How do you deal with the "so when are you having a baby," question?

[fitzy79]

God...how is trying for a baby for two months a miracle??!!! You have every right to be mad about that

My close friends all know my whole story and are very supportive. To everyone else I just say we'll be extremely grateful whenever it happens...think most people manage to read between the lines!!

 

[Zipp]

Ugh I hate people asking this so much as it's none of their business!

I usually lie and just say 'not yet' but then feel really quilty for beign so flippant about how precious a little bump would be.

x

 

[Cuffy]

I usually say we are getting round to it and if it happens it happens, sometimes I really feel like being rude and asking a similarly inappropriate question but so far have bitten my tongue, its generally at a low point that urge kicks in!

Good luck & baby dust xxx

 

[ttcbaby117]

cuffy I am so with you....a returned inappropriate question is defo. a remedy but then you are openign up a can of worms...i am sure they will look at you like wth is your problem ya know!

 

[Chris77]

I usually respond with, "We're working on it." Not too specific, doesn't mean we're infertile, doesn't mean we're fertile. It's kind of a blanket statement that covers all and people are always satisfied with that.

 

[Leila Fae]

I used to be evasive but now am honest and say we're trying but it's taking longer than expected.

Last night someone said to me "oh, lots of people have trouble these days". What, so that's supposed to make me feel better?! Grrr.

 

[caz & bob]

i just say when it happens xxxxx

 

[xMissxZoiex]

This is the worst question in the world, i keep answering .. Its not for us right now... or we want to save up at least so many thousand before we have a baby n what not... i just want to scream at people just to shut up we are trying and the disappointment at the end of the month is bad enough and having to go for tests isnt something im wanting to share with everyone its a personal thing for me and my DF to share and i dont want anyone else involved.. it does get very annoying. Especially when your having a nice day and everything is going great and the disappoinment of not being pregnant yet and the longing for a baby has eased just for a few hours someone will bring it up :/.

♥

 

[niusia]

i usually say we are trying but it seems more difficult than we thought. majority of people understands that it's tricky subject for us. what's more difficult is lack of any other subjects but children, pregnancy or related at any party even though not all our friends have them. the friends with kids seems to think i want nothing more than listen about their kids and talk about it.

 

[helen1234]

I used to say 'one day' and raise my eye brows,

My mum knows it took yrs of fertility last tome to get Rhys and she knows were repeati g the process again but still insists in saying ' bout tome you had another' think it's her way. Of asking are you still trying.

No-one else knows we've been trying since Rhys wad born, 16 months now eeeek.

 

[keepsmiling]

i just tend to say we wil c wot happens which is true lol xx

 

[cheerios]

OH man, I'm sooo dreading that question. Funnily enough the first person who asked me that was my hairdresser!!! She sees me once a yr and just asked cheekily when we're gonna have our own baby. I was like so taken aback, cos I completely didn't expect it coming from her. So instinctively, I just said "I'm still so young, don't want to have kids yet"....and she said "oh, ok.... pump more gas" - in chinese, which means, "Put in more effort!"...

I'm really thinking of just being honest and saying that we're trying, but having problems.... But I really dunno if I would really say that.... really depends on how I feel.

 

[bellaboo83]

When we go see my DH's family I have started telling them "We will have children after our trip to Europe". When they ask when we are going I say "I don't know".

It stops the questioning instantly....so tired of people assuming b/c we are the only married cousins without that they can ask us all the time.

 

[uwa_amanda]

When we go see my DH's family I have started telling them "We will have children after our trip to Europe". When they ask when we are going I say "I don't know".

It stops the questioning instantly....so tired of people assuming b/c we are the only married cousins without that they can ask us all the time.

I might actually steal your line! lol I may tweak it a little and say "We will have our first child after our 10-day Caribbean Cruise!"

I have been listening to this question for the nearly seven years we've been married. It has slowed down considerably, but I still don't like family get togethers anymore because of this. I am the only married grandchild with no children. It's not my grandmother asking, but my insensitive aunts and cousins.

 

[longing]

An old thread returned! I am an honest and open person and a terrible lier, so I just say we would like on but it hasn't happened yet. Generally people don't know what to say after that. Strange how this is still a taboo subject in our modern world

 

[futurephotos]

I used to say- "Well, as much as we want it- it isn't for us to decide when the time will come we don't have control over whether our efforts work or not... we're leaving it in God's hands."

 

[africaqueen]

I have been ttc for 2.5yrs with my hubby and for 4yrs previous to that with my ex, so have had this question asked MANY times! i find it a very personal question and ppl should not be so nosy but when dh and i married it was seen as the 'next step' and ppl often say 'no patter of tiny feet yet?' if its someone who i know in passing i always say 'oh no we like the high life too much, holidays and eating out etc' and if its someone i know better i say 'when we get our miracle but not for the want of trying ' an that usually shuts them up cos ppl get uncomfortable around illness or infertility ;-)
I pray this question is not one we dread in the future. Good luck ladies xxx

 

[wannabemummyb]

We got the question for ages, then we announced our wedding so people backed off a bit! MIL2b was the worst, til df told her about the pcos! He's basically told her we may not be able to have kids naturally, think she has spread the news on their side of the family!

Depending on who asks me and how many bfps are going around depends on my response. Sometimes i say "we actually see a specialist as we do not know if we can have kids" - the reaction is normally an apology. Otherwise i say "maybe after the wedding"

 

[Fur Mommy]

When we first starting ttc I was so excited so I told everybody that asked that we were trying. Now that it has taken so long I'm a lot more careful about who I tell. Sometimes I can't help but tell in a weak moment but it's easier if I don't because then comes the unwanted advice. So my new favorite reply is "My husband already has 3 kids, two dogs and me. His hands are pretty full and he isn't sure he can handle another one." Then I laugh, and change the subject, or walk away.

I finally became a member just so I could reply to this post. I know it's an old one and I loved seeing all of the people that have become parents since posting!

Hugs and to everyone!

 

[CanadianMaple]

I've been honest. We just received a severe IF diagnosis. We hope there is a way around it but it may never happen for us.