how is having two children?

[justmeinlove]

Just trying to think ahead. I'm pretty sure if I had two, I wouldn't enjoy at least the first year.
But how is it once they're older?
Do you have time to do your own thing?
What alone time do you get with your partner?

Thanks!

 

[lindseymw]

Mine are nearly 6 and 3.5 years old.

It was quite hard for the first year or so due to Jacob being a swine for not sleeping.

Now, everything is a lot more easier. We can go out for the day and not have to take the entire contents of the house with us. We can also do a lot more things together as a family (rather than having a baby tag along).

The boys play relatively well together now they are older and into similar things.

When it comes to alone time with DH, we go out maybe once a month for a couple of drinks. My dad will come and babysit and we go to our local pub (5mins walk away). We would be able to go out more often but DH works shifts including weekends so that generally stops us. We have found it hard to have the children looked after over night (3 times since Jacob was born) so nights/weekends away are a no go for us.

 

[justmeinlove]

Re the overnight thing, do you think that's because there are 2?

 

[Laucu]

I found the first year hard too, especially the first few months. How your older child accepts new baby depends on personality I think. I think it's fair to say that Emma hated Jack for the first two years! But now they play together, don't bicker too much (although I'm sure it will start again at some point). But they only really started playing together in the last year. It definitely got easier when E started nursery and they weren't with each other Every. single. Minute.

I do t really get a chance to do my own thing, not until they're in bed, as Jack is a daredevil and needs to be supervised most of the time. As for time with my partner, nope! But we can probably get out a bit more once my mum retires. I wouldn't be able to send them to her house as its like a museum but she will come round here and sit in living room after kids have gone to bed.

 

[lindseymw]

Re the overnight thing, do you think that's because there are 2?

It's because there are two of them and because Jacob is a handful. Joshua was and still is the most chilled out whereas Jacob is like Taz off Looney Tunes.

 

[justmeinlove]

This all helps. Thanks!!

 

[RachA]

I've got 2 and they are 7 and 5.

Tbh when the second was a baby she was so easy I didn't notice that I had an extra one. However number one was a nightmare from being 18 months old anyway.

Having 2 generally isn't an issue. They argue a bit but are usually ok.

We have always been insistent that evenings are for us so at 7.30 they go to be and that's it. We did do controlled crying with them both which I know a lot of people don't agree with but it was right for us-a very short time of upsetting evenings have led to years of easy bedtimes.
So, unless one of us is out, we have every evening from 8pm together.

I still do a lot of the things I want to do so that isn't an issue for me. I think you can make it as hard or as easy as you like really.

 

[Nats21]

Callums 4 years old and Maisies 7 months. Ive been really lucky (so far!) They love each other, callums very helpful with her and took to her straight away (no jealousy). I'm expecting sibling fights when theyre older (obviously!) but so far so good at the minute!

Me and OH haven't been out together by ourself for ages but are planning on a night out shortly after xmas so looking forward to that xx

 

[aimee-lou]

I've got 3 but i wouldn't say that its overly hard work and the jump from 1-2 then to 3 wasn't a massive shock each time. Of course i've been lucky, 3 healthy, laid back boys who sleep well most if the time and are pretty easy to manipulate lol.

Time to ourselves is the same as racha . they are all in bed by 7.30, so by 8 its quiet. Going out etc we have mil who babysits every so often (maybe once a month or so) and we go to the cinema or just out yo dinner. Mil also has the boys overnight occasionally too so for example we went to a wedding over the summer. Had 2 nights away and she took the boys.

My boys get on reasonably well. They're a trio and i can't actually imagine just having 1 or 2 of them now.

 

[Sqwidge]

Joshua will be 7 in Feb and Amelia is just 5 months...personally I wouldn't have coped with having a smaller age gap (maybe a little smaller - ie when Josh started school having the second). I love the fact that I get to spend all day with Amelia without having to worry about Josh and then in the afternoon/evenings and at weekends when Amelia is sleeping Josh and I spend time together.

