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How can we stay together in this?


Well-Known Member
Sep 17, 2008
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I live with my partner and he's really supportive, but often he says the wrong thing or doesn't know what to say. It makes it even more difficult that I have borderline personality disorder and often take things people say the wrong way or get stroppy over a mis-understanding.

We both also suffer from M.E and at the minute we're both soooo tired. I have a really bad cold so he's been doing loads to help me and as a result he's feeling really tired and ill himself.

I'm terrified that my cold is going to affect the baby. I just feel as though I an't possibly feel this ill yet the baby not be affected... hopefully I'm wrong though.

Anyway, with all those factors above taken into consideration, me and my OH aren't getting on very well. I'm terrified I'm going to miscarry (I had a scan at 5 weeks and everything was fine so surely its not worth going to the doctors again!) I also think what happens is supposed to happen, but that doesn't stop me being terrified. My OH is also terrified about losing the baby but I don't feel I can talk to him about it because he gets really upset and then frustrates me by telling me not to worry (how can I not worry?)

First of all, should I go to the doctors? Is there really much point, I'm sure there isn't anything they could do to stop anthing bad happening at this point?

Also has anyone else struggled in their relationships while pregnant? I really don't know what to do/ say/ how to act around him.

Thanks :)
Im sorry i dont know what to say to alot of the things you have said...as for wanting to go to the doctors, its natural to be worried, you are a mother and thats our job! But i wouldnt go to the doctors unless there is a problem or a reason to be worrying, such as pain or bleeding..Your right that there is nothing you can do at this early stage, if anything is going to happen it will, no bodys fault it just means there is a problem.. I know its hard but aslong as you havent had any previous problems i would try not to worry soo much..

As for your relationship problems, i sort of went through the same i was getting stressed with my OH, so i just wrote everything i was feeling down, that way he could read everything i had to say without butting in etc..then if he wanted to say anything back or write he could, that helped alot. Hope i have helped, if only a little bit..and try not to worry xx
Aww hun sorry you're feeling like that :hugs:

I don't really know what to say but I think the advice about writing what you're feeling down will help, even if you dont give it to your OH to read, it's a release for you.

Don't forget our hormones are going crazy at the moment, does your OH understand that? Could you maybe talk to your mum or a close friend about how you're feeling and that might make you feel in a better position to talk to your OH - if you've released a lot of your emotions beforehand, it could help you think more logically.

I think it's really important that you try and stay honest with each other and get through this together.. I don't think trying to hide how you're both really feeling from each other will help. But that's just my opinion - and I don't have that much experience lol

Anyway, I really hope you start feeling better soon :hugs:

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