How am i going to go back to work after this?!

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by moomoo, Oct 9, 2008.

  1. moomoo

    moomoo Mumma to 2 & 1 in heaven!

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    The girl who i sit next to at work would have been only 2 weeks ahead of me in our pregnancies...how on earth am i going to be able to sit next to her knowing that would have been me!!! :cry: I wouldnt wish anything bad to happen, but how am i going to cope...it was an exciting situation, now its just pure horendous. How am i going to cope!!!!!!!!!!!! :cry:
     
  2. Dustyx

    Dustyx Well-Known Member

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    Hi Moo, only go back when you are ready, honey take some time out for yourself don't feel bad if you need to stay at home for a while get your doc to sign you off. The girls at the office will understand more than you know especially the pregnant ones as they have the same fears as we do on the forum, i can bet they will be the most supportive for you. Please promise me you don't go back til you ready hun, have they offered you counselling it may be benefitial and we are always here to talk to. Take care babe lot of love Dusty x
     
  3. Boudica

    Boudica Well-Known Member

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    Ho Moo. I'm so sorry your work situation is causing you this extra anxiety. xx

    Only you can know when to go back. As Dusty says, you may find her very supportive. Oh dear, I feel so bad for you. Take your time, talk on here - I have found it incredibly helpful.

    Take care sweetie
     
  4. buffycat

    buffycat mummy to Enid & Anna...

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    hi moomoo.......this is such a difficult time, and you need to concentrate on yourself....please don't go back to work until you are ready.

    i really hope that the girl at work will be ok with you too. She might struggle with what to say, but then, my personal experience is that no words can heal this for you. Maybe, just ask her to be herself, and to not say things like 'not meant to be' etc - they are the worst comments....

    take care....:hugs:
     
  5. misstrouble

    misstrouble Slowly going Insane!!!

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    I know just how you feel. I lost my angel two weeks ago at 8 weeks. This has been my first week back and I work as a GP's receptionist. It had been fine until today which is Ante Natal day. With each of the ladies I booked in I wanted to cry, and so badly wanted to be going to see my own midwife and not sitting there feeling empty:cry:
    Just make sure you take all the time you need and make sure you have lots of support around you. Nothing will ever take the pain away and there will always be constant reminders but hopefully with time the pain will ease.
    Take care of yourself :hug:
     
  6. juliespencer9

    juliespencer9 Well-Known Member

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    hi moo moo, i had the same prob in aug i had m/c and worked with a preg girl, personally i used to be so jelous and i hated listening to her, but i fell preg 8 wks later, hopefully u will become preg over the next couple of months, but im having a few probs now with spotting so am worried another m/c is on its way

    x
     
  7. DebsHopeful

    DebsHopeful Mummy to a beautiful girl

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    Just want to send you a :hug:

    I lost my baby at 14 weeks just over two months ago and can understand your apprehension about going back to work.

    Try and get as much time off work as possible to rest.

    I hear you on the envy, I have 4 friends all due within three weeks of when I would have been due and it isn't easy to be happy all the time, but they understand my situation and I hope the girl you work with will be senstive towards your feelings and not go on about her pregnancy too much in front of you until you get your :bfp:

    Time does heal, it is amazing. The memories live on and that special bond is one you won't ever forget but the pain and emptiness you are feeling now will get better.

    Best wishes to you and your DH. May you both grow together and stronger through this grief.
     
  8. Rumpskin

    Rumpskin Free to try again!

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    So sorry for your loss sweetie.

    The only advice i can give you is to take your time and go back to work only when you ready. I know it is going to be difficult with the other lady in your office but once she knows, I am sure she will be so supportive, if not feeling a little awkward.

    We are all here for you and know how devastating it is to suffer a miscarriage.

    Lots of love xx
     
  9. JASMAK

    JASMAK Mom of three

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    I went through a very similar situation for my first m/c. There were two people expecting whom I worked closely with. One gave birth about the time when I would have. Also, I worked with a man whose wife was PG, and due the same time. We had told just each other about the "good news" when I lost mine a couple days later. He rarely talked to me about his wife, which made me sad, because I wanted him to share such excitement in his life, because he was my friend, but at the same time, I was relieved that he didn't. It won't be easy, that's for sure. Just tell her that you are still heartbroken, and although you are happy for her, you still need time to heal before you can be completely there for her.
     
  10. Loo

    Loo Mum of 2 and one on way

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    Hi MooMoo

    Its horrible when this happens. 2 of my friends and 2 neighbours all had babies around my due date (but none of them know about my mc). At first it was awful. I just avoided seeing them to be honest. And if I did, I tried to steer the conversation away from babies, because I couldn't bear it when they whinged about lack of sleep or something. I was thinking - just be grateful you don't know how lucky you are!!

    But as time as gone on it has got easier. It still pains me to see them with what I could have had. But it is bearable.

    Good luck x
     
  11. chrissie33

    chrissie33 Mummy to two monkeys

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    Sweetheart, I am sorry you are having this extra worry. It is not easy babe, my best friend told me she was pg the day I had my first mc and I was quietly devastated, envious, frustrated etc, I wasnt upset with her, I was trully happy for her as they had been trying for ages but I was really unhappy that it had happened to me. It is natural. I didnt want lucy to feel she had to avoid talking to me so i told her what had happened, explained I was excited for her and wanted to be kept in the loop but if I didnt initiate the conversation it meant I was having a bad moment and so to not talk to me at that time. It worked for us - when I saw her or spoke to her we talked about everything but unless I asked her specifically - she understood thankfully and it worked as well as could be expected. Her baby was born on my EDD and so she only told me a couple of days later as I was already dealing with lots of emotion. A little harder if you work together but I really think if you explain what has happened and that you just need her to consider your feelings a little, she should understand and try not to hurt you further. Take each day as it comes and make sure you take as much time off work as you need x :hug:
     
  12. Dona

    Dona Well-Known Member

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    Don't go back to work until you feel you can - get signed off until the time is right. I totally understand how you feel. I had a m/c in April and just after that my sister in-law announced she was pg. I was devastated, then my best friend told me she was having an abortion. I thought the world was against me - but of course its not. It took my four months to fall again and it does make thing seem easier, so keep trying. My 13 week scan is on, what would have been my due date. I am glad of this as it will be a happy day and not a what should have been day.

    Please keep your chin up, if you need a chat just PM me. :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:
     

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