Hoping for natural birth... I think?

[Karenesque9]

I've gotten myself into a bit of a sticky situation.

I had originally wanted to give birth in a birth center. But horror stories of complications led me to commit to a hospital birth for the "safety."

I went over my birth plan with my OB 2 weeks ago, who is new to me since I didn't have an OB before I got pregnant, isn't being super-supportive of my ideas of giving birth without medications/inductions/ and epidural. He is VERY pro-epidural and thinks I'm being ridiculous, or naive, or whatever. My worries about the medication cascade that ultimately leads to an unnecessary C-section are met with "oh, that's not true." He's very dismissive.

I've already pre-paid the hospital and this OB practice. So I'm kinda stuck with my commitment, and I really don't like this OB.

ANYWAYS, on the other side. I am a HUGE wuss and I do have a low pain tolerance and A LOT of anxiety. I had my cervix checked on Sat (went to hospital due to cramps, that i thought were contractions but weren't, because I'm sick with stomach virus) AND I NEARLY HIT THE CEILING from that!

So I'm having doubts about my natural birth plan. Labor has got to be waaaaay more painful than having a cervix check, right? And I feel like during labor, especially in a hospital with a pro-epidural OB, I'm going to FOLD as soon as they offer/push it on me...

So I'm feeling like a failure already, because I guess I do forsee myself giving in....

I just don't know what to do. I have the angel on one shoulder telling me that I can do it, and labor will be like running a marathon, which hurts like a bitch and you feel like you're dying the last 6 miles but SO WORTH IT in the end. And I have the devil on the other shoulder telling me about all my friends who had great epidural births with no complications or C-sections and "I loved it, I had no pain and I got to sleep, relax, and watch TV during labor!" *SIGH*

Thoughts?

 

[MindUtopia]

So sorry about your negative experience with your OB and his lack of support. Unfortunately, most OBs have never really seen a natural birth and have no idea how straightforward it can be. But the reality is that you can have a positive natural birth, even with a crappy OB, if you prepare and surround yourself with support (people who will act as a buffer and advocate for you). For pain management, I can't recommend enough trying a TENS machine and hypnotherapy. I managed easily at home with just these and never felt like I couldn't cope...with maybe one exception, the cervical check. I got through transition and fully dilated just fine on my own, then the midwives showed up and wanted to check me and OUCH!! The most painful part of my birth!! I am definitely not consenting to that next time! So don't let that scare you and think you can't cope. Getting to dilation was easy for me and pushing out my daughter was hard work, but not 'painful' like that horrid exam. Also remember you don't have to be checked. It's your choice and you can decline if you want. So stay positive, believe in yourself and surround yourself with support. You can do it. And if it makes you feel better, I would have totally hated to just sleep and watch tv through labour. It's an amazing experience and something you'll want to actively do and participate in, not something to just 'get through' and that's one of the reasons I'm glad I felt it and experienced it.

 

[pinkstarbinks]

a cervix check in my opinion is by far worse than labour xxx

 

[ljo1984]

Get yourself on line and read loads about natural and active birth. Also get a cd for hypnobirthing, believe me it works wonders! I also used tens which helped.
You can do it, I just wish practitioners in the US were more open to things other than epidurals, pitocin and c sections! I've just been watching a programme (maternity ward I think) and there was an OB on there who checked a woman and discussed c section cause baby wasn't moving down! If she wasn't flat on her back it would! Gravity?!!! It makes sense lol.
You need to stick to your guns, don't let them bully you into medication, have a very supportive birth partner/s. stay active and get on board with natural pain relief methods. It can be done.
Have you spoke to the hospital to see if they have any mw's/nurses there who specialise in natural birth?

 

[NaturalMomma]

Labor pain is not the same as any other pain. I find toothaches and stubbing my toe more painful. I have a low pain tolerance too and have had 2 homebirths (completely med free). Labor slowly builds up, so it's not like you're in this horrible pain for hours upon hours. It's generally just the end during transition and that doesn't last long (but may feel like it does).

I would get a Doula since this OB seems to be of no help at all.

