How & when to tell parents?

[pearlsandbows]

I'm 26 & DH is 29, we've been together 9 years & married 1.5, both in stable permanent full time jobs but I am freaking out about telling my parents! I think my main concern is that they'll think I'm stupid for doing it early on in my job (have only been permanent a couple of months), & also that they think we don't earn enough to cope between us - we probably earn about £35k total a year - where my dad earned enough for my mum to take 8 years off work when they had me! They are quite typically middle class in all honesty & my mum in particular disapproves having children young (I'm the eldest & she was 30 when she had me). Would really appreciate any advice on how or when to tell them!
xo.

 

[mysteriouseye]

thank god its your womb then just ignore her my mum was like this, I got pregnant within 4 months of working for a new company (had just turned permanent after 3rd month) I had been with my husband 9 years I was 23 years old in my own place but my mum still wasn't happy for me, She got used to it in the end and got over it and now loves her granddaughter she was much better this time around xx

 

[leahtaba]

Haha oh god imagine I was her daughter, I had DD in the middle of the second year of my degree when I was 23. Plus OH was only earning 18,000. You sound in the perfect position to nake a lovely life for LO. Just grit your teeth at anything negative she has to say, she'll come round once she sees that little bundle! Plus who knows,her reaction may surprise you!

 

[pearlsandbows]

Aww thanks! I know she will come round it will just be uncomfortable to tell her as I don't know what the reaction will be. I have a feeling it will be fake happiness with an undertone of disappointment! As you say will grit my teeth & see how it goes, will be telling her on the phone as we don't live that near which does make it a bit easier.
xo.

 

[Kyliem87]

I honestly don't think money is the bee all and end all. OH and I earn around £44,000 combined and when we had our first we both still lived at home with our respective parents etc. Now we're in the middle of getting our first mortgage together and expecting #2! With my 1st I just went down and showed her the test! She then told my dad. This time I phoned her straight away and told my dad when I was over there just before Xmas. I think they would have ideally liked us to be in our home etc before expecting #2 but really it makes no odds.

OH earns around £28,000 but we couldn't afford for me to not work right now even if it was just part time but that doesn't mean we shouldn't have/expand our family. I think no matter who it is someone will have an opinion - you become great at smiling, nodding your head and saying "I know" lol.

Good luck!

 

[MummyJade]

I was most worried about my Dad, even though I was 19 when i had my daughter! Im now 24 and I was still scared... He was fine though, asked if all was ok, was OH ok with it all and if he could tell people... Your mum must understand your a happily married woman, babies was obviously next on your list... she may surprise you, if not just smile sweetly and enjoy your pregnancy she will come around...

I felt the disappointment from my Dad, but im not sure if thats cos my mum was in tears of happiness so did i expect my Dad to be the same?! if you know what I mean.. (parents are divorced) x

 

[Petzy]

I understand the fear of the reaction. Just remember - this is your life and your happiness and you certainly seem to have everything going for you! Don't let anyone rain on your parade!

Personally I am waiting as long as possible as I have had a loss recently but that's totally a personal choice! Good luck. Xo

 

[pearlsandbows]

We have owned our house for 3 years as well I forgot to say! So as far as I am concerned we are in a good position I guess the fear is from when I was younger just fear of disappointing parents as they've always pushed me to achieve the most I can to get a good career. It is a bit harder too as OHs parents want nothing more than for us to have children, they're not interested in money they just want grandkids & I know for a fact both will be over the moon bawling their eyes out when we tell them! So it's hard for me with OH knowing that mine are the difficult ones!
xo.

 

[bettybee1]

By the looks of it this is your 1st child your 26 not too young. Think 25/26/27 is the a vega age a lot of women have. A child !!!

I was 18 when I had my dd now 21 and needed ivf for my pregnancy Iam a nurse on 21.388 a year and hubby earns over 20+ a year in army we have our own house !!!

There is no right time too have a child it's when your mentally physically ready and selfless too have one your parents will just have too respect that !!


And I don't know many people that have that many years off too have children !! Most my mom had was 4 months with each and she earns over 70+ a year !!!

Loads of woman want too stay in there jobs now as it's good for your career and your self esteem aswell as been better for the child too be in nursery learning too socialise and play xxxx

 

[KirinM]

I'm 35 and quite worried about telling my Dad. I've got a good job (solicitor), earn decent money and have a nice house. My BF earns decent money too but we've only been together a year.

I had my first son when I was 18, jobless and as it turned out shortly after the birth, a single mum. He did not take the news well back then but he loves my son to the moon and back.

Personally I don't think I've ever been in a more stable position than I am now. I'll be nervous about telling him but I know he'll be happy even if his initial reaction isn't delight. He might surprise me.

Very very worried about what the BF family will say but they're his problem not mine!