How did you manage first few weeks AFTER labor and delivery?

[Vrinda]

Hi

This is my first pregnancy and have been reading a lot since I do not have much experience so trying to learn from books and forums and from family, friends etc. on what to expect ...

Thing is, I live with my husband and no one else in family stays with us. In-laws live about an hour from here. And my parents are in India...
In short most our family and close friends live quiet far.

So pretty much we are on our own.

I need some advice from mothers regarding this.

Do you think I should invite someone to stay over after my labor and delivery? Or will we be able to manage things on our own?
At the most my husband can get upto 1 week leave from work, postpartum.


Almost everyone I speak with has told me that it is not easy to manage on my own and that I will need someone to look after me and baby, atleast for few weeks after delivery.


Was anyone in similar sitatuion? How did you manage first few weeks?

 

[BabySeal]

At the time the FOB lived with me but TBH I was doing it all on my own. Days, nights, all of it. My mom would pop over during the day for a few hours when she could make it. But I managed it just fine, not to say it wasn't exhausting.

When you are the only one to count on at times, you really do pull strength from deep down.

It is nice to get a break, so if you can have someone come help out I say go for it!

Good luck!

 

[chloeandbaby]

i suppose it depends on how the birth goes, like if you ended up having a C- section for example you may need more help around the house etc... normal birth id say you still need help but in different ways.. like i was an emotional wreck for the first month so i had my mom come over every other day just to take LO off my hands!!

my husband went to work after the first 2 weeks and it was hard and it helped having my mom there

xxx

 

[Vrinda]

All my family is eager to help, but I am just figuring if we can do on our own. I would probably have family visiting at some point, but still want to be prepared on own as much as I can.

Thank you for replies

 

[Destiny08]

i managed on my own for 2 weeks until my DH got here then he was here for 2 weeks and now i've been doing it alone for another 2 you do manage especially if you have no choice but to.

that said, it would be easier to manage with help! so if you can get someone to stay once your husband goes back to work, it might be worthwhile! jus so you can get into a routine etc

 

[babybaillie]

If you have a normal delivery u will be tired for anything up to a week. But u would beable to manage. Though i wouldnt rush about doing housework etc. when hubby goes back to work, just concentrate on u and buba. and let him do the rest.

If u end up with a c/s u would need longer to recover and someone coming to stay would be a god send

 

[PAgal]

OH had the 1st 10 days off (5 days after we got home from the hospital) and he could leave the house and get us whatever we needed, groceries, dinner, etc. I had a c-section so needed his help some, I was very sore, but was fine on my own when he went back to work. I was fortunate that my parents live very close and could come and go whenever, and would stay only long enough for me to get a shower, do laundry, etc. (which also helped keep my sanity, to be able to take short breaks to do "normal" things). But not having that I would recommend you have a guest lined up for that week after OH returns to work, mainly because you just won't have much hands-free time to get anything done.

 

[Piper84]

I'm in a similar situation in that our families live really far away, but it really depends how your labour is! I had an episiotomy and relatively normal birth, stayed two nights at the hospital with DH and DH took two weeks off.

My nesting instinct kicked in after LO was born so I really wish I'd got our flat sorted before he was born as being alone with a baby you have little to no time for housework!

It's a challenge, but when it comes down to it two people are enough at the beginning. Beware of having people to stay over (as opposed to just visiting) in the beginning though as it can get irritating, especially the parents and in-laws.

Good luck and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy

 

[Lilly12]

My DH was only a few days off.. and my family lives overseas and I don't get along with my inlaws.
I didn't have anyone to help me but I managed just fine by myself tbh.
I guess it just depends on how your labor and delivery went, I had a gentle but long home birth and a few stitches.
Just don't try to do much !
Focus and you and your baby and let that be it.

Good luck!

