How do people react to your pregnancy decisions?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by MrsRohner, Jun 4, 2013.

  1. MrsRohner

    MrsRohner Well-Known Member

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    I find it so frustrating that people always judge me for the decisions I am making while pregnant! Like not taking medication (like Tylenol even though I get headaches) or not eating soft cheeses or lunch meat or not drinking coffee...all of that is my choice! I don't care if other people do but I have chosen not to. Yet I always get a smirk or an eye roll or a stupid comment from people if I mention it! I hate talking about things because I don't want peoples reactions! Does that happen to you or am I surrounded by rude people?!
     
  2. bekkie

    bekkie Mommy Due Sept 20

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    I don't mention it unless I'm put in a situation where I have to, because there is always someone who needs to say something, regardless of what it is - though mine is typically "are you sure you can have that" and it gets worse once baby is out... then people you don't even know start saying things when you haven't even asked for their opinion! lol
     
  3. LoraLoo

    LoraLoo Pregnant with a Rainbow

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    With my first baby i would get smirks or comments like 'just wait and see, you will change your mind when the baby comes' etc if i mentioned something i would/wouldnt do when baby arrived. Used to piss me right off!

    Now im on my 7th baby people dont tend to say anything :haha:
     
  4. ArmyJsGirl

    ArmyJsGirl Well-Known Member

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    The thing that irritates me most is when a friend of mine who is also pregnant tells me what I have to do and should do while pregnant. It's just annoying and rude sometimes. Like a couple nights ago we were talking and she asked what all I had so far for the baby and I told her. Like some things I have double of like I have two swings and two diaper bags, both were given to me as gifts and she goes oh are you going keep both? I said yes and explained why and told her I planned on keeping one of the swings at my in-laws and she told me I was being selfish by doing that because I could donate it somewhere for someone who really needs it that has nothing. I don't feel I am being selfish by keeping gifts that were given to me for one and two why does she care what I do with those things. She has everything and more that she needs for her baby, why shouldn't I?
     
  5. LoraLoo

    LoraLoo Pregnant with a Rainbow

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    Jealousy! x
     
  6. BubsMom17

    BubsMom17 Officially Expecting #2!

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    If you do one thing, people have something to say. Do another, people have something to say.

    "I don't drink coffee." - "Why? You know you can have some coffee, right?" OR

    "I drink coffee everyday." - "You know you shouldn't drink coffee, right?"

    :dohh:

    And agree that I hate people telling me I will change my mind "once the baby comes."

    I had that all the time with my son... "I am going to have an all natural labor." - "Yeah, you'll change your mind. You'll be begging for that epidural." WRONG!!!

    This time it's, "I am going to breastfeed for exclusively for 6 months and continue to give breastmilk for a year." - "Yeah, we'll see once the baby gets teeth." :dohh: :growlmad: Everyone should just SHUT UP!!! :ignore:
     
  7. bekkie

    bekkie Mommy Due Sept 20

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    Oh my gosh... the 'how long are you going to continue to breastfeed' comments started to get the better of me... (2 years and happy with it!) we bfed on demand for the first 6 months and you'd swear I was killing people by the way some people reacted to the lack of feeding routine!!

    'how is daddy going to bond with the baby if you don't let him bottlefeed' right... because feeding is the only way to bond with the baby - not cuddling, or bathing, or changing... nope... just feeding.
     
  8. nyaonyaokat

    nyaonyaokat Well-Known Member

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    I get the opposite with the epidural thing. I really want one and finally found a hospital that MIGHT do it for me, and everyone I know here says things like "oh your poor baby!" or "why don't you wanna try hard for your baby? poor kid". Drives me nuts. Even some of my American friends say things like 'Oh you really should just give it a try natural and if it doesn't work out you can always get an epidural next time'.

    Piss off.

    Its like people think their birthing experience is what all other women's will be like. No two people are exactly the same so why would labor be any different? People should just keep their mouths closed, methinks.
     
  9. undomestic

    undomestic ~Baby girl due November~

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    It's soo annoying..
    My solution has been, as much as possible, not talk about my plans or what I'm doing. If I want someone's opinion, I'll ask for it..

    I've had one or two people give me a little flack about choosing a midwife over an OB-GYN (it's a newer practice around here to use a midwife), and after that I decided to just not mention it.. I do a lot of research before I make my decisions.. and if I'm happy with them, what does it matter what other people think
     
  10. brittanyodett

    brittanyodett Second Trimester

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    People will be people. Your blessed to get those gifts!
     
  11. Glitter_berry

    Glitter_berry Mum of 2, 1 Pink, 1 Blue

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    Yep!! It annoys the crap out of me.
    I haven't changed my diet and I keep getting oh you should be eating all these things ( that I don't like ) because you are depriving your child. I don't eat salad whoopty do!

    Omg did you really just drink that vanilla coke? YEP and it was delicious compared to to fifty thousand litres of water I have been drinking!!

    Are you still looking for a bassinet, such and such said she will sell you hers its just in storage. " thanks, but if just prefer to buy the one I want online" only to get the reply.
    " on you're too good to have second hand stuff like the rest of us" ( I have bought so many things second had, who care if I want the pretty bassinet)

    People are stupid.
     
