Snufflepop
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- Mar 26, 2013
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Hello ladies,
I would really appreciate your advice on how to handle a tricky situation. Apologies if this is long!
The background is this,
I have a 13 month old dd and we have just found out we are expecting no 2. We are thrilled as this new baby will complete our family.
The hard part is that I have a step sister who is ten years older than me and who has had 5 failed ivf attempts and who is coming to terms with not having children. My first pregnancy was terrible for our whole family. She could barely look at me and pretty much avoided me for 9 months and has still to this day barely seen my dd. I spent the whole 9 months feeling guilty for my pregnancy and that I had hurt her even more than she was already hurting. My poor step mum was stuck in the middle between being happy about becoming a grandma and being upset for my sis.
I told my sister I was pregnant in person last time (on the advice of my step mum) and it was awful, she burst into tears and then said 'oh well, 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage anyway". I realise it is just her pain talking but it still wasn't a nice experience for me and my dh was upset by the comment.
I have been wondering how I should break the news to her this time? Everything I read says that email is the best way to break the news because you can write a personal message and the recipient can react to the news however they need to in private before seeing you face to face. I don't think my step mum will approve of this though and would probably prefer me to tell her face to face again.
I don't know what to do for the best. I know the news will hit her hard and if I can make it even slightly easier for her to handle then I will.
What would you ladies do?
Thanks for reading if you got this far!
I would really appreciate your advice on how to handle a tricky situation. Apologies if this is long!
The background is this,
I have a 13 month old dd and we have just found out we are expecting no 2. We are thrilled as this new baby will complete our family.
The hard part is that I have a step sister who is ten years older than me and who has had 5 failed ivf attempts and who is coming to terms with not having children. My first pregnancy was terrible for our whole family. She could barely look at me and pretty much avoided me for 9 months and has still to this day barely seen my dd. I spent the whole 9 months feeling guilty for my pregnancy and that I had hurt her even more than she was already hurting. My poor step mum was stuck in the middle between being happy about becoming a grandma and being upset for my sis.
I told my sister I was pregnant in person last time (on the advice of my step mum) and it was awful, she burst into tears and then said 'oh well, 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage anyway". I realise it is just her pain talking but it still wasn't a nice experience for me and my dh was upset by the comment.
I have been wondering how I should break the news to her this time? Everything I read says that email is the best way to break the news because you can write a personal message and the recipient can react to the news however they need to in private before seeing you face to face. I don't think my step mum will approve of this though and would probably prefer me to tell her face to face again.
I don't know what to do for the best. I know the news will hit her hard and if I can make it even slightly easier for her to handle then I will.
What would you ladies do?
Thanks for reading if you got this far!