How do I convince DH that co-sleeping won't kill a baby?

[mysticdeliria]

Hi all,

I am a co-sleeping fan (my parents did it with all 7 of us), DH WAS on board until a few weeks ago when we had our first MW visit and got a package with a pamphlet entitled "Always on their back, alway in their own bed" and now he thinks it's unsafe. It is now quite a contentious issue and I'm almost at the point of saying I'm co-sleeping with or without you! We still have a ways to go in the pregnancy, so we have time to sort it out, but do any of you have any ideas that might help convince him that co-sleeping is not sure infanticide? Thanks a lot!!

 

[mommyof3co]

I think this is a pretty good article

https://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000.asp

and

https://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t102200.asp

 

[kirmal12]

Could you not compromise like i have done with my OH and HV, and get a co-sleeping cot next to your bed or adapt your cot?. Little one is still right next to me but safe in his "nest" and happy cause he loves having his face next to mine, lol.

 

[mysticdeliria]

I think this is a pretty good article

https://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000.asp

and

https://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t102200.asp

Thanks! Articles are great, I will see if they work! I had no idea that co-sleeping was sooo beneficial!

 

[mysticdeliria]

Could you not compromise like i have done with my OH and HV, and get a co-sleeping cot next to your bed or adapt your cot?. Little one is still right next to me but safe in his "nest" and happy cause he loves having his face next to mine, lol.

I noticed an ad for this in the articles above. Do you have any recommendations? Money is a bit of an issue for us right now, so I'm hesitant to spend a couple hundred dollars on one of these, although I do really like the idea. Thanks a lot for the suggestion!

 

[Nic1107]

How about a Snuggle Nest, if your bed is large enough? It keeps LO in his/her own space, but is less prohibitive cost-wise and doesn't take up extra space in the bedroom.
https://www.babydelight.com/

 

[kirmal12]

Could you not compromise like i have done with my OH and HV, and get a co-sleeping cot next to your bed or adapt your cot?. Little one is still right next to me but safe in his "nest" and happy cause he loves having his face next to mine, lol.

I noticed an ad for this in the articles above. Do you have any recommendations? Money is a bit of an issue for us right now, so I'm hesitant to spend a couple hundred dollars on one of these, although I do really like the idea. Thanks a lot for the suggestion!

To be honest we just adapted the normal cot so no more money was spent, we took the side off the cot and the mattress luckily is the same height as our bed, Hubby attached a piece of wood to strengthen the side that was taken off and then the cot is tight next to the bedside cabinet which in turn is pushed against the wall, so it wont go anywhere!!. Then using rolled up towels i made a nest so he can't go anywhere near where the mattresses meet but i still can be close by and have my face/hands next to him.

It works for us he is so content and doesn't need any help to get to sleep i would recommend it. I have a couple of issues with feeding but sleeping is no problem!!

 

[Janidog]

How about a Snuggle Nest, if your bed is large enough? It keeps LO in his/her own space, but is less prohibitive cost-wise and doesn't take up extra space in the bedroom.
https://www.babydelight.com/

Thats the one i think i'll be trying out as i don't have space between the wall and the bed big enough for a cot

 

[thelilbump]

we had the snugglenest and they're fab! It was a total godsend for those first few months. You'll have to get used to sleeping with one pillow though if you currently use 2 as the second one can be too high and go above the nest iycwim? It does take up a fair bit of room and you may have to sleep on your side the most part but you'll probably be that tired you would sleep on a rock stood up anyway!

 

[Rachel_C]

You know, I'd be tempted to say don't even bother discussing it until your LO arrives. Once your OH sees you cuddled up next to each other in bed, he won't want to disturb you and he'll love seeing you together. If he did still have issues with it then, you could discuss it then. We've found that theory and practice are very different - I would never have considered co-sleeping before Leyla was born because I had read that it was dangerous, but once the reality of having a baby kicks in you often feel very different about things! I once woke up to find that OH had heard Leyla wake in the night and had sneaked her into our bed... he thought I would shout at him, so when I woke up he was desperately trying to hide her!!! Once I saw her snuggled up to him, I couldn't say no and I now bring her into our bed most mornings when she wakes. You just have to make sure you do it safely, which is very possible.

