This is one thing that you really dont want to, but to make up the money you will be prepared to do xxxxxxxxx?

 

[babytots]

I can see both sides but I guess it depends on how you find things once you are on smp.

I know for me after having a baby you don't exactly feel like sexiest woman of the year so getting your hair done can be a really big boost in your self esteem but £70 is alot of money to get your hair done so possibly maybe find someone who is just as good but doesn't charge as much.

I get mine done for £30 which is highlights,cut and blow dry. I haven't had my hair done since the start of the year and my roots really need doing so I'm going to get my hair done before baby comes and then a touch up before my wedding and then leave it for a while before getting it done again. x

 

[Mrschoochoo]

Talk to your hairdresser!!! They will probably do you a parting and halo for about £30. Its only going to be for less than a year so you will get away with it. If its your regular hairdresser they wont want to lose you as a customer for the sake of a couple of colours.
Do not try and do it yourself. If you are particular about your hair (I am) then if you mess it up you will spend hundreds to get it right again (been there with green tresses)

I knew I would not have the money or time to go to the hairdressers after the baby is born so I have had my hairdresser gradually dye out my platinum blonde back to my natural colour over the last 6 months. I love it now but then I fancyed a change so did not mind going dark.

 

[vaniilla]

I don't think its selfish at all, I'm not dying my hair anymore as I've been growing it out but I spend 60 for a cut and 20 for a treatment, I'm not working atm but my oh has no problem paying for it or for anything else I do, if the household budget is the reason behind it then maybe you could look at your expenses and see where you could make cuts so that it doesn't become a problem or you could save up some money