How do you know when bf is established?

[tinymumma]

I want to begin expressing. Not all the time, just so I can have a few glasses of wine on the weekend with OH and we can have some "us" time.
I've been told not to begin expressing and giving bottles until bf is established, otherwise he will get nipple confusion. I certainly don't want that all the stress, anxiety and sleep loss due to bf'ing to go to waste.
Also, how do you know if your boob is empty? I mean, they do go really soft with no lumps and I figure that's it but I'm still unsure as my LC said to make sure one boob is drained before you change to the next one

 

[christinelle]

Breastfeeding is established when you're not engorged anymore and baby feeds easily, usually around 6-8 weeks. The boob is never totally empty so you basically let the baby eat until (s)he comes off. You don't have to use both boobs at each feeding, when baby has lost interest on the first one you can offer the other but baby doesn't need to accept it every time.

 

[staralfur]

I would be more concerned about how skipped feeds would affect your supply in the early days than nipple confusion, personally. If you don't feel like you need to express at this point, then I would give it a few weeks.

 

[patch2006uk]

Honestly, I'd just have the wine. If you're too drunk to breastfeed, you shouldn't be looking after a baby anyway IMO. As long as there's a bit of time between you drinking and feeding, then don't worry about it x

 

[tinymumma]

Not planning on "getting drunk". It wouldn't be all the time either (I'm talking like once a month if that), so I don't see how it could affect my supply? I wasn't planning on trying it until he's at least a month/ month and a half old. It's also so OH can help out with nighttime feeds when there is milk avaliable. To pp, I was told to not give baby any breastmilk if you've consumed alcohol in the past 24 hours

 

[RaspberryK]

My health visitor always said if you're ok to drive then you're fine to breastfeed. I never even have a whole glass and then drive but I'd always have a glass or two and breastfeed I never worried. I'd try and time it so I fed and immediately had the drink then it was out of my system before I fed again.
Just to clarify there's no need to pump and dump milk after alcohol.
I would agree with patch that if you're too drunk to breastfeed then you are too drunk to look after the baby.
I would also say 6-8 weeks for supply and breastfeeding to be established but I'd say if you're skipping feeds you'll likely want to express the feed you missed.
Xx

 

[RaspberryK]

Sorry I didn't see your last post before I commented, that 24 hour rule is absolute rubbish hun!
Helping out with night feeds isn't always a good idea either as it's an important time for milk production etc.
You also might be interested to know that night milk contains sleepy hormones so if you did want to replace night feeds it's better with milk you pumped at night and not morning.
Xx

 

[tinymumma]

That's really interesting (the sleepy hormones). I'm not really the type to go and get hammered anyway, especially if I didn't have a sitter. It would make sense though, one standard drink takes an hour to be out of your system. He usually feeds every three or so hours. Is it alright to be kept in the fridge, or does it have to be frozen straight away? I was planning on keeping the milk from missed feeds anyway. I hate wasting milk. I even get upset when he pulls off for a few seconds and he doesn't get the squirts, lol

 

[RaspberryK]

Yes it can be kept in the fridgenear the back, can't remember how long for but if you check out "kelly mom" that website is the holy grail of breastfeeding advice.
Xx

 

[tinymumma]

Thank you so much RasberryK. That website is amazing. Definitely bookmarked for future reference xo

 

[noon_child]

The others are right about the alcohol (24hrs is rubbish), if it's out of your blood it's out of your milk.

On the question of expressing for OH to do night feeds, in my experience it didn't work like I wanted it to. I always woke when LO cried and had to shake OH awake. When he finally did awake he'd then have to go and warm the milk up, sort bottle etc. all while LO is crying in the room with me (he never thought to take her with him - scared of hot water in one hand baby in the other!) so I'd have to get up to comfort her and of course she wanted boob and seeing as I was up at that point anyway it seemed a bit pointless NOT to feed her.

Also breastfeeding helps YOU fall asleep easily after feeding. Sometimes after listening to all the screaming while OH faffed around with bottles, I just couldn't get back to sleep. All the adrenaline was running round my body with no sleepy hormones to counter them!!

If you want OH to do feeds before milk supply is established then you will have to pump whenever he gives a bottle. Again this means getting up in the night anyway, so I found it easier to just do the feed directly.

I'm not saying don't express or use bottles (I did for various reasons) but the holy grail of "someone else waking up for night feeds" isn't all it's cracked up to be. Once breastfeeding is established there is less cluster feeding etc. and you don't feel quite as desperate for someone else to do the feeds anyway .

If you want to be able to go out with friends etc. expressing and having LO used to bottles can be a godsend. However once BF was established I just found pumping too much of a hassle. It had been such hard work those early weeks (pumping each feed where she couldn't latch, piping after each feed to increase supply because her lath was poor etc.) that once we cracked bf and it was easy and painless the thought of spending time pumping just didn't appeal!!

Everyone is different though, good luck with whatever you choose.

 

[RaspberryK]

Noon child I agree with all of that!
Xx

 

[lucy2013]

We introduced a bottle at around 4 weeks just so that LO would get used to it...I didnt want to leave it too late so that she wouldn't take it at all, or obviously too soon. It worked really well for her. She only has a bottle if necessary...if I'm out and somewhere I don't feel comfortable feeding or I had a couple of hours out with friends the other night.

We've just had a really intense and knackering week with an almost 5 day growth spurt (hourly daytime feeds and gone from 2 night wakings to every 2hours!) So last night hubby did the night feeds...to minimise me waking up first and the whole faff others described with baby crying while bottle warms up etc hubby slept in the lounge with LO so I wasn't disturbed. As I wasn't there, he woke up as soon as she stirred and got bottle warm before she started crying.

So I'd definitely ask your OH or for you to sleep in a different room if he does night feeds. Of course I still woke up anyway lol but went straight back to sleep!

with alcohol, I've fed after one drink. I had 3 units the other night and left it a good 5 or so hours before feeding, I just wanted to be on the safe side.

 

[tinymumma]

I guess it really all just comes down to what works for your family unit. I do totally see what you mean about the nighttime feeds though noon child. My OH doesn't fully wake up when Leo cries in the night. He stirs but is still obviously asleep when he cuddles up to us.
Trial and error I guess...