How can i go 4 weeks without knowing if my baby is ok or not?!

[Tattybear2706]

Hi ladies,

My ivf clinic did weekly scans but then discharged me last week at 8 weeks. With my mmc history i was shocked by this.

Im not coping well at all with idea that my baby might not be ok. Last time i assumed i was still pregnant but a scan 2 weeks later revealed our babys heart had stopped and i had to have a d&c.

Ideally i wished they would have done weekly scan at least up to 10 weeks.

I feel sooooo frightened all the time and I'm not coping at all. With my mmc i didn't have any fears as i was naive, this time i'm a wreck. Crying all the time at thought my baby might be dead inside me

 

[SteffieLee]

so sorry you are going through this. Is there somewhere you can go for an elective scan? There's several places here in USA that do that. I've been to one several times for gender determination scans and for a 6 wk scan after I lost a baby to an early miscarriage. Thought about getting a doppler so you can hear the hb?

 

[Tattybear2706]

Thank you so much for replying xx private scans are about £100 here in the uk and we cant afford it. I have thought about getting a doppler but would be terrified if i didn't hear anything :/ xx

 

[sethsmummy]

you should be able to get a reassurance scan much cheaper hun. iv seen places do them for £40-£50 xx

 

[Tattybear2706]

you should be able to get a reassurance scan much cheaper hun. iv seen places do them for £40-£50 xx

Hi,

Cheapest round here is £75!! Rip people off who are emotionally desperate.

 

[sethsmummy]

oh wow sorry hun that sucks.

 

[SteffieLee]

Aww I'm sorry. Have you asked/begged your ivf clinic to give you just one more scan? I do know what you are going through. The pregnancy following a loss is extra tough and stressful. Just try to relax and think positive. I'm sure everything is going along just fine.

 

[tif]

My doctor has only confirmed my pregnancy so far,then scheduled my first check-up for 12 weeks. I also won't get a scan until 20 weeks, which will be the only one unless there are complications.

Because of this, we haven't told anyone about it yet, since we want to make sure everything is good at the first check-up before sharing the news. It's frustrating, but the best thing to do is simply stay positive.

If you have no cramping or bleeding, and your symptoms don't disappear, try not to worry. All worrying will do is stress yourself out.

 

[Ziggie]

Doppler is about £50 for a half way decent one.... personally I'd spend the extra and get a scan halfway. I've had 2 so far and best money I've spent.

 

[AMB1216]

I'm so sorry! Maybe get a private scan, I think they cost about 100 (at least where I'm at) I'm almost 12 weeks and have gotten nothing, today I am supposed to hear my LO's HB but I'm stressing that they won't pick it up and they will say "Oh its normal" and not give me a scan to make sure. I know how you feel! Just try to stay positive, that's what I've been doing and if you can try to get a private scan. I think since you've had MMC's they would watch you until you were in the "safe zone" which is into the second trimester right?

 

[Tmb0047]

Since you've been discharge have you been given a new care provider? maybe ring their office and explain your concerns. Maybe they'd be kind enough to get you in for a quick look

 

[StranjeGirl]

I know this isn't the right thing to do, but what if you called and said you had some spotting or something like that?

 

[ginamurr]

I rented a doppler because then I can check on my baby every day or twice a day if I want - much better than a scan for me

 

[britgirl82]

It must be so hard, but it could be a positive sign: that they're confident everything's going to be ok. After a good scan at 8wks your risk of a problem is really low, so maybe your IVF clinic is actually saying that they're not worried about you? Can you take comfort from that?

Where in the UK are you? Private scans are £100+ in London but elsewhere in the country they're much cheaper. Maybe say where you are and people can advise on somewhere to try?

Please don't lie to the NHS about spotting to get a scan. It's just wrong. If everyone did that, the NHS would be swamped, and every scan takes money away from people with true medical needs.

Having said that, your GP may actually be very sympathetic, particularly if it's affecting your mental state: he/she might be a good place to try to see if you can be referred?

 

[britgirl82]

Also - have you checked your clinic's protocol? They should say somewhere how long they keep you as a patient post-BFP. Make sure that they have kept their part of the bargain!

 

[StranjeGirl]

I don't know,I know it's not right to lie, but with her history of mmc, and if I remember correctly baby was measuring behind, then to me that warrants weekly scans. Personally I don't think you should have to lie, they should be willing to give the scan in your situation. I know my doctor here would do it without thinking twice about it. Although it's a good sign that the clinic discharged her, that doesn't offer much reassurance to someone who had a hard time conceiving, went through ivf and already suffered a loss. Just my opinion!

 

[Anniebobs]

I had a mmc along with 2 more mcs and I was told I'd get one reassurance scan until my 12 week scan. Turns out I had bleeding twice so ended up with 2 scans with the last one being at 9+4 weeks, my next scan is not until next week when I'll be 13+5 so I've had a longish wait, but it really has gone quick. As others have said after seeing the heartbeat the risks do go down. And my doctors told me it's rare to have 2 mc in a row (I was just unlucky with my 3) you really do have a good chance of this being a sticky baby.

 

[britgirl82]

That opinion is fine in the USA where you pay for healthcare. I have given birth in both the UK and the USA and totally prefer the American system where I was given weekly scans on demand - it was wonderful. But my insurance (and therefore indirectly my husband and I) paid for that.

In the UK, where healthcare costs comes out of taxes, that approach cannot work. For every scan given, money is taken from somewhere else. Reassurance scans are great, but they are not a medical necessity, and so they should not take precedence over real medical needs: paying for more midwives, for example. There is one pot of money and it needs to be divided up: using it for unnecessary (from a strictly medical point of view) procedures is not how the system needs to work to function efficiently.

That's not a compassionate system at all, I understand that, and I feel deeply for the OP: it must be awful. But people have been refused life-lengthening cancer drugs since it was believed the money could be better spent elsewhere. Tough decisions have to be made. Lying to get some of that money is stealing it from others.

OP - I really hope you get some reassurance soon and get your Christmas miracle

 

[StranjeGirl]

That opinion is fine in the USA where you pay for healthcare. I have given birth in both the UK and the USA and totally prefer the American system where I was given weekly scans on demand - it was wonderful. But my insurance (and therefore indirectly my husband and I) paid for that.

In the UK, where healthcare costs comes out of taxes, that approach cannot work. For every scan given, money is taken from somewhere else. Reassurance scans are great, but they are not a medical necessity, and so they should not take precedence over real medical needs: paying for more midwives, for example. There is one pot of money and it needs to be divided up: using it for unnecessary (from a strictly medical point of view) procedures is not how the system needs to work to function efficiently.

That's not a compassionate system at all, I understand that, and I feel deeply for the OP: it must be awful. But people have been refused life-lengthening cancer drugs since it was believed the money could be better spent elsewhere. Tough decisions have to be made. Lying to get some of that money is stealing it from others.

OP - I really hope you get some reassurance soon and get your Christmas miracle

That makes more sense now, but what about the ivf clinic? Is that part of the same system?

 

[HomeEdMam]

Hun, search early pregnancy units and look for.a local one that does self referral.
I tried to post it but can't post links yet, sorry xx