How to deal with DH inability to understand how crap I feel!!!

[GemM83]

Title says it all really!!

I am 11+4 with my 2nd. 1st trimester has been an absolute bugger since the day I found out. All day sickness, constipation, piles, total utter exhaustion....you name it, I've got it.

My DH though seems to not have any/not want to have any understanding of how utterly dreadful I feel. I've just sat in my car crying for the past 15 minutes because he just said that he can't even look at me without me snapping at him!!!! All I did was come home from work and collapsed on the bed. Didn't ask me how I was or anything....I then went downstairs to be told "Why don't you just go to bed", not in a caring you look like death kind of way in a oh why don't you just pi** off kind of way.

He just doesn't seem to give a sh*t about how I am feeling/coping. I'm just so pi**ed off with him making it all about him. I just don't know what to do.

Any advice/experiences?

Sorry for the language!

 

[Bevziibubble]

That's awful hun. I'm so sorry he is so unsupportive when you're carrying his baby

 

[RainbowDrop_x]

I would have said “ok I’m going bed” and gone.

Men don’t have the same empathy women do. Just rest where you can and let him pick up the rest

 

[Shoemama]

Eh, men suck lol. They will never understand what we're going through...they can't, really. Try to be as patient with him as you can, and just tell him honestly how you feel. "When you say that, I feel dismissed and not cared for. Right now, I feel like I need a little more support than normal. It hurts my feelings a lot when I'm feeling ill, and I hear words that sound like 'go away.'" Give him a chance to respond, and try to come up with things he can do specifically that might help you. Don't give him negative feedback on his personality...give him measurable actions he can improve that would make life easier. And then ask what you can do that would help him to feel valued in your relationship, too.

Marriage is hard. It's near impossible with pregnancies and babies lol. Hang in there.