I've had 2 d&c's this year, one in April, the other in Oct. After the first d&c, I bled for 2 weeks. The bleeding was fairly light, although it was there every day. I only had a couple of instances of heavy bleeding, which didn't last long. After the d&c in Oct, I bled the day of, then nothing for 5 days, then some light brown spotting (sorry tmi) for two days, then nothing, and that was it. I was really kind of surprised. The experience can be different for everyone, and apparently different with each time.
In terms of ttc again, we were advised by our OB to wait for my first af before starting to ttc again (af came 30 days post d&c w/ 1st, and 29 days later w/ 2nd). But I've read other posts by women here and on another board who were given the go-ahead before their first af, so I think it depends on your doc. They do say not to have sex and no tampons for 2 weeks after a d&c, both have the potential to cause an infection, I guess. We waited the full 2 weeks to have (protected) sex after the first d&c, but with the 2nd we waited 10 days -- my body felt ready, no bleeding or cramps, and I had already started working out again, so we thought it would be ok, and it was. So it really depends on your body and your experience after the d&c.
And I defintiely understand your feeling of being afraid that it will happen again. I've had many, many freak out moments, but right now (over a month out from the last d&c), I'm starting to feel less afraid and more hopeful. Best of luck, and so sorry for your loss! ((hugs))