How did your first baby affect yours and DH's relationship?

[MegGem]

I have to admit, this whole first pregnancy thing, get's me a little scared of the big change. DH and I have such a great relationship, and I'm worried about that changing. Do you really grow so much closer and more in love after your first babies birth? How do things change? I'm going to miss the times we can just pick up and go camping or shopping or whatever we want! We have so much fun together. And does DH look at you differently after? For those of you who have gone through it already...

 

[danni2609]

Me and my OH got married last year so id defo say brought us closer!

 

[tucsontechsan]

For us, we couldn't have sex for quite awhile after I had the baby. It just hurt way too much and we drifted apart so much to the point that I kissed another guy. I felt horrible about it and told him. He was pretty mad at first but then we talked and it made us realize how much we had grown apart. We still loved in each other, but we weren't all that "in love" with each other as we had been before. We then spent a great amount of time on just ourselves, when we could and really concentrated on us. Things have been great ever since. But it makes us aware of what can happen.

 

[glamgirl]

My relationship with OH did change! Its not like before anymore. We argue more, but i still do love him and so does he (well thats what he says). It does change your life when you have baby, for me personally there is NO time that we spend together at all. My entire day is spent with LO! When he has a nap i just sleep for a while. OH does night shift so he sleeps during the day.

So basically my whole life changed. I miss my old days terribly

 

[sparkswillfly]

So... far despite the lack of sex. We have become a lot closer and we are a lot happier. Im really looking forward to having my sex life back but with a newborn baby who knows whats going to happen. We live in a really small flat aswell so I think its going to be hard at first. Hopefully we will be strong enough to get through it.

 

[LaDY]

I don't think our love for one another changed at all. I barely get to spend time with him, he is working and i am looking after LO 24/7. Before we used to do everything together but now we can't...but its weird even though we miss it, at the same time it all seems so natural and just the way it is meant to be...but when LO is sleeping we get little quality time together...i think it just all falls in place. xx

 

[MegGem]

I appreciate all of these honest answers!

 

[mummymadness]

To be 100% honest We changed allot .
It wasnt so much in a bad way just a very different way , Sex went out the window and stress levels shot up .. But thats mainly down to lack of sleep and a new baby .
But with my 2nd child , We coped amazingly well and stuck like glue throu out .
So i guess for us ,It was just the first un known factor and shock that we struggled with .
It does get easier , And there is allways still them precious moments when you glance at each other and know its true love , Even through tiredness and the constant sick smelling odour that never changed .
Good luck . xxxxxxxxx .

 

[xJG30]

Didn't bring us closer.. more to the fact he left cause he couldn't handle my mood swings & that I couldn't deal with him being close etc

 

[Shifter]

Although LO isn't here yet our relationship has changed since we got our much desired

The first trimester was actually really up and down for us. Although we were both very happy about it it put a lot of pressure on our relationship. We had planned to move before we got pregnant but we got impatient so we suddenly had this pressure to make the move happen on a very limited time scale.

I won't lie, it was very touch and go in places and some of it has only recently come to light, I hadn't realised just how far we had drifted back then until 10 days ago.

BUT, and this is a big but, despite that, or maybe because of it, we are now much stronger and closer as a couple and I have confidence that we can get through all the challenges that will come after LO arrives.

 

[leeanne]

We actually drifted apart a bit. He was used to sole attention and didn't get it when our first was born. We actually separated for 5 months when my first was 17 months and I was 8 1/2 months pregnant with my second.

He finally grew up.

He was so much better with the pregnancy with Chase and has been wonderful since his birth.

 

[AppleBlossom]

In honesty it made our relationship go down the toilet. But that's not to say that happens to everyone

 

[MegGem]

okay now I'm getting scared! Would you say that your relationship was a little rocky before the baby and then it kept falling apart?

 

[Zarababy1]

Well having charlies definatly brought us closer together! we're so strong now i love him more than ever, before having charlie we used to argue alot we never spent that much time with eachother! he was great though my pregnancy but again we argued ALOT, as soon as charlie was born everything changed he was AMAZING while i was in labor, hes a wonderfull dad (STILL A LAZY ONE!!!) he makes me feel great about myself all my lumpy and bumpy bits and my streach marks!! our sex lifes great but it always has been!! we talk about everything! having a baby has totally completed us!! i suppose our relationship has changed but definatly for the better! seems im the only one!!!

i will add he did join the RAF a month after charlie was born so we only see eachother on a weekend! but we talk on the phone everynight! i dont know if having charlies changed us or beeing apart has made us relise how much we mean to eachother!!

how soppy i am

 

[leeanne]

No, it was great before. Just that in our case, he didn't get sole attention like he was used to. We were in our 30's too. Now he realizes that baby comes first.

 

[nikkip75]

well before i had daisy my dd2 me and oh lived apart, i lived in liverpool and he lived in coventry so when i was 8 months pregnant i moved to coventry to live with him, and since daisy was born we had become closer but in a different way, the sex life has changed, a lot! bit difficult with a little one climbing into bed with you nearly everynight and we are both really tired most of the time, but to be honest it doesnt really bother us, we know we still love eachother and dont need to be doing it like rabbits to prove that to eachother.

i think now we are so much more relaxed around eachother, i think it does change your relationship but its up to you how it changes, if you still can have a laugh together, you both want the same things and involve your oh as much as possible in looking after and bonding with your baby you will be fine.

goodluck

 

[AppleBlossom]

okay now I'm getting scared! Would you say that your relationship was a little rocky before the baby and then it kept falling apart?

No, we were fine. Had a few ups and downs but nothing major. However I think there are a couple of other issues that he's miserable aboout which doesn't help. Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you!

 

[MegGem]

hehe, no it's good to be honest though. It's good to be aware of what might happen and what to watch for!

 

[mummymadness]

Nope we were great before our first too .
But we must still be close as were on baby number 3 now lol lol lol .

In all Honesty , I still love my OH more than anything in the world , But some days we seem like Friends who love each other and share parental responsibilities .

Sex and closeness was the main thing that made it feel compleatley different , My relationship just changed from Fun spontanious to serious no time for ourselfs .

But i wouldnt be without Him . xxx .

 

[bigbelly2]

ours has gotten worse, we do still love each other but argue all the time!!

He just doesnt get the whole parent thing, putting someone else first etc, he still lives his life like hes a single man, no worries, no cares and puts himself first all the time. He has really struggled with the new addition doesnt cope well at all and is always stressed i suppose thats what you get from being spoilt and not having to be responsible or accountable for anything due to his parents doing everything,,,,this could be a warning to all us moms with little boys!!

h x