How do you move on?

[special_kala]

How do you get past a relationship when you have children with your ex? I honestly cant bear to look at twat face right now but i know he needs to see River.

This is going to be so hard

 

[billy2mm]

my ex hasnt once seen our kids since we split up so in that respect i can give advice but i can say that its like a grieving process. you need to go through all the emotions as if someone has died coz it almost is like that - that part of your life has died and you need to start again.

get angry cry scream and all the rest. is there anyone who can take river to see him or stay in your house with them both so you dont have to have any contact with him till you have calmed down and come to terms with things?

 

[special_kala]

I dont want him to take her anywhere as the only place he can go is his parents.

I have been going upstairs while hes hear but it doesnt seem enough

 

[Dopeyjopey]

i had the same problem. I hated him and loved him and it hurt my brain

I know it's a shit thing to hear but it just takes a bit of time and it will get easier. I feel kind of indifferent now.

FOB was homeless (i haven't ask if he's living somewhere because i don't care - he's probably shacked up with his new gf) so he comes here and if i start feeling weird i go out to the shop or something. Is that possible for you? That way you don't have to be there but he doesn't have to take River to the in laws x

 

[Mumof42009]

It is hard and will be for a while but you do get though it. Why don't you go round a neighbours when he is there just so you don't have to see him? Do you have friends who would come round while he is there and you could sit with them? x

 

[billy2mm]

it does get easier but you need to feel all the hurt and anger and pain to get there. dont hold it in. but dont shout or scream or call or text or email him. write it all down.

i did that with my ex. i wrote him a letter telling him how he had made me feel and what i had wanted out of our relationship and how hurt and angry i was and how he had let our kids down etc.... i never sent it at all i kept it hidden in my purse and after about a year or so i re-read it and threw it out. i had gotten it all down but kept it to myself so i felt like i was a million tons lighter and then once i had worked everything through and got to a place where i feel totalling indifferent to him (i can look at a pic of him and feel nothing - its just like looking at a strangers pic) the act of throwing out the letter was symbolic to me that i had moved on and that part of my life was over and dealt with and it was now confined to history.

 

[AshOllie]

I was with Ollie's Dad for over a year and I really did love him but he changed so much when I told him I was pregnant. He became really horrible as he didn't want me to keep him so he would say really horrible things to me on the phone and in front of his friends. He would come to the scans but he would make me feel so awkward. Yet through all that I did still love him deep down and seeing him was really hard because I wanted to hug him yet also kill him! The breaking point was when he said something really mean about Ollie and that is when everything just clicked and I realised he was a jerk and I shouldn't love him. It was hard but I think because he was so horrible it did make it easier for me to get over him. Now when he wants to see him I tell him to just be at his parents when I drop Ollie over. Minus the one time he turned up at my front door. That way I don't see him and I am at work so I don't think about it too much.

 

[Fraggles]

I think the amount of emotions you feel when you split with the FOB is tremendous and does take time. Ive not had to deal with seeing ex again so far but just getting over them is a painful process even when you end things yourself it bloody hurts. Give yourself time to grieve and build yourself up. Happy mummy happy River If you cant handle him there for visits geta friend over even if you stay in its an emotional support for you.

 

[lou_w34]

It just takes time... it sounds like such a cliche, but basically time does work wonders, it will feel like forever, and its going to hurt like hell... But your strong enough to do this!

 

[Kacie]

I am going through this at the moment too. we see the ex twice a week so he can see Leah. Sometimes he comes to my flat and i just get on with cleaning a tidying that i can't do when watching leah 24/7.. other times we just walk along sea front.. I play it civil and can stay friendly as long as i don't think of what he has done in the past.. still have times where i get angry but i keep them to myself more often than not or rant to my friends

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