 

[BabyBoyNYC]

thank god my husband took two weeks off after delivery! I tore really bad and could barely walk and then my breast became engorged it was awful, he did everything which then made me an emotional wreck because i felt like i wasn't bonding with my baby. anyways he was a great mr. mom so thankful for everything he did. we also had family visiting for over two months so that helped

 

[Vrinda]

thank god my husband took two weeks off after delivery! I tore really bad and could barely walk and then my breast became engorged it was awful, he did everything which then made me an emotional wreck because i felt like i wasn't bonding with my baby. anyways he was a great mr. mom so thankful for everything he did. we also had family visiting for over two months so that helped

Hey thats really sweet of him for especially a first time father
Its our first so will see how it goes I know all men are different
I'm getting my husband involved..read and watch about stuff so that he be prepared as well

 

[georgebaby1]

I was an emotional wreck and i wish i had someone there who could of helped me

 

[Seity]

We don't have any family nearby. The closest is a 5 hour drive and it's just some aunts and uncles on my husband's side. My MIL came up after the birth and stayed with us for 3 weeks. She arrived 1 week after the birth because he came early and her plane tickets weren't until then, but it was fine just me and my OH that week. He'd never even held a baby before our son was born, but we managed just fine. I love my MIL and we get along fabulously, so I did not have a problem with her sleeping on our couch.
I had a natural birth (with drugs) and a 2nd degree tear, but I was fine. Up and around right after the birth and didn't need any pain meds at all.

 

[minkymoo]

I found managing DD ok, but I had a birth that wasn't part of the plan with a huge cut and tear and a prolapse and thus - once the initial adrenalin had worn off - ended up unable to get up and down or walk easily for at least a couple of weeks until it started healing. As others have said, I think it depends on the birth you have really..Good luck tho xx

 

[hinkybinky]

I think you will be fine in week 1, but might need a pair of hands in week 2. My OH had 2 weeks at home with us before he went back to work. I had an episiotomy and was quite sore, but managed fine, as others have said it would be different if you had a cs and had to recover.

As long as you're prepared for your sleep pattern to completely alter (I ended up on a 3 hour sleep pattern with the baby!) and for your house to be an absolute state then you will be fine. I cherish that first few days we spent alone with our first-born, all 3 of us getting used to our new family life. It was a really special and personal time and I'm not sure I'd have liked my mum / MIL being a part of that.

 

[madcatwoman]

i tore and had stitches which took 5 weeks to heal, i felt that ruined LOs 1st weeks for me,i couldnt sit for more than a few secs to feed him, so DH had to.
But,his 1st weeks were EASY!,all he ever wanted to do was sleep, so very uneventful few weeks really.

perrsonally i wouldnt have wanted anyone else at home, but you may be different.

 

[brunette&bubs]

i needed a lot of help.
my mom stayed with us for a couple of weeks and just did laundry, kept things tidy, and entertained the baby if i needed a break.
my MIL also did laundry and made us some dinners.

I still need help at times.
I think help is VERY necessary!

 

[raylynn]

My husband had to go back to work three days after we got back from the hospital, so my mom came over to help for the rest of that first week. I had a c-section and we live in a two story house, so I stayed most of the time upstairs where the bed and bathrooms are for that first week. Once I was able to get up and down the stairs during the second week I was pretty much doing everything on my own. It was really nice having my mom come during the beginning because I could just tell her what I wanted done and she would do the laundry and the dishes while I took care of lo.

 

[Braven05]

The only thing I liked was family/friends brought food so we didn't have to think about food. OH had a week off and other than that we managed...the only nice thing was not having to think about meals...and maybe someone to help pick up/do some chores.

 

[Newbieplusone]

Hiya,

As others mentioned it depends on your delivery really. I had 48 hours of contractions that ended in an emergency c-section and 4 days in hospital, OH had to go back after the weekend we came home and although my family live close l didn't want people there all the time. I think your adrenalin and maternal instincts kick in and you just cope - even when your in pain, tired and/or emotional somehow you find the strength so do what you need to do!

If you can get help and are willing to have someone around then that is great and don't worry if you can't; l think nature just helps you cope. Bear in mind though that help you need, usually round the house etc can soon lead to them concentrating on baby...lol. Just be clear on what kind of help you need but that just may be my experience...;-)

Good luck and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!