how did u do it?

[gemabee]

for all the single mums who were single with newborns... how did u do it?
i'm so tired nd really would do anythin for some support (nd the occassional cuddle) at home.
i'm breastfeedin nd finns been cluster feedin since day 8... nd sometimes he goes all night (i got 1 hour sleep last night).
i'm not eatin properly, takin care of myself or the washin / housework - i jus don't have the time or energy.
finns not content unless he's bein cuddled (i love that he needs me - jus not that it means i cant do anythin).
i live away from family / friends nd they can't get to me cos of the snow - nd its been bad here since thursday night.
i can't even get to the shop.
i'm feelin really down today... i'm sick of people sayin 'oh it'll get better jus keep goin' - that gem of info ain't helpin my situation!
rant over

 

[sweetlullaby]

Massive Massive Hun, In all honesty I really don't know how I done it I know when LO was about 3 weeks - 6 weeks was really hard because all he seemed to do was eat and cry and sleep (eventually!).

I admit I spent a lot of time in front of the tv with a baby sleeping on me (only way he would sleep for any length of time back then!) lol

No real advise other than maybe trying out a baby carrier?

 

[expecting09]

Being single with a newborn is hard, but you'll manage! I used to sleep whenever Kacie napped, I had like 3/4 naps a day As for the housework and washing, I only did what needed doing (washing up bottles, sticking a load of washing on when I had nothing else to wear etc etc.)

Using a sling like SL mentioned could be a massive help if he has to be cuddled all the time?

Massive

 

[billy2mm]

i found getting a feeding pattern in place as soon as i could helped. i was feeding on demand but once i saw he was going almost 4 hours between feeds i started trying to push it back closer to the 4 hour mark each time by a 5-10 mins. once you have a routine in place everything is so much easier.

 

[chels24uk]

oh hun. I have no advice as i havent been single with a newborn, so i will see how hard it is come May! Bloody scarey thought as I have a 5 year old to! Sling is probably a good idea though and definatly sleep when baby is napping. Dont be afraid to ask for help either if its available *big hugs!*

 

[Mumof42009]

Hun housework and things can wait enjoy you ds while he is tiny as they grow so quick. Make sure you look after you as well, even if you eat little bits through the day to keep your energy up xx

 

[teal]

I have no idea how I managed. I know you're sickl of hearing but with the breastfeeding after the 6 week mark things will be easier and it won't feel like you're feeding LO constantly. I found it hard trying to do basic things like eat or shower etc.

I think the baby carrier/sling would make a big difference if LO wanted to be held all the time - even if long enough for you to tidy up a bit and make something to eat!

I know it's hard when you don't ever get a break but you are doing a fab job.

Huge, huge hugs

 

[sciencemum]

Ive been single all pregnancy and Violets now 12 weeks. I won't lie, it really is tough, I don't know how I have managed so far, but I have - just got to keep plodding on. I havent had a good nights sleep in so long and Violets had colic and woke up every 2 hours since being little - she was only 4lb11 - so I blame her being so tiny for feeding so much.

I still forget to eat for days and my house is such a tip and I am sick of health visitors out ect.

Just hang in there love, know your not alone. *hugs*

 

[Tracy76]

Oh I feel for you, it is definitley hard work! I have 7 and a 6 year old as well who have to be up, dressed, fed, and on the bus by 7:45 am every morning for school, and it is definitely tough some mornings. Do you have a baby swing? It totally saved my life. My little Kaleb LOVES his swing and it is the reason I still have hair, lol. I agree with what other people have said, try to get yourself into a routine of some sort during the day. I guess the way I've gotten through is by being so grateful he is here and being completely in love with him. I don't mind so much having to get up every hour on the hour some nights, because when I look down and see him my heart just melts. Another little trick I've learned that helps him sleep a little longer at night is to try to force baby to go a little longer before you feed him when he is going down around 8 or 9 pm. Let him cry for five minutes and work up an appetite. Then give him a nice warm bath. Then feed him. He'll probably eat a little more and sleep a little longer. Another secret my grama taught me that I have used with all of my children is to teach them from birth that night time is not playtime. Try not to talk to him or turn on bright lights at night when he wakes up. Cuddle him, feed him, and lay him right back down. This can be tough sometimes, but it's totally worth it!! My oldest had his days and nights mixed up until I learned this trick, and now I have the best sleepers in the world! Just remember how much you love him, try to enjoy the cuddles while you can, even though they are completely inconvienent sometimes, lol. Pretty soon he'll be 17 like my oldest and cuddles are few and far between.... These early days don't last forever.... YOU CAN DO IT!! *hugs*

 

[KiansMummy]

I've honestly no idea how I've got were I am. Kian is 16 weeks now! And like people have said it does get easier just takes time. The first few weeks I found so tough, he is a really clingy baby. I think that's cos he's just been used to be with me all the time, and in the first couple of weeks I just held him most of the time , like you I am Breastfeeding and he was feeding in demand, sometimes every hour! He was early though and tiny so I used that as the excuse for why he was feeding so much, he also gad colic and got bad reflux which was hard some nights seemed like they lasted forever, I'd just settle him after he'd been cryin for what seemed like hours, get my self into bed and he'd wake up! I ended up co-sleeping in the end as that seemed to help us both get some sleep, during the day I cuddle him to sleep and then when hes deep aslee put him in his bouncer or pram , or sometimes I'd just take him for a walk around the block in his pram as the motion made him go to sleep, I'd then sort myself out quickly have something to eat,a shower then if got time tidy up and then relax, put my feet up with a brew!! Or sometimes id just nap with him if I was really tired. Like the others have said maybe try a sling he will then feel close to you and you'll be able to get things done, make sure you try to eat to keep your energy up, try get into a bit of a routine, maybe you could go to some groups or something that get you both out of the house, but most of all enjoy him they aren't tiny long and the newborn days soon pass! Trust me Hun it does get easier and you are doing a fantastic job !!! BIG HUGS xxx

 

[Fraggles]

Hi hun i'd say by a moby, they are a life saver means baby is snuggled up to you but you can do stuff while wearing him. Cluster feeding is hard but when thats established it means baby might go a bit longer at night between feeds. I know its bloody hard but you are coming up to growth spurt tim and it should settle down some what in the next few weeks.

 

[rosie272]

I really struggled in the first few months Charlie fed every 3 hours and that was tough going as he was really windy/colicky.. My sister stayed with me for the first 2 weeks then my other sister stayed for 3 weeks - I really don't know how I would have mangaged without them! Housework and laundry definitely took a backseat until I found my feet - It is really hard but looking back now I can hardly remember those days! Hang in there

 

[dom85]

hun, I wouldn't want to be back there, just remember that you don't have to be superman, sleep when he sleeps and only do what absolutely has to be done, as time goes on and you get more into a routine you can get more done. The Moby was a life saver for me and I also co slept from day 4 and i honestly think this is why Brady started sleeping through at 8 weeks.