How often does FOB see baby?

[LauraBee]

If you're unaware of my story, FOB was completely indecisive during the pregnancy, saw LO or about an hour when she was 12 hours old (claiming he definitely wanted to be involved), he texted for a couple weeks arranging to meet but then having an excuse, and eventually he stopped bothering and I've not heard from him for 5/6 weeks.

Bee is 8 weeks old tomorrow, and the only time FOB has seen her was in the hospital, for an hour on her birthday.

I was wondering what the situation was with everyone else.

 

[chels24uk]

with me, he saw his son after school until bedtime on a wednesday, would have him at his on a Saturday for the night and bring him home around lunch time on a sunday. But then he met his new GF and moved. He went 2 and a half months without seeing him and is currently at mine now on a 12 day visit.... I think he only visited because I was threatening to cut contact if he doesnt step up as a dad though.

What do you plan to do if he suddenly contacts you again wanting to be a dad?

 

[LauraBee]

Well, I've always said that until Bee can tell us what she wants, I'll do my best to make sure he sees her but he obviously needs to actually do something to ensure that happens.

I was talking about it with my friend this afternoon, and I think I'd tell him that I no longer want anything to do with him, so the only contact we'll have would be arranging to meet with LO and then of course those meets. I don't want the small talk, it's just about babe.

 

[teal]

My ex has never seen LO - not my choice. He broke up with me when I refused to have a termination and has cut all contact.

 

[manda22]

My bd and I were still together when I had lo. Since we got home from the hospital he's seen her a maximum of about 8 times, 2 of those visits are because I brought her to him. He still expects me to bring her to him after he's treated me like shit! It's so not going to happen.

 

[billy2mm]

my ex does not see my kids. he hasnt seen them since they were 2.5 years and 6 weeks when i left him.

 

[dom85]

Brady's Dad has never seen him. He wasn't sure he wanted to be involved when I was pregnant and I said that's fine and I wouldn't stop him from seeing him if/when he decided he wanted to be in his life BUT it would have to be regular contact, he's not coming and going and leaving Brady confused and as soon as it wasn't regular then he would have to wait until Brady was 18 and could chose himself whether he wanted anything to do with him.

Might sound harsh to some but I was hurt and confused by my mother who was constantly in and out of my life and there's no way Brady is going through that, kids always find a way to blame themselves for stuff like that.

 

[112110]

Well, I consider Brayden's "father" more of a sperm donor honestly. Throughout the entire pregnancy he swore up and down he was going to be the best Daddy ever. He doesn't come to see him ever, even if I ask him to. He will never get him alone either because he is a drug/alcohol addict so I guess it's for the best really.

 

[Weeplin]

Aimee saw her dad when she was 10 weeks old and never after that. I split from Jason's dad in October and he hasn't seen him since then. He never even calls.

 

[whoops]

My LO hasn't seen her dad yet. His choice. And his loss.

 

[laura1991]

Lily sees her dad on a wednesday 3-6 and and friday till saturday tea time. when were not in college her sees her more and if we need to change things we do, but were on quite good terms

 

[imaginary8x]

Well, he saw her once at 6 months and is now trying to get some money to come see Amy again.
so really anytime...

 

[sarahxx]

my LO's dad is supposed to take her outt 11am-5pm on a Wednesday and a Sunday, but he doesn't turn up every time, i'd say more like once a week it works out at.

 

[LauraBee]

Wow, it's pretty sad how many men decide not to get involved.

FOB told me that he "misses" us on FB chat last night. I explained to him that as far as our relationship goes, it's all about Bee, I'm done with him. I'm proud of myself for finally telling him how disappointed I am with him, and I made sure to make it clear that I'm happy to meet him with LO. He didn't reply to that, he started writing something and then stopped. We were both online for a few hours, I waited for him to go offline first to make sure he had a chance to ask to see Bee, but he didn't.

I know I'm doing the best I can for LO to have a relationship with her father, and with every reply I've read, I know you're all doing what you feel best too

 

[JA1988]

FOB was indecisive during pregnancy, first wanted nothing to do with LO unless me and FOB got back together, then deciding he does want to be involved in LO's life. He has seen him once a week until he was 9 weeks old and since I told him that he could not stay at my house overnight after visits (was treating my place like a hotel!) he has said he will take me to court for access, even though I have never denied him and am STILL offering him weekly access. He hasn't seen LO for over two weeks now, he sent me an email stating that he will no longer visit our son weekly until it has been 'sorted in court'. I have since emailed him and sent him a letter, both stating that I am still offering him 12 hours a week in contact and to let me know if he wants to do this, to which I have had no reply whatsoever, so currently I have no idea what is going on and I have had no letter from a solicitor even though he has said he is taking me to court! Me=very confused!

 

[tanzarini]

Well, first time around with Hannah (aged 7) her Dad saw her twice when she was 4 months old then never bothered again. His loss at the end of the day, total loser anyway. Ive never had a penny off him either, and i dont want it. She is my daughter from head to toe and she has said herself she doesnt need anyone but me

With the twins I am really lucky, my ex has them at least twice a week for a full afternoon. We are totally flexible with each other and it is all working out really well (it was a rocky start, but much better since Christmas). We do argue about things, but we dont let it affect the kids. I refuse to use them as a weapon to get back at him for how things have turned out. He is a great Dad and I want him in their lives as much as possible.

I think its really sad how some Dads can just turn their back on their kids, while others have to fight tooth and nail for access.

 

[Boomerslady]

Wow reading all these replies I guess I'm very lucky. I guess my situation is different. I split with my OH about 2 weeks ago, and he lived with me and Ben from day 1. He also didnt work (hence the split!) so was with us 24/7.

Now hes back at his Mums he has him Tuesday day and night, and Friday day. He also has him as and when I need, so if I want to go out on a Fri night he'll have him overnight. If hes in the area he'll come over to put Ben down some nights. Its very flexible. I think it'll chnage as and when he gets a job but until then its working quite well.

 

[Snowball]

Mine does two 4pm-9pm's and one 8am-1pm the following day. It's not an arrangement that's been going on long and I'm doubtful it'll last tbh. If I have an emergency he's never there or free to come. However for those that know his state of mind right now maybe that's a good thing

 

[Boomerslady]

Mine does two 4pm-9pm's and one 8am-1pm the following day. It's not an arrangement that's been going on long and I'm doubtful it'll last tbh. If I have an emergency he's never there or free to come. However for those that know his state of mind right now maybe that's a good thing

Its defo a good thing! You dont need that man anywhere near you! Hope your doing ok hunni

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

DSs dad has custody but his parents take care of him and i get him every other weekend...as for how often his dad sees him? When he needs money from his parents.

Since Dh and I are still together, he sees them everyday, but when i leave, im hoping maybe on a weekend here or there, but there wont be a specific schedule.