Horrible midwife

[wiggles]

Has anyone had a disappointing first antenatal appointment?

I just had my first midwife appointment on Wednesday and was really excited about it. My husband and I got pregnant as soon as we started trying and it has all been a bit of a shock to me. I am really happy but it doesn't feel real yet. I was hoping that my first appointment would be a chance to ask loads of questions and talk about what's happening.

It was a real let down though. The room I went into was the blood testing room and there were urine samples and testing things everywhere. The midwife left me there while she made herself a cup of tea. That freaked me out to start with. Then she barely looked at me or talked to me while filling in all the paper work. She whizzed through all the family health questions so fast I'm not sure I answered correctly and that was it.

She barely mentioned the 12 week scan and only told me the appointment would come in the post when I asked about it. She didn't want a blood or urine sample and said it was up to me to make my next appointment at 25 weeks.

She did schedule a home visit for this coming Friday but I am dreading it. All I wanted was someone to talk to me about being pregnant and put my mind at ease. I know she has done this hundreds of times but this is my very first and I'm 25. I don't have close friends who have been through this and need her advice.

Can anyone relate or give me some advice, I would really appreciate it?

Wiggles

 

[anita665]

Hi.

She doesn't sound very good at all and the care in your area doesn't either if you just have your 12 week scan and a 25 week appointment. I think you should see how things go at the appointment on Friday as she may have more time and it mught be different. Ifit's not though then I think you should look into finding a different midwife.

It sounds really different to my care. Up until 30 weeks I see the midwife once a month and although the appointments are rushed, I'm a little pushy and ask what I need to. They always check my urine sample every time I go there and I had blood tests at my first appointment at 8 week, 16 week and some more today (my 30 week appointment a couple of days early).

I hope it goes better for you on Friday and in the mean time there are plenty of people on here to ask questions and chat to.

 

[Jules]

Ask for a different midwife or swap doctors surgerys. Although my first appointment was fairly quick and similar (i didn't give urine or blood on first visit) i did feel comfortable to ask questions and have a quick chat.

You should be having appointments every month abouts (except if your going to hospital for something, she will miss an appointment), and each time they ask you to take a urine sample, you get bloods taken at about 15/16 weeks (well thats when i had mine done).

Home Visit?!?! I haven't had anyone mention this to me, my midwife hasn't anyway!

 

[anita665]

No I've never had a home visit either but according to my notes I should get one a 38 or 39 weeks.

 

[rashima]

This is really so strange behaviour, sorry for you.You should change your mw or go to doctor.

My doc is really a cool lady and she always asks me if I have any question and I also had my urine and blood test at my first appt.

Wish you a good luck

 

[Pearl]

i didnt really like my first midwife appointment either. i had it like u , i had to go hospital to get blood first then after the midwife came to my house on the first visit where they ask u to pee on a stick , take ur bp etc...and that midwife only asked abou tmy health not about my partners either !! it left feeling like i wasnt sure how it went , was she horrible or what ? ... btw are u in london ? what hospital are u with if u dont mind me asking ??

 

[wiggles]

I am in Newport, South Wales and had my appointment at my local doctors surgery. I don't know how easy it is to change surgeries and if the same midwives cover the whole area.

 

[xJG30]

If you're unhappy about how she treated, I'd make a complaint tbh..

 

[Ciaran82]

I would too - NHS have not been particularly helpful with us tbh - my wife's initial midwife appointment is tomorrow, if our midwife is anything like yours I know we'd have something to say about it!

 

[nikky0907]

I don't have a midwife,I have an ob/gyn.She is good.On my first appointment at 8 weeks I had a scan...
I'm sorry you didn't have a good experience with her,maybe she was having a bad day...you'll get used to it,the baby is much more important...

 

[Vickie]

Honestly, if it were me, I'd see how the home visit goes on Friday, and if I was still unhappy with her after that I would start looking for another MW.

 

[Ciaran82]

Turned out after all that our initial midwife appointment was a bit of a disaster, she asked my wife if she was pleased (this is made even more ridiculous by the fact that our pregnancy is from IVF) then apparently went on about pushing breast feeding and making dw feel pressured into doing it. We don't feel as though she really knew what she was talking about, did not look at our records properly and made us feel obligated to have various tests (downs syndrome etc) which are not compulsory. In the green booklet you get there are the names of 2 midwives, the other lady I am reliably informed is much nicer and less abrupt, so we are going to try to push to get her for most of the appointments and things.