  12. nyaonyaokat

    nyaonyaokat Well-Known Member

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    Ohhh goooddddddd I hate that.

    I've got a buddy with two twin 3 year old boys who keeps trying to pawn her old stuff on me. She's moving overseas soon and it costs a lot of money to throw away clothes and metal items here so I know exactly why she's doing it. Beyond clothes, a lot of the stuff is(really ugly tbh) train and car tables and chairs (that are scratched and stuff) that a kid won't even be able to use until they can walk and talk... and worn and faded blankets, etc. I don't even know if my baby is a boy or a girl yet so I told her she doesn't have to keep anything for me (she's moving before I find out the baby's sex!) to which she said "Oh even if it's a girl she won't know the difference! You're being stuck up!". I was pissed. So I'm stuck up because I want to shop for things for my first baby (who might be a girl) instead of taking all of your worn things cause you're too lazy and cheap to pay for recycling? Suck it, woman.
     
  13. Glitter_berry

    Glitter_berry Mum of 2, 1 Pink, 1 Blue

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    In th end I did buy a bassinet "second hand" it was never used and the exact one I wanted I saved myself over $100

    I also bought the pram I want for $150 second hand saving myself $200. I have the carseat that clips into it brand new in the box so te pram will be basically new for me.

    It's not like I didn't want second hand stuff I just didn't want HER stuff lol.

    I get what you mean.

    And what irks me is people who try to sell you stuff for cost price and its WELL used, they don't realise they are more rude for pushing it on us than we are for declining the offer.
     
  14. mhk425

    mhk425 Well-Known Member

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    Just yesterday I was at an all-day workshop for my teaching job, and they ordered in Jimmy Johns subs for lunch. I was just eating the chips and cookie and when people asked why, I told them I'm pregnant and it's not recommended I eat lunch meat. I was attacked! I'm not kidding--I had 5 people laugh at me like I was some kind of idiot and say, "Just eat it! I ate lunch meat and had 2/3/5 healthy kids." I responded that I was fine not eating it, but a few of them wouldn't let up! I almost got to the point where I felt like I must be crazy for not eating it and then thought, what the hell do they care? My chips and cookie were delicious! ;)
     
  15. nyaonyaokat

    nyaonyaokat Well-Known Member

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    Oh yeah I've got no issue at all with certain things coming second hand. But there is a huge difference between getting something second hand that you like and that is in good condition, versus getting a buttload of VERY worn things that aren't your style at all pawned off on you. It's like, well she got to go out and pick out everything she wanted, in the style she wanted, for her first babies... but if I want to do the same, I'm a prude? Not to mention the fact that it's all stuff for 2 - 3 year old kids and I don't have the storage to keep the stuff around for 3 or 4 years collecting dust until I would need it!
     
  16. MrsRohner

    MrsRohner Well-Known Member

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    I love all of these comments!! So nice to know we are all in the same boat. We get each other!!! :hugs:
     
  17. MrsRohner

    MrsRohner Well-Known Member

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    Oh my goodness this drives me crazy! I hate being told what I will or will not do (just in general it has always bothered me!) there is one woman in particular at work that tells me all the time with a belittling laugh that I need to just wait till I have a baby and see..blaH blah blah!! Want the slap her :haha:
     
  18. MrsRohner

    MrsRohner Well-Known Member

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    No way you're being selfish! That's crazy! You have every right in the world to have things for your baby and if that means have a second thing at your in-laws then so be it! People think they know what is right....just ridiculous.
     
  19. adopim

    adopim Tentatively expecting #3

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    I got an epidural last time (with my first) and have never once regretted it. I had a quite lonely pregnancy so I didn't get a lot of flack for it. I am going to get an epidural again this time and since more people are active in my life during the pregnancy I get comments too. Seriously, if I want an epidural who is anyone else to judge me on that? So what if you gave birth to "X" number of kids the all natural way.... As if they almost want a prize for it. Every woman is entitled to the birth option she wants and does not deserve judgement for it.

    I haven't changed too much of my diet, except I am eating less vegetables because I have been having some odd aversion to them since the beginning. I drink caffeinated beverages and will not apologize for it. I eat what I eat and that's that. Lol.
    If you don't want it you shouldn't have to take it. Most of the stuff for my baby is leftover things from my first daughter. We are pretty much set on 12mo-4T sizes but needed infant stuff. I bought a few things already but am going to be borrowing some from a friend too (she got boy and girl stuff from her sister, but is not pregnant or planning on kids in the very near future yet). I'll borrow the stuff as long as I can give it back when I'm done! Haha.

    That's why I didn't want to buy from this friend of mine's sister (see above). I didn't want to have to pay for well used clothes when I could spend a few extra dollars and get new stuff! Luckily, I can just borrow the stuff and give it back when I'm done.

    Your pregnancy, your choice. I choose to stay away from lunch meat (tho the first meal I want after baby comes is Erbert and Gerbert's!) and soft cheeses too. People think I'm weird for it.
    Also, we were going to get kittens(2) this spring, but due to the pregnancy we are not going to do it. I have had a ton of people ask me why..... "Mind your business, that's why" comes to mind a lot :dohh:
     
  20. 1toughmomma

    1toughmomma Member

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    sure is jealousy. totally agree
     

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