How did your family react to a second pregnancy?

[katy1310]

We are about to start TTC #2 - eek. Terrified, but the obstetrician has said we should go for it, and that no pregnancy is risk-free, also that I'd be watched like a hawk next time.

I know my parents went through hell last time when both Sophie and I nearly didn't make it, and now I'm a parent, I know what it must have felt like for them. I'm not sure how they will react if and/or when I do get pregnant again. My mum has said a few times that she never wants to go through that again but I think more in a "thank goodness it turned out the way it did" way rather than "I never want you to get pregnant again" - if that makes sense! I know it's just because she cares.

How have other people's parents/well-meaning friends reacted?

I'm scared about trying again, especially if we had another preemie, it wouldn't be fair on Sophie if we had to spend 3 months again travelling 120 miles a day to see the baby - or wouldn't be fair on the other baby if we didn't visit as much as we did with Sophie.

Aaargh, it's such a scary time, but we really do want to do this. Part of me is holding back a bit though. When we last talked about it, we decided we would start trying after we get back from visiting my brother and SIL - and we're away there next week.

Eeeeeeeep.

 

[AP]

and woo hoo to the bravery!

I found most of my friends silent and scared to say anything, perhaps they just didnt know the right thing to say?

MIL was a different kettle of fish and after the "how could you be so stupid" rant she had at me, I refused to tell her anything during my pregnancy, no progress, just "everythings fine!" It meant less stress for me. I ended up just acting normal round family, like I had no worries, and others began to believe it.

Right from the start I worked out who I wanted around me, that included the girls on here, and my preemie friends. They knew the right words to say, they knew how sensitive I would be really. At 7 weeks I posted my scan viewable only to selected folk, it was something I never would have done pregnancies before but I never knew how long it was going to last and I wanted to make the most of it. Even then, I kept a lot to myself, didnt want to share much, hence the secrecy of the name, sex and the wedding.

My mummy was quietly supportive but I guess she had been there too, and again she had a term baby after a preemie so she had faith.

 

[katy1310]

Thank you for your reply and the hugs I don't feel at all brave

It took 2.5 years to get pregnant last time, and I'm already 36 so don't want to leave it much longer.

I'm so scared!!!!! But I desperately want another and I think Sophie would make a lovely big sister.

 

[Srrme]

We didn't tell our families until I was 28 weeks. They were all surprised, but took it well.

 

[Foogirl]

We're trying again. Oddly it was my mum who persuaded me finally. She lost her first at 38 weeks, and pointed out that if she'd taken the same view, she would never have had the three she did have and we've made her life complete.

Can't argue with at logic!

 

[Agiboma]

Well i told my sister last week i was pregnant and her exact words where " ooo no, ooo no not again" she proceeded to say "i cant do this again, running up and down to the hospital every minute, your on your own". My mother on the other hand took it well.

 

[katy1310]

Well i told my sister last week i was pregnant and her exact words where " ooo no, ooo no not again" she proceeded to say "i cant do this again, running up and down to the hospital every minute, your on your own". My mother on the other hand took it well.

Awww no, really? Glad your mum at least took it well xx

 

[gemlou86]

We didn't tel anyone until I was 16 weeks but everyone was happy.

Good luck xx

 

[kelly6407]

Nobody seemed thrilled or happy when we told them we were preg again.

My sisters reaction was, NO why? U can't be!

My grans reaction was, what! How stupid can u be!


And hubby's side haven't even congratulated me!


Think the in laws and my grans reaction was more about the fact it's my 3rd baby whereas my sister was more about the fact my last was a preemie and we both were in danger etc.

Don't worry about if u have another preemie and spending time with each child! It's something u may have to do but it's for such a short time really in the long run and ur child gets a sibling forever!

 

[vermeil]

We`re ttc #2 now so I read your replies with interest. I just started our first iui cycle this month so fingers crossed! We'll definitely wait quite a while before telling anyone

 

[AP]

It's such a shame some of us feel we have to keep the news on the low in case others have negative reactions should be a happy time, as worrying as it is.

to all, and kelly! 27weeks tomorrow!

 

[dizz]

I broke the news to my lot last night - needed to do it as advance as possible so they're aware to keep diaries freeer than they normally would (more than anything else if it ends in MC we might need babysitting services) - mainly in case it ends up in another preemie, we WILL need practical help this time.

My mother's comment was only "I'm impressed you've managed to do THAT with a baby keeping you up all night"... my stepfather I think is still passed out on the kitchen floor.

The potential iffy comments will come from the in-laws who we haven't told yet (their diaries get less jammed up if we need help at short notice).

 

[Lottie86]

My Mum went absolutely ballistic at me and I had hours of'how stupid are you?!' etc etc Dad was slightly better and did less shouting at me down the phone thankfully.

 

[Agiboma]

^^^^ nice to hear your ttc again vermeil, what is vincent up to these days?

 

[BleedingBlack]

I was told we were idiots. This little one im pregnant with was a total surprise. But yeah some family and friends said we were very stupid.