How did you know you were done having babies?

[noon_child]

I keep waiting for the unbearable bloodiness to come over me and it doesn't. I thought I wanted two kids and although I'd love to be pregnant, the thought of the newborn stage fills me with dread. I was so isolated and so tired.

I occasionally get a broody moment, but then I think "would I cope if it was disabled or high needs, do I want another decade of my life with no evenings out, no life for myself?" (we don't have much family support)

I also enjoy being able to give my attention to my daughter in its entirety. I thought when she stopped being a toddler that feeling would change but she's learning so much every day and I'm really enjoying being part of moulding her personality.

 

[lau86]

I'm starting to think I will never feel done!! I have three now and think I would have a 4th if hubby said yes. But I don't think he will so it's just a case of me working though it

 

[RainbowDrop_x]

I always only ever wanted 2 children. And now I have that I'm done. I know I'm done because my 2nd pregnancy was more horrific than the first, my 2nd labour was more painful than the first and my 2nd baby has been so much more difficult than my first. Lactose intolerance, dairy allergy and just generally harder to cope with and I don't want to take the risk that it could get worse than my 2nd on any count. For us, being a family of 4 works. DH had a vasectomy a week and a half ago and the confirmation for me being done was that I only felt relief. There was a fleeting moment where I though "but what if" but then I got over it.

I think also for me, I'm only 25. So I'm still young enough to raise my girls and be a mother and then enjoy having me time back when they're older.

 

[hopefulVRmum]

I wanted 2 now I'm trying for number 5!

 

[Sealion24]

I always wanted 3 children but my partner only 1 so we agreed to go in the middle at 2. I would love another but know I could never convince him

 

[jessmke]

Funny this thread should pop back up because we have now decided to have one more babe! We want Isla to have a sibling so we will be trying for baby #2 in September after our wedding.

 

[donnarobinson]

Aww that's great news X

 

[Ganton]

I'm starting to think I will never feel done!! I have three now and think I would have a 4th if hubby said yes. But I don't think he will so it's just a case of me working though it

I convinced my hubby to have a third, and she's now nearly 6 weeks old. I feel more 'done' than I did with 2, but I don't feel ready to make any permanent decisions to rule out a 4th (vasectomy for DH for example). I don't even want to start getting rid of my boys' old clothes, but I'm pretty sure there'll be no more.

 

[Marumi]

Thanks for the reply guys! I've told hubby we need to wait until we decide for sure. The main issue is that hubby is 42 (I'm 33) so if we decide to have another baby he wants to do it soon-ish, not long after Isla turns 1. I guess that gives us 9 months to decide!

I hated being pregnant, I was sick the whole way through and had a terrible post nasal drip the whole time, and had a difficult delivery so my hubby is surprised that I am even slightly considering doing it all again!

Funny this thread should pop back up because we have now decided to have one more babe! We want Isla to have a sibling so we will be trying for baby #2 in September after our wedding.

That is great news! I was going to say before age 27 I was not sure I even wanted kids and now I want 4 I am 33 also but don't feel much in a rush. You both got time.

I was able to prevent hormone related pregnancy ailments this time around with diet, lifestyle and supplements for hormonal balance before conceiving. Who knows, your second pregnancy might be much easier

 

[Bevziibubble]

I am still not sure tbh! My first is very high needs and I put off having a second for so long as I was worried how I would cope. She has grown up quite a lot since his arrival but still BF and bedshares. I'm not sure I could BF and bedshare with 3 of them! We keep thinking maybe in a year we will start trying for a 3rd, but then I have a bad day with the kids or some money worries and I think maybe it's not a good idea after all

 

[Babybump87]

I always wanted two children.... had a bit of a wobble thinking how would I cope and would DD1 feel pushed out.. why I worried god knows. There best friends already!!.

I have two girls and would definitely like more now!!

 

[Dory85]

I always said I want 2 kids if we had one of each which is what we ended up with. Whilst pregnant with my second I always asked 'what if' and said I couldn't rule out the possibility of another... we mow have number 3 and I feel so content and accepting that this is our last baby. There are no what ifs this time. We are done and happy.

 

[keepinitreal1]

I never though about how many children I want to have, but now when DS is only 9 weeks I absolutely know that I want to give him a sibling. I loved being pregnant, birth was quick&easy and I was back to my old self in a week or so, so that part doesn't scare me.

Now to break the news to DH...

 

[staralfur]

I knew I was going to have two kids up until my LO was about 3, and then I started questioning it, because I still wasn't even remotely ready to start trying and I didn't "crave" having another child yet.

I've known now for a few months that I'm done at one. We're starting to plan some fun trips again as both my husband and I love to travel, and I can't imagine trying to travel a bunch with another kid, and I definitely don't want to put it on hold another few years. I guess my priorities have just changed. It also took me a LONG time to feel like myself and like I had some independence again (I'd say up until the past year and my LO is 4 now) and I don't want to rewind that.

I still like the idea of having another baby in theory but when I actually imagine how my life will change again it's not something I really want.

I suppose my mind could always change again, I don't know if anyone can ever really rule that out unless they're physically unable to have or emotionally unable to care for more kids. I did a complete 180 when it came to deciding I only wanted one, so who knows, I guess!

 

[eva1978]

After having my first baby (a boy) I knew that I did want to try for another, but I was nowhere near ready to try until my first born was 18 months old. I needed a 'break' from the whole being pregnant and breastfeeding and just wanted to get 'back to normal' for a while! We tried for #2 though ended up with an early mc. Tried again and pregnancy was successful - another boy, 3 year gap

I wasn't sure I wanted to try for a third but never felt like we were done. DH always wanted more kids. We decided to try but I lost that pregnancy in a missed miscarriage. I wasn't sure I wanted to try again but decided to go for it, and now I'm 35 weeks pregnant with what will be baby #3 (2.5 year gap between last baby and this next one).

I think we'll be done after this - don't care if it's another boy or a girl this time. It's more that I'm in my late 30s now, suffered two miscarriages, also trying to keep my career going, and I'm finding it a bit exhausting (though I like it lol). Also very expensive to travel and our families live overseas. At some point you gotta throw in the towel. I'm going to look into getting an IUD after this birth, probably.

 

[dani_tinks]

We are 100% done. Thought we would be after one, but decided our son would probably like to have a sibling. Now the thought of being pregnant again makes me want to run for the hills. Definitely no more for us

 

[Ganton]

We are 100% done. Thought we would be after one, but decided our son would probably like to have a sibling. Now the thought of being pregnant again makes me want to run for the hills. Definitely no more for us

I actually wish I felt like this, but I just can't help feel a little sad that I won't ever be pregnant or give birth again. When I was actually pregnant, there were so many bits I didn't enjoy, but it just think pregnancy and birth is amazing.

 

[VickyLou]

My other half was done at one. I wasn't so sure, I always said maybe when our daughter is about 3 we would think about it. I always said I wouldn't actively try again though as it took 8 years last time I couldn't go through that again. Then we got a huge surprise, I'm 29 weeks pregnant with our second daughter, my first is just 18 months. I know I'm done cause my first pregnancy and labour was horrific, I wasn't happy about this pregnancy cause it was too soon after my daughter and I'm still terrified of what's to come and know I just won't be able to go through all these emotions again. Plus my other half is adamant he's going for the snip as soon as she arrives.
I say I'm done but I can't bring myself to be sterilised so I'll leave him to sort himself instead lol