How the hell am i supposed to get a new man in my life?

[Laura--x]

ive been single for 2 and a half years now. Had a little fling earlier this year for a few months but nothing serious.

I just do not know how id ever be able to have another relationship. Im with maisie all day everyday, she goes to her dads sat afternoon-sun afternoon, and thats it.

My mum and dad dont live here and ive never left her with other family members ( cousins,auntys ect ) and dont think i would.

I just dont know how id ever have the time? Or how theyd ever accept the fact that i dont have time?

There has been so many lads who have really wanted to take me out ect ( not being bigheaded, old friends ect! ) but ive just always said no from the start, not even gave it a go, however much i wanted too, just because i cant see how my life can fit another man into it :S

Maisies sleeping habits arnt the best, and although she goes to bed at 7 she wakes up alot always wanting to come into my bed, which im trying to stop.

Seriously girls, for those of you who have met another man whilst being a single parent. HOW DO YOU DO IT?!

 

[Ginger84]

No idea but i'd like to know too!

I've not been single for that long but honastly cant imagine anyone else being around and wanting to put up with the demands of a baby. I get one night off every other weekend- hardly enough time to build a relationship with someone.

Still it does happen lets hope someone can tell us how!

 

[Laura--x]

No idea but i'd like to know too!

I've not been single for that long but honastly cant imagine anyone else being around and wanting to put up with the demands of a baby. I get one night off every other weekend- hardly enough time to build a relationship with someone.

Still it does happen lets hope someone can tell us how!

We can just hope theres some very understanding,patient men out there somewhere haha x

 

[Laura2919]

Well for a start I am not looking for a long term thing right now. If it finds me then all good.

Secondly, you do have to give a little in order to get something back. Ask FOB to have Maisie overnight one night... To have a life that doesn't always involve your LO then you will have to think about leaving her.

But on the flip side, you have a child. Any man you date would have to understand she is your main priority.

You need to be taking up these offers... How do you know that they aren't gonna come of anything if you don't try. You might meet a man who wants to spend te with you and Maisie together. Who knows. Don't turn them down though

 

[Laura2919]

Sorry double post.. Was posting this on my phone lol

 

[Laura--x]

FOB is a complete nobed and wont have her any other time if i ask him, he isnt doing me any 'favours' so hes said before. So basically he wont see his daughter if he knows its because i want to do something lol.. hes a prat.

 

[Happy]

I'd be interested to know how people do it, what with work and Phoebe I never have any free time!

 

[xSophieBx]

I've been single since I was 7months pregnant... I've seen a couple of guys but nothing serious. I live with my mum though so once Lily's in bed I can go out if I wanted to as mum will watch her, she has always slept through though. If I lived on my own I'd be in the same position as you. Is there NO family members/close friends u would trust just to sit in your house once shes gone to sleep whilst u go out and have abit of you time?
If you did meet someone special they would have to accept maisie is your life & they could come round once shes gone to bed? & if things got serious your mum & dad might have her for a weekend?
It may be difficult whilst shes not sleeping very great... she will grow out of it eventually.
If you flat out say no, then your obviously not ready... you'll know when ur ready to date again xx

 

[Laura--x]

I think im ready, i want to be ready i want a relationship, i just always assume that once they get a look in on my life they are going to walk away, and i dont want to get hurt so i just say no in the first place i know it makes no sense but i just push them away before even letting them in!

 

[Laura2919]

FOB is a complete nobed and wont have her any other time if i ask him, he isnt doing me any 'favours' so hes said before. So basically he wont see his daughter if he knows its because i want to do something lol.. hes a prat.

God, are you sure your FOB aint mine.... I had to force him to get him to have the girls because if I wanted to do something he deserved to know what... I said I deserved to whack him over the head with something but I would be done for assault

Honestly, they are single and are allowed to do whatever they want we are single and still need to explain ourselves..

 

[Laura--x]

FOB is a complete nobed and wont have her any other time if i ask him, he isnt doing me any 'favours' so hes said before. So basically he wont see his daughter if he knows its because i want to do something lol.. hes a prat.

