How often is your husband able to "perform"?

[readyformore]

Well, I've read most of the posts.

I really don't think it's an age issue. It sounds more like a stress/pressure issue. I really don't think that it's normal to have erectile/sexual performance issues so early in life. Lack of desire is one thing, but an inability to perform sounds psychological to me.

My DH is 35 and he's never had a problem with an erection or ejaculation.

It sounds like some of these fellas have "stage fright".

I'm not suggesting that you are dishonest, but maybe not telling them when you are going to ovulate might make it easier on them. You're not being dishonest if they know you are ttc. Just keep quiet about opks and ovulation status. Just a suggestion.

 

[Vic20581]

Im 30 n dh is 33, he works up to 15 hrs a day, 6 days a wk, n he is more a 3/4 times a mth guy. He always has been, where i cud do it every day lol. I bought him some herbal passion tablets from H&B. Hes been takin them 2 wks n weve dtd once lol. This is 1st mth at ttc, so not sure if he wil be able to perform the wk of o, we wil jus have to see.
xx

 

[Jazavac]

I'd say the most of these things come because of stress.

I never noticed any problems at all, up until the point where it, all of a sudden, matters. Even though this is our first cycle, due to some circumstances, it's important that we don't miss out. So it's all timed, organized, mandatory... and a lot closer to a chore, than real enjoyment.

Ohwell, I guess, that's the way it goes.

 

[WinterSong4]

In my case ladies, we have been together 9 1/2 years and he has pretty much always been a 2-3 times a month kind of guy. Reasons I can conclude ( knowing my DH) is laziness and down right not a confident kind of man. I am only his 2nd partner, so I am sure that has a lot to do with it too. But, he is my only partner and I don't have a confidence issue like him So, I don't know.

I think the main reason is laziness for sure though!

 

[MurphyTaylor]

@ mrshanna - I think my OH would feel superheroish too if his SA was high!

@WinterSong - I reckon my OH problem is stress; he does have to put up with a lot at work but I also agree with the laziness. He doesn't sleep til late (if at all) and we have to be up at like 7am so I suppose it's not really laziness, just not having the energy!

 

[WinterSong4]

I will have to look back at it, but I am sure my professor had mentioned testosterone being a parathyroid hormone issue.....which mean maybe our hubbies need to get their thyroids checked. Hmmm...

 

[citymouse]

DH and I have had slower months on and off (over 15 years we've been together)... things picked up when I went off BCP and when he started working out, especially because I like his muscles. LOL, I know he's asking for something when he shows me his biceps.

 

[artsiekat]

DH and I have had slower months on and off (over 15 years we've been together)... things picked up when I went off BCP and when he started working out, especially because I like his muscles. LOL, I know he's asking for something when he shows me his biceps.

Awww... my hubby is the same way. He feels like he's too skinny and it bothers him, so he's started working out. He likes to show his biceps off and often that leads to Bding. It also leads to boosting his self-esteem, which is good for him. Because, frankly, he's hot!

 

[WinterSong4]

DH and I have had slower months on and off (over 15 years we've been together)... things picked up when I went off BCP and when he started working out, especially because I like his muscles. LOL, I know he's asking for something when he shows me his biceps.

Awww... my hubby is the same way. He feels like he's too skinny and it bothers him, so he's started working out. He likes to show his biceps off and often that leads to Bding. It also leads to boosting his self-esteem, which is good for him. Because, frankly, he's hot!

hahah over the years, my DH has developed quite the "belly" . I have asked him repeatedly to work out with me, go walking or something and he wont. He is THAT lazy lol. He pretty much just sits on his arse all day

 

[citymouse]

DH and I have had slower months on and off (over 15 years we've been together)... things picked up when I went off BCP and when he started working out, especially because I like his muscles. LOL, I know he's asking for something when he shows me his biceps.

Awww... my hubby is the same way. He feels like he's too skinny and it bothers him, so he's started working out. He likes to show his biceps off and often that leads to Bding. It also leads to boosting his self-esteem, which is good for him. Because, frankly, he's hot!

hahah over the years, my DH has developed quite the "belly" . I have asked him repeatedly to work out with me, go walking or something and he wont. He is THAT lazy lol. He pretty much just sits on his arse all day

We had friends like that--their relationship and sex life were basically at a -5. Then the guy decided to start working out, and things got much better. I don't know if it's testosterone or just endorphins or what, but it seems to make a difference. (Both with sex and with his overall self-esteem, which is a big factor in the relationship.)

(Says me, who has been sitting on her rear all week and had a bowl of ice cream for lunch.)

 

[artsiekat]

DH and I have had slower months on and off (over 15 years we've been together)... things picked up when I went off BCP and when he started working out, especially because I like his muscles. LOL, I know he's asking for something when he shows me his biceps.

Awww... my hubby is the same way. He feels like he's too skinny and it bothers him, so he's started working out. He likes to show his biceps off and often that leads to Bding. It also leads to boosting his self-esteem, which is good for him. Because, frankly, he's hot!

hahah over the years, my DH has developed quite the "belly" . I have asked him repeatedly to work out with me, go walking or something and he wont. He is THAT lazy lol. He pretty much just sits on his arse all day

We had friends like that--their relationship and sex life were basically at a -5. Then the guy decided to start working out, and things got much better. I don't know if it's testosterone or just endorphins or what, but it seems to make a difference. (Both with sex and with his overall self-esteem, which is a big factor in the relationship.)

(Says me, who has been sitting on her rear all week and had a bowl of ice cream for lunch.)

*says this as she sits on the couch, snacking and watching TV* Hey, it's raining! But, really, exercise makes a HUGE difference in mood and productivity. I am most definitely at my best when I try to atleast have a very active lifestyle and even better when I actively try to to do moderate to heavish exercise!

Maybe trick him into exercising? Tell him you'd like to walk with him to get ice cream (if you have somewhere you can walk to within a few miles) or tell him you're suddenly interested in outdoorsy walking/hiking. I sometimes trick myself into exercising with walking to a restaurant or treat like frozen yogurt.

On another note, you're much more patient than me, I'd start kicking hubby's butt if he were lazy, but I'm definitely the lazy one in our relationship!

 

[babypizazz]

WOW! Reading these replies makes me feel a little better! My DH wouldn't have sex at all if we weren't TTC..... I have trouble getting him to dtd more than a couple of times during my fertile period!

 

[Vic20581]

Its mad tho isnt it, as the men are meant to b the ones that are sex mad tryin to have it every nite, n the women are the ones that say not tonight got a headach lol.
Notvlike that in our marriage lol
xx

 

[DHime]

I feel very lucky. My hubbie and I DTD at least do the deed.
His recomendation: lots of gatorade and excercise.
I also read drinking milk (calcium) and pinapple juice (vit C) helps the produce more sperm.
We are in our 1st month of TTC though so we shall see...

 

[DHime]

OOPS
Meant to say we DTD at least twice a day sometimes more.

 

[allinechole]

I agree that pressure is the culprit. Our first month ttc I swear all I talked about is ovulating and how we HAD to dtd on such days. And that was the first week we ever had problems. The second month I stopped bringing up babies and pregnancy and ovulation. And we were able to dtd many times during my fertile week, and he was also much happier about it. Its way too easy to make ttc into a chore rather than a fun adventure that it should be, even though it tends to make us girls a little crazy sometimes!