How to persuade husband!!

[T8ty]

I'm only 7 weeks pregnant with number two however I am considering really looking into having a home birth!

My partner is dead set against it so how do I persuade him!

My first labour was just over 4 hours ... Really nice and simple!

 

[BunnyN]

The information on this site convinced my OH:
www.homebirth.org.uk

 

[Feronia]

It's your choice, not your husband's. It's good for a partner to be on board, but ultimately it is your decision.

That being said, my best suggestions are to talk about your feelings to him, share information that you find, and have him watch something like the Business of Being Born. I've seen husbands change their minds about home births by watching that film.

 

[BunnyN]

I felt like it was a decision we should both make as it was his baby too. Where we live HB is a very unusual decision and my OH was quite concerned about it to start with but I shared information with him about the real risks and what can be done in an emergency as well as discussing my feelings and motivations and he came round to the idea. After the actual birth I don't think he'd ever choose to do it another way! He was impressed by the personal attention we received as well as by how relaxed and comfortable I was able to be.

 

[littlesteph]

Look up all the information you can about.
Not sure if this is true but I have heard second labours tend to be quicker then the first. If it is true you could explain that to him. Depending how close you live to the hospital would mean a difference of given birth there or in the car lol.

 

[Kess]

There's a book called The Father's Homebirth Handbook which was useful for my DH. He was a complete convert, and is very in favour of another HB with an IMW.

 

[T8ty]

Thanks so much for your advice ladies!

I know he will 'let' me have a home birth but I want him to fully support the idea if you know what i mean!

I need to do a lot of research and speak to the midwife and ensure its definitely what I want.

My first labour was fast and amazing so I'm hopeful this one will follow suit'!

 

[aliss]

Business of Being Born converted mine!

 

[MindUtopia]

I had my husband watch the Business of Being Born, like others have said. We were only dating at that point (3.5 years before we had a baby), but he pretty much knew from very early in our relationship that that's what would be happening!

Also, though mine was always supportive of it, I think he still felt nervous about it because he didn't quite know what his role would be or how to set up the pool or how to support me since we would be alone for most of it. We went to a local home birth group together and he got to talk to some of the mums there and some midwives, plus taking our NCT class and just learning about how birth worked (pretty much everything the NCT teacher said was beneficial for a safe, easy birth was better done at home than in hospital). But I think the home birth group helped the most. If you can get to know the other home birth mums in your area that way, you might also be able to put him in touch with other dads who might have some advice. I know my husband is now a big supporter of home birth and will tell anyone about it!

 

[BunnyN]

I think HB is often a better experience for dads than than a hospital birth, where they tend to end up as observers and not really doing much while staff and equipment take over. At a HB they are an important part of it. My OH is really squeamish and I thought he'd find it hard to cope, no way was he going to watch birth videos before. I was just hoping he could manage not to feint by looking the other way but I think being so involved helped a lot. He knew I needed him and the enthusiasm of the whole thing just swept him along. When she crowned he was actually squealing with excitement about being able to see her head and he cut the cord, which is amazing for him!

 

[foquita]

The information on this site convinced my OH:
www.homebirth.org.uk

^WSS

mine was ok about it at first then wavered a bit after a conversation with two of our friends who were really negative about it (grr ) but we had a long chat and he laid out his worries and concerns and i outlined all of the reasons why i wanted to and we looked at the home birth website, i also bought him the father's guide to home birth he has been totally up for it since

good luck convincing him, i'm sure you'll have no problem

 

[goddess25]

With my second i wanted a home birth but DH wasn't supportive at all. He did the reading etc that I asked him to do but by the end of my pregnancy he still wasn't on board. I am not a believer in doing it how you want if your partner is uncomfortable with it, so we went to the hospital. My daughters labour and birth was 3 hours and totally uncomplicated. I left the hospital an hour after she was born and was there for a total of 2 hours, hardly worth it.

With this baby DH still wasn't fully on board but he wasn't as against it as he was 2nd time around. He never said no but never said yes, however this time I did tell the mw that we were planning HB..and i told DH if he was totally against it to let me know. He never did that so we had a HB and it was awesome. Labour and birth just over 2 hours.

 

[bassdesire]

There's a book called The Father's Homebirth Handbook which was useful for my DH. He was a complete convert, and is very in favour of another HB with an IMW.

Yep we had this book as well.

We had never left our daughter so leaving for three days to have new baby was not an option. He was easy to convert. Just book a meet with a hb midwife. Get a couple numbers of recent dads and have him chat with them. They clean everything up. It's so so so so easy. Like, for us, way easier than hospital!!

 

[proudparent88]

There's a book called The Father's Homebirth Handbook which was useful for my DH. He was a complete convert, and is very in favour of another HB with an IMW.

Where can I find this and is it expensive? I also want to try and convince my SO to go along with me about a natural birth at home but it's not an easy thing to do.

 

[foquita]

i got the father's homebirth handbook second hand on eBay for less than £5 including postage I think!

 

[ttc bubby no2]

I made mine watch the Business of Being Born too and also once the midwife came for the first visit when I was 'still deciding' myself she made him feel like it was something safe and positive.

After the birth he commented on how much more relaxing it was for him being in his own house and not having to ask anyone if he could do something or get in trouble for not wearing shoes (yes he got told off at the hospital). He also felt more useful as he was responsible for pumping up the pool and filling it, also getting coffee for the midwife helping me through the labour, entertaining DS1, etc. I think homebirth isn't just a good experience for the women it is good for everyone involved.

He would have let me have one even if he didn't like the idea but I think it is good to have them on the same page with this kind of thing. It was the same with my mum as she wasn't happy with the idea until past 35 weeks when she finally watched the business of being born and suddenly she was actually supportive! It was much less stressful having her on my side after that.