How do you deal with the opposition ?

[tigerlilly]

I'm planning a hb for my second after a traumatic experience with my ds. A hb feels so right i'm early in my pregnancy and have no plans to tell anyone what i'm planning but eventually the truth will out! What's the best way to deal with others fears and comments? I'm also planning hypno birthing and therapy x

 

[Button#]

It depends whose fears and comments you mean. If your OH has fears then showing him the research on it and explaining your reasons will hopefully help, as well as maybe watching some positive home births on YouTube. Other people I would just say this is what you're doing and you will answer any questions they may have but you're not going to be dissuaded. If you're in the UK then home birth is recommended for low risk 2nd pregnancies under the NICE guidelines so you should find your midwives to be on board unless there are risks.

 

[tallybee]

Wss.

Good luck hun hb is amazing x

 

[SarahBear]

The best way is to know your stuff. Research it so that when they have a concern, you have a factual counter-point. They might not be convinced, but at least you'll be able to hold your ground and maintain your sense of confidence because you'll know that although they have many doubts, their doubts and concerns aren't backed up by the actual information that is out there to support the safety of homebirth.

 

[NDH]

Good question. I don't do well with confrontation so I have no idea how I'll deal with opposition. I don't plan on sharing my intentions with many people though so I hope I don't have to deal with much.

 

[MrsG09]

Slightly different situation, as I'm not having a hb, but am using a midwife...
My sister (a nurse), after relaying a bunch of research to her, and she was still hesitant about me using a midwife, I basically told her to suck it. We won't be having a homebirth, and unfortunately moved so there are no stand-alone birthing centers near us, either (which was our original plan). Due to that, we will be going to a hospital. But I am still using a midwife and I have been reassured that their practice has really enlightened the nurses at that hospital to the ways of natural birth.

As for my MIL (also a nurse...NICU), DH seems to have decided we just aren't telling her. He said if it comes up, maybe. He's just kind of said, "have our appointment..." any time he provides her with info and leaves out the words midwife or doctor lol!

I haven't run into any others, but I don't really intend to share with many until after the fact. If this weren't our first (aka...if I knew how I was going to deal lol) and home-birth midwives were accepted at the hospitals here in case of complications, I would be considering a hb. However, they don't seem to be. In our former location, my midwife had rights to practice in two near-by hospitals (one across the street from her center), even assisting in c-sections if it were to come to that. Needless to say, I was pretty sad to be moving and leaving her!

 

[BabyCleo]

im having a natural hospital birth for my first, homebirth wasn't right for me for different reasons but I love the idea! My friend is having a homebirth and has come across many different opinions. Even my natural hospital birth has had "comments".

At the end of the day, people will have their opinions (educated and uneducated lol) and you just have to brush them off. My god, the things that have been said to me during my pregnancy!!!! I never realized how many people like to butt in and voice their opinions. Brush it off, you know whats best for you! You don't need anyones approval. It is YOUR body, YOUR baby, YOUR birth experience. Enjoy it!!

 

[bumphope]

My husband was a great 'Rottweiler' for me! If someone started to say something which sounded negative about our choice/birth in general, he said 'stop' firmly (might have been a bit blunt actually!) and told them we didn't want negatives. Maybe he was a bit rude, but it did really help me as I do tend to remember stories people tell me!! X

 

[rwhite]

I am rather selective about who I tell our plans to and who I don't - family is all aware of our plans. I have backed myself up by stating that this is our baby and my birth, and it is up to us...also citing the recent findings by the NICE, and giving local statistics on transfer etc. Also explaining that there will be two midwives in attendance, and that they will be vigilant in transferring me if any hint of a problem arises.

I also convinced DP by telling him that he can do anything he bloody well likes (sleeping, playing video games - whatever!) until the pushing stage and that there won't be any mad rush in the car because we will be at home

 

[ttc bubby no2]

I only told the people I trusted or knew were more like minded. The main opposition I had was with my family at first but this was due to being worried and not being fully informed. I asked my mum to watch the business of being born doco and that helped and I also asked her to come over when I had my midwife appointment so she could meet her.

I didn't tell my in-laws, partly because they never actually asked where I was birthing and just assumed, and also because I didn't want to deal with their reactions. I do think they would have been ok with it looking back but I just didn't want to take the risk of dealing with negativity.

 

[MummyToAmberx]

Best thing is just not to tell anyone who doesnt need to know.