SpringCrane
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My first pregnancy was successful and resulted in my son, who will be 2 next month. Last year I had a surprise pregnancy that ended as a MMC with a D&C. At the time, I was very practical about it and didn't show a lot of emotion. I had a gut feeling before the scan that showed no heartbeat, so I was sort of mentally prepared for the bad news. I was scared at the idea of having another baby so soon (my due date was my son's 2nd birthday) when we had planned on a larger age gap. All this is to say that I handled the news and procedure well, considering how sad it all was. My husband was more shocked by the bad news, but after a solitary cry (which I found out about later), he was practical about it too--he knew the likelihood of miscarriage, and kind of took it in stride.
Well, it's been six months since the D&C, and he seems to have completely forgotten about the pregnancy, miscarriage, or any of it. It's something that will stay with me forever, our baby that could have been, but to him it's just sort of a bad day to forget about. We're talking about trying for our next baby, and I keep stumbling over calling it baby #2 or #3 or my "second" pregnancy or my "third" because I don't want to act like it didn't happen. I try to talk about it sometimes, but he doesn't seem to notice or care or whatever. He's a great guy, and if I sat down and said, I need to talk about my feelings about losing our baby, he would absolutely, but that's not what I want. I just want him to acknowledge that the next baby/pregnancy is not our second, but our third. Is that weird?
If it was our first pregnancy, I think it'd be more about whether I could have a successful pregnancy (and I realize there's no guarantee I will have another--but he doesn't seem to think these's any chance of it not working next time) and he'd be more saddened by the loss. But as things are, it's just something to forget about because "these things happen."
Well, it's been six months since the D&C, and he seems to have completely forgotten about the pregnancy, miscarriage, or any of it. It's something that will stay with me forever, our baby that could have been, but to him it's just sort of a bad day to forget about. We're talking about trying for our next baby, and I keep stumbling over calling it baby #2 or #3 or my "second" pregnancy or my "third" because I don't want to act like it didn't happen. I try to talk about it sometimes, but he doesn't seem to notice or care or whatever. He's a great guy, and if I sat down and said, I need to talk about my feelings about losing our baby, he would absolutely, but that's not what I want. I just want him to acknowledge that the next baby/pregnancy is not our second, but our third. Is that weird?
If it was our first pregnancy, I think it'd be more about whether I could have a successful pregnancy (and I realize there's no guarantee I will have another--but he doesn't seem to think these's any chance of it not working next time) and he'd be more saddened by the loss. But as things are, it's just something to forget about because "these things happen."