Pinkys Brain
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- Apr 1, 2014
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My wife suffered a miscarriage two months ago after out first in four years.
She was distraught, we both were. I gradually helped her through it and she's come out the other side feeling better. Still very upset but dealing with it.
I'm not. I am totally, absolutely depressed. And frustrated. And angry. And there is nothing I can do about it. I can't even tell my doctor, the one person that could help, as it would be listed on my record and massively delay future IVF attempts.
I go through every day, dead on the inside, smile on the outside. My wife knows all this however she also knows I can't let it out. I haven't cried since it happened but inside, I want to rip myself apart. I sleep six hours a night and wake up in what feels like only seconds.
There's something brewing. I've disconnected from reality. I smile, I laugh, I joke and beneath the surface, I can feel how fake these emotions are. All I feel is anguish and loss and pain. I want to scream, to hurt. But I can't.
I've been awake for nearly 24 hours. I'm going to go to sleep soon and I'll feel the same way tomorrow. This is my life now.
Thanks for reading.
She was distraught, we both were. I gradually helped her through it and she's come out the other side feeling better. Still very upset but dealing with it.
I'm not. I am totally, absolutely depressed. And frustrated. And angry. And there is nothing I can do about it. I can't even tell my doctor, the one person that could help, as it would be listed on my record and massively delay future IVF attempts.
I go through every day, dead on the inside, smile on the outside. My wife knows all this however she also knows I can't let it out. I haven't cried since it happened but inside, I want to rip myself apart. I sleep six hours a night and wake up in what feels like only seconds.
There's something brewing. I've disconnected from reality. I smile, I laugh, I joke and beneath the surface, I can feel how fake these emotions are. All I feel is anguish and loss and pain. I want to scream, to hurt. But I can't.
I've been awake for nearly 24 hours. I'm going to go to sleep soon and I'll feel the same way tomorrow. This is my life now.
Thanks for reading.