God, are you sure your FOB aint mine.... I had to force him to get him to have the girls because if I wanted to do something he deserved to know what... I said I deserved to whack him over the head with something but I would be done for assault

Honestly, they are single and are allowed to do whatever they want we are single and still need to explain ourselves..

i know yeah i remember thinking that on the other thread!

I offered fob to have maisie every weekend fri-sun, but he told me he wasnt having her both nights because 1, im not having my freedom to do what i want all weekend when i have a daughter to care for, and 2,friday is his nights out.

I said fine but you we're busy with playgroups and classes in the week so dont blame me when you only have her once a week!!

Do they not realise that they are spiting the children just to try and get at us?!?!

 

[Laura2919]

Ahhh to have 'his' friday night out.. Lucky git... FOB's mum is who really makes him have the twins... He thinks I dont know but on Sundays she takes them shopping while he goes football. She said apparently she told him it has to stop.. Yeah yeah, wish they would at least try and sing from the same hymn sheet!!

FOB says I just cause a problem in his life. WELCOME TO MY WORLD SWEETHEART.. YOU DO THAT EVERY SINGLE DAY.. because I want him to have his children a bit more.. I wanted to go gym tonight I had to ask him to come and sit with them. Its only so he feels like he is needed and he is a big man cos he can say well no I cant I am busy.. Taking the dog out for a walk (the girlfriend, not our actual dog that he wanted) lol

 

[Laura--x]

Ahhh to have 'his' friday night out.. Lucky git... FOB's mum is who really makes him have the twins... He thinks I dont know but on Sundays she takes them shopping while he goes football. She said apparently she told him it has to stop.. Yeah yeah, wish they would at least try and sing from the same hymn sheet!!

FOB says I just cause a problem in his life. WELCOME TO MY WORLD SWEETHEART.. YOU DO THAT EVERY SINGLE DAY.. because I want him to have his children a bit more.. I wanted to go gym tonight I had to ask him to come and sit with them. Its only so he feels like he is needed and he is a big man cos he can say well no I cant I am busy.. Taking the dog out for a walk (the girlfriend, not our actual dog that he wanted) lol

at the dog bit. Yeh exactly. They are such nobs. They hold it over us when we ask them for favours, when really it should be up to them anyway! They get to do what they want to do every single day of their lives and the kids somehow fit into it, yet with us, we have to fit it around them, and even then we aren't allowed to !!!

 

[Snowball]

If anyone has the answer, please let me know!

I have four LO's under 6 years old. Ex has lost interest in all of them so I either have to stop him coming over or help him out when he's here. My parents take the older 2 everyother weekend, Ozzie every 4th weekend and I always have Louie with me (he's bf).

Now it's got to the point though that I've been single since I was 6 weeks pg and I turn down men because of my commitment to the kids. I just haven't got time for a man because of keeping on top of things here and keeping the kids emotionally stable as possible (ex left them at xmas for another woman and our eldest really felt that rejection). I feel that if I emotionally connect to someone else, it takes that little bit away from them and right now I feel they need it more than ever. I refuse to fail them the way he did

Doesn't mean that I wouldn't mind another man though

 

[Laura2919]

Ahhh to have 'his' friday night out.. Lucky git... FOB's mum is who really makes him have the twins... He thinks I dont know but on Sundays she takes them shopping while he goes football. She said apparently she told him it has to stop.. Yeah yeah, wish they would at least try and sing from the same hymn sheet!!

FOB says I just cause a problem in his life. WELCOME TO MY WORLD SWEETHEART.. YOU DO THAT EVERY SINGLE DAY.. because I want him to have his children a bit more.. I wanted to go gym tonight I had to ask him to come and sit with them. Its only so he feels like he is needed and he is a big man cos he can say well no I cant I am busy.. Taking the dog out for a walk (the girlfriend, not our actual dog that he wanted) lol

at the dog bit. Yeh exactly. They are such nobs. They hold it over us when we ask them for favours, when really it should be up to them anyway! They get to do what they want to do every single day of their lives and the kids somehow fit into it, yet with us, we have to fit it around them, and even then we aren't allowed to !!!

it makes me sound jealous but I am not its just a nice way to make me feel better for the fact that one day she will play mummy to my girls... (seriously hope not)

 

[Laura--x]

Ahhh to have 'his' friday night out.. Lucky git... FOB's mum is who really makes him have the twins... He thinks I dont know but on Sundays she takes them shopping while he goes football. She said apparently she told him it has to stop.. Yeah yeah, wish they would at least try and sing from the same hymn sheet!!

