how do you feel?

[tinkerbell79]

hi everyone, i ended up having an emergancy d&C on thursday after bleeding really bad and collapsing after passing a very large blood clot, i also had to have a blood transfusion on friday due to losing too much blood....anyway i think i feel okay, but emotionally i feel abit weird. i dont feel upset or anything like that, i just feel abit empty and as if it was sort of a dream - like it didnt really happen or like it happened to someone else. Also i feel abit snappy with people and havent really got the patience to be around them...so i was wondering how do you feel?/how did you feel? xx

 

[estewart88]

I guess I went through the textbook stages of grief. Like you, in the beginning I felt pretty weird. I felt as though it hadn't really happened. I was in bed for a long time because of the pain and felt as though I was just unwell not that I'd just lost my baby. As soon as the pain was gone I was up and about getting on with my life as if it hadn't happened. Then it's like one day it just finally hit me. I felt angry at people because I felt they weren't really acknowleding it. I had very little patience or time for anyone because I felt nothing/nobody was important as my baby. I just wanted to be by myself. I then felt very depressed. All I could do was think about my baby and wish for him back. I went through that for a few weeks. It has been about 10 weeks since I had my miscarriage and now I am finally getting to the point I can think about him without crying and it doesn't completely consume my mind. I still miss him, I still wish for him back but I know I am reaching the stage of acceptance.

There is no right or wrong way to feel though. Everybody deals with it differently and you just have to let yourself feel whatever emotions come to you.

 

[ebony2010]

Still waiting to MC naturally but I can definately connect with the feeling thats it happening to someone else. Its surreal. x

 

[annmariecrisp]

hi everyone, i ended up having an emergancy d&C on thursday after bleeding really bad and collapsing after passing a very large blood clot, i also had to have a blood transfusion on friday due to losing too much blood....anyway i think i feel okay, but emotionally i feel abit weird. i dont feel upset or anything like that, i just feel abit empty and as if it was sort of a dream - like it didnt really happen or like it happened to someone else. Also i feel abit snappy with people and havent really got the patience to be around them...so i was wondering how do you feel?/how did you feel? xx

Oh I'm so sorry to hear of your loss honey, I remember you being very supportive of me with my last mc so I just wanted to say that I'm here if you ever want a chat or rant, etc.... be good to catch up xxx

 

[MissyBee]

My baby was 13 weeks when he or she died. I was able to feel my tummy growing, and after my D&C I just feel... empty. I'm heartbroken, and I can't stop crying whenever I'm by myself. More than anything, I feel disbelief. It's so surreal, so impossible. I find myself begging God for this all to be a horrible dream, for me to wake up and have my baby again. I'm losing my mind

 

[tinkerbell79]

My baby was 13 weeks when he or she died. I was able to feel my tummy growing, and after my D&C I just feel... empty. I'm heartbroken, and I can't stop crying whenever I'm by myself. More than anything, I feel disbelief. It's so surreal, so impossible. I find myself begging God for this all to be a horrible dream, for me to wake up and have my baby again. I'm losing my mind

Oh I'm so sorry hun, it is such an horrible thing and it's so hard as well as most people just don't really understand. Because they can't see it with their own eyes it's not real. For the first few days I think I was actually in shock, even now it sometimes feels like it happened to someone else and then in a split second I can break down and cry from the bottom of my heart.
I hope things start feeling a bit better for you soon hun. Are you waiting or trying? x

 

[Ilyjaylen2011]

I lost my baby at 17 weeks. At first I was terribly sad and down. I notice now (other people have too) that I'm quite angry and have no patience either. I try not to let my loss take a toll on my whole life, but it is quite hard.

 

[MissyBee]

I'm waiting. I can't try for a year anyway, since it was a partial molar pregnancy (I just found that out today after the labs came back). But I won't be trying for probably about 5 or 6 years at least. This time was unplanned, though not unwanted.

 

[tinkerbell79]

I lost my baby at 17 weeks. At first I was terribly sad and down. I notice now (other people have too) that I'm quite angry and have no patience either. I try not to let my loss take a toll on my whole life, but it is quite hard.

So sorry for your loss x

 

[tinkerbell79]

I'm waiting. I can't try for a year anyway, since it was a partial molar pregnancy (I just found that out today after the labs came back). But I won't be trying for probably about 5 or 6 years at least. This time was unplanned, though not unwanted.

Oh I'm so sorry hun x

 

[Missy]

I'm beginning to get my head around it but I still feel very low and I totally relate to the feeling that it's happening to someone else. I keep re-living that moment in the scan room when they told me. It makes me cry but I need to do it for some reason. I'm not angry at people (yet) but that's probably because I've barely been out since it happened so I've just been spending time with my husband and daughters and I will not be going back to work for at least another week. I suppose we all have to go through whichever emotions are thrown at us and the most important thing is not to try and deny those feelings however hard they are. I'm trying to do 'normal' things but little by little, like going to the shops or tidying the house and taking time out in between to sit with my own feelings. This feels right for me. Massive hugs to all. This site has been so supportive

 

[tinkerbell79]

I'm beginning to get my head around it but I still feel very low and I totally relate to the feeling that it's happening to someone else. I keep re-living that moment in the scan room when they told me. It makes me cry but I need to do it for some reason. I'm not angry at people (yet) but that's probably because I've barely been out since it happened so I've just been spending time with my husband and daughters and I will not be going back to work for at least another week. I suppose we all have to go through whichever emotions are thrown at us and the most important thing is not to try and deny those feelings however hard they are. I'm trying to do 'normal' things but little by little, like going to the shops or tidying the house and taking time out in between to sit with my own feelings. This feels right for me. Massive hugs to all. This site has been so supportive

i can totally relate to what you say about keep re-living the moment, i constantly replay it in my mind, even though it really upsets me, i just cant stop myself! One thing i would say although it may not seem like it, it is actually helping you (i had counselling before) and your brain keeps replaying it so that you can come to terms with it and except that it happened. Also the more you replay it then eventually the less painful it will be. Apparently its alot more healthier than putting it to the back of your mind and refusing to think about it...sorry for the ramble lol! x

 

[Missy]

Yes that makes a lot of sense. I'm glad then that it is helping me to do it because it bloody well hurts doesn't it? x

 

[tinkerbell79]

missy are you planning on trying again or are you waiting? x

 

[Missy]

Trying again as soon as I can. I'm 43 so I can't really allow myself the luxury of time unfortunately x