How do you deal with the fear that something may go wrong ?

[bizzibii]

I am constantly thinking about things going bad. After years of infertility and two miscarriages I am scared something will go wrong. The first trimester I was worrying about another ms, now I am worried my babies will come out too early or worse they will die. I am worried that one of the babies my have DS or some other problems and ( combination test was done however they are not very accurate with twin pregnancies).

Few weeks ago I was scared I could not feel them move, now I am scared because maybe I should feel them move more. ( I mean they are active but I cannot say I feel them all the time, on several occasions during the day for couple of minutes ).

Each appointment with the doctor went well . All is good , they say it is all going great but I cannot stop thinking it is too good to be true and something will happen.

Do I need a hobby or am I just crazy ?

 

[Kiwiberry]

I think we all feel that way sometimes. Best thing I can suggest is to just relax and take it one day at a time. I know it really is easier said than done. Having a hobby would help though. It would make it easier for you to take your mind off of things. I am actually thinking of taking up knitting and making my own baby quilt before she is born!

 

[nickyb]

Its understandable I think the harder the journey to get where we are the more we stress that's it's just to good to be true! Honestly I don't think that stops until that baby is in our arms, and then begins a new journey of worry.
Think positive tell yourself everyday your babies are perfect cos they are.

 

[Monzter79]

I don't think you're crazy! I don't know if a hobby will quell your anxiety- but I think talking about it is a really good start.

If the anxiety is stealing from your ability to enjoy your pregnancy- I might even seek out a professional ear too. You've been through a lot man! That's a lot.

Personally, I think you're one tough cookie. Never underestimate how strong you are. And, don't be afraid to think positively. You deserve it!!!

 

[shirlls]

I completely empathise as I am the exact same, I am 25 weeks pregnant with twins and keep worrying something will go wrong as I suffer from anxiety and there is all this info online, etc about twins being 'higher risk' for things like pre-term labour, etc which has worried me as I'd be anxious enough if I was only having the one baby. However what has settled my nerves and given me reassurance is, these risks are actually minimal and only slightly higher, not significantly higher. As you are having twins I am assuming you are being looked after and checked more by the hospital? That should help give you peace of mind as hospitals are less attentive to women with single births.

When I was pregnant with my son a few years ago, it was after 2 mcs it really felt like it was far too good to be true, and still does to this day! But all my fears during the pregnancy were totally unfounded and he is now a happy, healthy little boy and I am sure that this will be the case for you and your babies! It is just because loss is all you have ever known and associated with pregnancy, and pregnancy is overwhelming at the best of times even when you haven't been through what you have, so it is perfectly natural to be feeling anxious and for you to worry but it is important you don't let it take over.

Someone once said to me, and it helped, to try to live in the moment and if things are going well at the moment then accept things as they are at this very moment. There is also the famous quote, "most of the things we worry about never happen".

Re movements, I only feel slight movements for short periods of time every day and I had a scan a few days ago which showed all is well, so I wouldn't worry too much about movements, just as long as you are feeling them then that's the main thing.

A hobby is probably a good idea to keep you busy and keeping busy helps make time feel like it is going in quicker. I recently started a work from home business and I also have two friends weddings coming up shortly which are keeping my mind occupied, I have noticed my mind isn't running away with me as much now, and time is also seeming to go by slightly quicker too.

I am sure everything will go just fine, and you are 26 weeks so are reaching a stage where very little can go wrong compared to if you were a lot earlier in your pregnancy.

xx

 

[Angelbaby_01]

I am exactly the same and I know when baby is born I will start to worry about sids and autism etc etc etc. DD had viral meningitis at birth so I know I will be freaked about infections as well. I pray a lot and try to distract myself with doing things baby related to be more positive.

Big hugs hun! You made it this far! Xx

 

[messica]

....by realizing we have control over none of that, and worrying will not serve to avoid any of it

No matter what we do, at the end of the day what's meant to be will be.


I do think a hobby could help - or even several! Give your hands something to do and your mind will follow. There's also no shame in going to see a professional if your thoughts are becoming obsessive. You should be enjoying each day, not constantly dreading the worst which will happen if it's destined to, whether you worry it will or not

 

[Mrs Dragonfly]

It's impossible to not worry, but we just have to realize we're doing our best and growing these babies. First tri I was a nervous train wreck, this tri I've had moments of pure panic. The beginning of this week I wasn't having much movement so I was beginning to panic but last night she got super active when I was going to bed and has thrown me some kicks here and there today so I feel better about it.

A hobby wouldn't hurt, and try to remember it's all one day at at a time And congratulations on your twins!!

 

[bizzibii]

OH thank you Ladies, you are great. I did not mean to moan or anything. Just wondered whether I am being paranoid or maybe those feelings are kind of " normal " . Maybe speaking to someone will help but I guess realising that there is only so much I can do if anything does happen is better. One day at the time as you all said. One day at the time....

Congratulations on your pregnancies and wish you all a good luck xx

 

[Pinkie 33]

Its completely normal I worry everyday that something might happen, it all seems too good to be true somehow. That's why I bought a Doppler in the end. Until I felt regular movements I was very anxious, I still use it occasionally if they have been still for long periods of time

I think back to this time last year when I was still recovering from the shock of the molar preg and still being monitored before being allowed to do IVF again and thinking that it would never happen for us, it all seemed so far away and yet here I am now. We are bound to suffer some worry and anxiety after the journeys we have had.

I try to tell myself to relax and enjoy it now. Each week is another step closer xx