 

[Jessica0907]

Getting a doula is a good idea.

Also try doing a lot of your laboring at home. Have your birth plan written on paper, hand it over to them when you're admitted and tell them that you're aware of your options for pain control and to please not ask unless you inquire first.

 

[Pixxie]

A natural birth is something you will not regret, just remind yourself that 100 years ago no one had an epidural, they all just got on with it and usually went to cook dinner straight after! It's so nice to feel everything, it does hurt but the pain won't kill you and it works up slowly as long as you go into labour naturally. Try a waterbirth if you can, it really eases the pain. You can do it, ignore your OB, get a doula if you can xx

 

[Karenesque9]

I am looking into getting a doula. I think with professional labor support I can do this. My husband is just probably to freak out during labor/be minimal help to me and he is terrible at massages anyways. He's so nervous about being my labor support that when I suggested a doula and the cost, he didn't even balk (he hates spending $$!). I hope I can find one - I'm already 34 weeks!

 

[Kiwi_Jen]

I had a doula for my first birth, she was awesome. My OB was also very pro intervention (strongly urged me to get induced at 40 weeks, kept pushing interventions even through labour). Thankfully I only saw him twice during labour, once when he said I wasn't progressing fast enough (I ignored him) and again when I was pushing.

I had it in my birth plan that no-one was to offer me pain relief, if I wanted it I would ask for it. I think that helped me resist, I was _not_ going to ask.

I'd also second the comment about getting prepared with hypnobirthing or something similar. You need to know what to expect and how to manage pain so you don't freak out during labour. Good luck!

 

[SimoneMK]

a cervix check in my opinion is by far worse than labour xxx

Are you serious? This just made me a happy FTM! LOL I thought the cervix check was a walk in the park and she SHOVED her whole hand up there lol

 

[SimoneMK]

I've gotten myself into a bit of a sticky situation.

I had originally wanted to give birth in a birth center. But horror stories of complications led me to commit to a hospital birth for the "safety."

I went over my birth plan with my OB 2 weeks ago, who is new to me since I didn't have an OB before I got pregnant, isn't being super-supportive of my ideas of giving birth without medications/inductions/ and epidural. He is VERY pro-epidural and thinks I'm being ridiculous, or naive, or whatever. My worries about the medication cascade that ultimately leads to an unnecessary C-section are met with "oh, that's not true." He's very dismissive.

I've already pre-paid the hospital and this OB practice. So I'm kinda stuck with my commitment, and I really don't like this OB.

ANYWAYS, on the other side. I am a HUGE wuss and I do have a low pain tolerance and A LOT of anxiety. I had my cervix checked on Sat (went to hospital due to cramps, that i thought were contractions but weren't, because I'm sick with stomach virus) AND I NEARLY HIT THE CEILING from that!

So I'm having doubts about my natural birth plan. Labor has got to be waaaaay more painful than having a cervix check, right? And I feel like during labor, especially in a hospital with a pro-epidural OB, I'm going to FOLD as soon as they offer/push it on me...

So I'm feeling like a failure already, because I guess I do forsee myself giving in....

I just don't know what to do. I have the angel on one shoulder telling me that I can do it, and labor will be like running a marathon, which hurts like a bitch and you feel like you're dying the last 6 miles but SO WORTH IT in the end. And I have the devil on the other shoulder telling me about all my friends who had great epidural births with no complications or C-sections and "I loved it, I had no pain and I got to sleep, relax, and watch TV during labor!" *SIGH*

Thoughts?

You are not a failure if you get an epidural. The more you think about it, the worse off you are. You need to eliminate the fear associated with labor.

 

[chicka.chicka]

I will just say that both of your little angels are correct. I've had both natural and medicated deliveries and, for the most part, they were all wonderful. My preference is for a natural birth, but don't feel at all a failure for having gone with epidurals, either.

My advice is to keep your mind open to the options. Plan for a natural delivery, but don't be afraid to take the epi if if comes down to it and you feel you need it.

Trust yourself! I'm sure you'll make the right decision, whatever it is.

 

[irish_cob]

Cervical exam by far the worst part of labour for me!