 

[lfernie]

I think they're are a couple of snugglenests for sale in the buy, swap and sell section just now x

 

[Nic1107]

I love the little night light that comes on some models of the Snuggle Nest, it's great to be able to check on baby without turning on the bedside lamp. Carmen's nest plays music as well, and "womb sounds". Spoiled baby! lol

 

[mysticdeliria]

How about a Snuggle Nest, if your bed is large enough? It keeps LO in his/her own space, but is less prohibitive cost-wise and doesn't take up extra space in the bedroom.
https://www.babydelight.com/

Ooooh, I really like this idea! It's compromise with the compromise! Thanks a ton for this suggestion!!! Which souped up model do you have and how much did it cost you? Your daughter is adorable btw!

 

[mysticdeliria]

I think they're are a couple of snugglenests for sale in the buy, swap and sell section just now x

Thanks, I'll check it out!

 

[mysticdeliria]

we had the snugglenest and they're fab! It was a total godsend for those first few months. You'll have to get used to sleeping with one pillow though if you currently use 2 as the second one can be too high and go above the nest iycwim? It does take up a fair bit of room and you may have to sleep on your side the most part but you'll probably be that tired you would sleep on a rock stood up anyway!

Thanks for the tips. We needed a new bed so bad this year and just bought a king size, so we could sleep as a family (yes, before DH changed his mind). I hope it will be enough room!

 

[mysticdeliria]

You know, I'd be tempted to say don't even bother discussing it until your LO arrives. Once your OH sees you cuddled up next to each other in bed, he won't want to disturb you and he'll love seeing you together. If he did still have issues with it then, you could discuss it then. We've found that theory and practice are very different - I would never have considered co-sleeping before Leyla was born because I had read that it was dangerous, but once the reality of having a baby kicks in you often feel very different about things! I once woke up to find that OH had heard Leyla wake in the night and had sneaked her into our bed... he thought I would shout at him, so when I woke up he was desperately trying to hide her!!! Once I saw her snuggled up to him, I couldn't say no and I now bring her into our bed most mornings when she wakes. You just have to make sure you do it safely, which is very possible.

That's good advice. I think that if my "gentle nudging" now doesn't put him back on my side, I'll drop it for now. I'll just bring baby to bed on occasion once it's here...he sleeps like a log and probably won't even notice!!

 

[mysticdeliria]

Ladies, if you get a chance, please weigh in on the co-sleepig poll in my journal (link is at the bottom). Yeah, I know I'm skewing the numbers by asking pro-co-sleepers, but I'm gonna prove my point....even if the stats are shakey, LOL!!

 

[ryder]

The snugglenests and bedside cots etc are very good and a safe option. Whether your co-sleeping or not, young babies should not have lots of big fluffy blankets around and their mattress should be firm for safety. Your DH may have other personal reasons he has started thinking about which are deterring him too. In the end everyone should be happy with a decision though, and if you are concerned trying to sit down and talk about the concerns without getting upset is important... Thats JMO though.

 

[Nic1107]

How about a Snuggle Nest, if your bed is large enough? It keeps LO in his/her own space, but is less prohibitive cost-wise and doesn't take up extra space in the bedroom.
https://www.babydelight.com/

Ooooh, I really like this idea! It's compromise with the compromise! Thanks a ton for this suggestion!!! Which souped up model do you have and how much did it cost you? Your daughter is adorable btw!

Thanks! We have the snuggle nest supreme; I think it ran me about $80 USD.

 

[purple_socks]

thought u might want to look at this...

https://www.cosleepingsurvey.com/Inthenews.html

also i agree with rachel_c...practice and theory r totally different so u might find OH feels differently once LO is here. i said i would never co-sleep but i do. There were quite a few things i'd planned to do/not do but once Kian arrived it felt more natural to do something different to what i'd planned!

i don't think it hurts to show OH the facts etc but don't worry too much if he's not on the same wave length as u at this stage. i remeber my DH saying he'd never even consider using cloth nappies and that he though they were a really gross concept but we curretnly have aload hanging on the washing line