FOB says I just cause a problem in his life. WELCOME TO MY WORLD SWEETHEART.. YOU DO THAT EVERY SINGLE DAY.. because I want him to have his children a bit more.. I wanted to go gym tonight I had to ask him to come and sit with them. Its only so he feels like he is needed and he is a big man cos he can say well no I cant I am busy.. Taking the dog out for a walk (the girlfriend, not our actual dog that he wanted) lol

at the dog bit. Yeh exactly. They are such nobs. They hold it over us when we ask them for favours, when really it should be up to them anyway! They get to do what they want to do every single day of their lives and the kids somehow fit into it, yet with us, we have to fit it around them, and even then we aren't allowed to !!!

it makes me sound jealous but I am not its just a nice way to make me feel better for the fact that one day she will play mummy to my girls... (seriously hope not)

tbh im dreading when he gets a new gf. i heard rumours he was seeing this girl from my old school who was in the year above us, shes a right DOg lmao seriously. There was a 'like' on facebook at the time and i liked it and put it on my status sayin ' Seriously, you went from me, to THAT? LOL!' or somethin like that, then i asked him if it was true and he was all well she just drives me round and we smoke weed in the car and all this blah blah blah! i was like

Then she added me and started being all pally pally saying 'aww maiz done this, maiz is this' i was like oh shut up talking about my daughter!

they didnt last long though.

 

[Laura--x]

If anyone has the answer, please let me know!

I have four LO's under 6 years old. Ex has lost interest in all of them so I either have to stop him coming over or help him out when he's here. My parents take the older 2 everyother weekend, Ozzie every 4th weekend and I always have Louie with me (he's bf).

Now it's got to the point though that I've been single since I was 6 weeks pg and I turn down men because of my commitment to the kids. I just haven't got time for a man because of keeping on top of things here and keeping the kids emotionally stable as possible (ex left them at xmas for another woman and our eldest really felt that rejection). I feel that if I emotionally connect to someone else, it takes that little bit away from them and right now I feel they need it more than ever. I refuse to fail them the way he did

Doesn't mean that I wouldn't mind another man though

ah hun bloody GOOD FOR YOU! 4 los on your own, you are superwoman! Seriously hun, you deserve a medal. You sound like a fantastic mum! XX

 

[FayDanielle]

Positive story right here!

First off, let me say, its not the way I'd have done it before having Mia and its hard! I don't see him as much as I'd like too, but hey, I appreciate the time we do spend together.
I think communication is important when you have a child to a different person. Me and Joe talk every day, spend hours on the phone/facetime (when Mia is in bed, obviously!) and we see each other at least once a week, twice if we're lucky.
He KNOWS and has known from day one that Mia is my priority and she comes first. He also knows the difficulty I have with getting her looked after, her dad is a complete twat, take my word on it. He refused to have her last thursday night, at 6pm, because 'he'd been at work all week and wasn't in the right frame of mind to be looking after her' (yet, you can go out on the piss?! Dickhead!) though he'd text me that morning asking if he could have her thursday night instead of the friday or saturday. (He has her overnight once a week)
This obviously meant I had to cancel the plans I'd made with Joe, but he understood that her father was being a complete knobhead, hence the plans needing to change.
We've been together almost 4 months now, like I say, its not going anywhere quick, but I quite like it. Its completely different to my last relationships were I was practically getting proposed too within a few weeks haha but it means Im taking the time to find out more about him and work out wether I want him to be a solid piece in my life in the future.
Joe has not yet met Mia and I don't see it in the pipeline in the very near future. We have talked about him meeting her and he has reassured me that he hasn't not met her because he doesn't want too, but more so that the oppurtunity hasnt yet arrived.
I live with my parents, so he doesn't come here.
It takes alot of effort I think, when you're not with the father of your baby/ies to have a strong relationship, but it can happen! x

 

[Laura2919]

Ahhh to have 'his' friday night out.. Lucky git... FOB's mum is who really makes him have the twins... He thinks I dont know but on Sundays she takes them shopping while he goes football. She said apparently she told him it has to stop.. Yeah yeah, wish they would at least try and sing from the same hymn sheet!!