He loves her to pieces, won't admit is sometimes as that's completely uncool...but the fact she loves him loads too helps. He can make her laugh so much just by looking at her that he finds it hard to not crack a smile and then make her laugh even more! They're so cute together...and with him being that little bit older, her can hold her sitting on the sofa whilst I pee/make a bottle/make dinner etc...

We have been out to dinner when Amelia was a few weeks old, and our family are great that if we did want to go away together or for the odd nights out etc then we wouldn't have a problem with someone looking after them.
Once they're both in bed then we get the evenings to ourselves as well.

 

[catty]

My children arent older, baby and toddler infact but thought id just answer anyway.
both of them are asleep by 7 & 8. After that we get alone time at night but make sure to have quality time once a week where we turn off phones etc.
this week for example I worked mon, wed and thurs 5-8pm (feels like aline time to me haha) then seen my friends for a bit tonight whilst OH has a work night out.
id say I get a good amount of alone time.

 

[2kidsplusttc3]

They play a lot together. I have a 5 year old and a 7 year old and they get along pretty well .and sometimes I do get to take a shower during the day.

I found it pretty easy to go from one to two.

 

[alex_22]

I have a 3yr old boy and 19 week old girl and It's been difficult at times but so was just having the 1, luckily my oh is a huge help (unfortunately we don't get a lot of help) I'd say the hardest parts of having 2 is my second doesn't sleep half as good as my first did because she has a noisy ass brother that wakes her up minutes after she's fell asleep 😂, not being able to jusy nip to the loo without making sure lo is strapped to something with a 5 point harness incase her big brother tries to play mammy while I'm gone, with your first you get all this advice about how to sleep when baby sleeps well that no longer works and I'd love to know when I'm actually supposed to sleep because atm I'm getting not a lot, shopping alone with 2 kids isn't big and it isn't clever! It's bloody stressful, perks of 2 is never having to grab a nappy and wipes again! The older ones love that sort of stuff, being able to finally have a coffee in peace because the big one is the little ones best friend, kisses and cuddles galore and best of all sitting bursting with pride when you sit and watch the love ooze between the 2 of them

Having 2 is tiring but absolutely brilliant. I love nearly every second of it 😂 x

 

[Pearls18]

I think we've had this conversation before so I will try not to repeat myself lol but I am not what I guess you would call a natural mother, I was desperate to be a mum but when it happened I found the first year SO hard, however, the first year with my second was nothing like my first and he was a horrific sleeper the first 6 months, I was just so much more relaxed because I knew everything was a phase. It has gone SO quickly I can't believe he turns 1 in 2 weeks, he just kinda slotted in. I really, genuinely, don't find it much harder having 2 in fact I would say in some respects it is easier than the one as they entertain each other, I feel I am more able to keep up with the house now with 2 than I did with just DS1 when he was younger.

The hard part I would say is being back at work because DS2 is quite a sickly baby and has meant ive needed to take quite a bit of time off, thankfully DS1 is a freakishly healthy child, I can count on one hand how many days off he has needed in 3 years at nursery, if he caught everything DS2 did I imagine this would be pretty hard work.

To give some context I have a 3 year age gap, we live away from family and hubby has to go away with work a lot.

 

[babydustcass]

I have an almost 7 year old and a just turned 3 year old. We are wtt from Dec 2015 so our next will have a bigger age gap. It really helped that our first have almost 4 years between them and meant that they each got their 'own' time with us. Our eldest was at nursery when our daughter was born so he had his own little life developing and was soon to start school. He was long out of nappies, dry through the night and communicating well like a little adult. For us having them more spread out made it much easier. I love having two kids and always thought we would stop at 2 but now feel just one more would complete our family

 

[jensonsmummy]

Im going to be honest, i find two very hard. Ds2 however has been very hard work from the moment i was pregnant. He had colic as a baby, and didnt sleep. sleepsa wee bit better now but still up at 5.30 in the morning. Ds2 however is a very hard child on his own so i dont think it would be much different if he was an only child.

 

[Wriggley]

Z is 4 and A is nearly 18 months.. i found the first year easy compared to now.. my youngest is VERY hard work since he started walking really (9 months) and its very draininghes very tantrumy and demands a lot of attention.

but i just tell myself it will get easier