FOB says I just cause a problem in his life. WELCOME TO MY WORLD SWEETHEART.. YOU DO THAT EVERY SINGLE DAY.. because I want him to have his children a bit more.. I wanted to go gym tonight I had to ask him to come and sit with them. Its only so he feels like he is needed and he is a big man cos he can say well no I cant I am busy.. Taking the dog out for a walk (the girlfriend, not our actual dog that he wanted) lol

at the dog bit. Yeh exactly. They are such nobs. They hold it over us when we ask them for favours, when really it should be up to them anyway! They get to do what they want to do every single day of their lives and the kids somehow fit into it, yet with us, we have to fit it around them, and even then we aren't allowed to !!!

it makes me sound jealous but I am not its just a nice way to make me feel better for the fact that one day she will play mummy to my girls... (seriously hope not)

tbh im dreading when he gets a new gf. i heard rumours he was seeing this girl from my old school who was in the year above us, shes a right DOg lmao seriously. There was a 'like' on facebook at the time and i liked it and put it on my status sayin ' Seriously, you went from me, to THAT? LOL!' or somethin like that, then i asked him if it was true and he was all well she just drives me round and we smoke weed in the car and all this blah blah blah! i was like

Then she added me and started being all pally pally saying 'aww maiz done this, maiz is this' i was like oh shut up talking about my daughter!

they didnt last long though.

Yeah his mum seems to think this is a rebound thing whereas I tend to know different lol. I know he don't do all the Facebook relationship change unless he is serious and he stays with people even though it isn't working lol. That day we split he wasn't texting to split up he was texting me to sort it out but I told him how he made me feel and he said he didn't know what else to try so that was that. When I found out he had been 'talking' to her behind my back I thought yeah he was trying to split but he still says he wanted to work things out. Tbh I knew I didn't as the day before He was a right twat and I didn't want that life where we argued all the time.

My problem is I let everything affect me. Most of the time he did things to rub it in my face and then would retaliate. I shouldn't of said anything knowing what I know now. Although we haven't argued in the past 8 days haha.

Did he ask you before he took Maizie around her?

 

[Laura2919]

Positive story right here!

First off, let me say, its not the way I'd have done it before having Mia and its hard! I don't see him as much as I'd like too, but hey, I appreciate the time we do spend together.
I think communication is important when you have a child to a different person. Me and Joe talk every day, spend hours on the phone/facetime (when Mia is in bed, obviously!) and we see each other at least once a week, twice if we're lucky.
He KNOWS and has known from day one that Mia is my priority and she comes first. He also knows the difficulty I have with getting her looked after, her dad is a complete twat, take my word on it. He refused to have her last thursday night, at 6pm, because 'he'd been at work all week and wasn't in the right frame of mind to be looking after her' (yet, you can go out on the piss?! Dickhead!) though he'd text me that morning asking if he could have her thursday night instead of the friday or saturday. (He has her overnight once a week)
This obviously meant I had to cancel the plans I'd made with Joe, but he understood that her father was being a complete knobhead, hence the plans needing to change.
We've been together almost 4 months now, like I say, its not going anywhere quick, but I quite like it. Its completely different to my last relationships were I was practically getting proposed too within a few weeks haha but it means Im taking the time to find out more about him and work out wether I want him to be a solid piece in my life in the future.
Joe has not yet met Mia and I don't see it in the pipeline in the very near future. We have talked about him meeting her and he has reassured me that he hasn't not met her because he doesn't want too, but more so that the oppurtunity hasnt yet arrived.
I live with my parents, so he doesn't come here.
It takes alot of effort I think, when you're not with the father of your baby/ies to have a strong relationship, but it can happen! x

I suppose living with your parents makes it a bit harder also as you don't get all that privacy.
I live on my own and am lucky I have a great family support and FOB has them but if he can't I can always ask his mum to.


Hope things work out for you xxx