How will you be coping with xmas??

[becki17]

Sorry, really don't want to be a downer, but having suffered a mmc on 22nd Oct, xmas just won't be the same for me this year. I see all the adverts on the telly, all our decorations are up and the christmas songs are all on the radio but I still feel nothing and I usually LOVE christmas!. I really can't be bothered with it all this year, everyone keeps asking what I want for christmas but my only answer to that would be a baby!. My sister in law is due in february so having to see her over the christmas period is going to be hard. Suppose it doesn't help that around about now we would be finding out if it was a boy or a girl. Sorry for the rant but really needed to get it off my chest!. Any advice on coping with the festive period this year would be really appreciated.

 

[kizzyt]

becki17, I know how you feel, I dont have much interest in Christmas this year, its not the Xmas I had planned when I found out I was pregnant. We're doing the usual seeing family and friends etc and I normally have a party over the Xmas period at some point but I just cant be bothered! I've been to a few Christmas do's now and had fun but I resent the fact that I can have a drink (if that makes sense!), I wanted to have to abstain because I had a bubba in me. Bar humbug! I am in a grumpy mood today though, could be more excited tomorrow, who knows!

 

[Amberyll23]

I personally have dived into my traditional holiday routines. I have two fabulous little nephews (4 yrs and 1 yr) and the most beautiful little niece (2 yr) that I have been focusing all my present buying on. They are, of course, not my children, but I love them so much, and I spoil the heck out of them!

I think about the little one I lost every day, I can't help it. I was so looking forward to the holidays and being pregnant this year. I should have quite a belly by now, but I don't, and it hurts inside. On top of things, and this may sound wierd for some, but we lost our beagle a year and a half ago to cancer (at age 13), and this will be our second xmas without him in our lives--and xmas was his favorite time of year (he would sniff through the packages under the tree and some folks would get their gifts with corners "sampled" by my little guy! haha). He filled the void in our lives of not having a child, and when we lost him, I could not bear to replace him with another puppy/dog. Plus, we were actively trying for children and we want our kids to grow up with the right dog.

So, for the second year, it's me, DH and the cat. I am determined that it will be the last year without a little one in our lives! So I am going to keep to my routine and do my best to smile and stay positive, enjoy being an aunt, and look forward to a New Year and all it promises to bring.

Not sure I answered your question, but it felt good to get this out.

 

[VGibs]

The baby I lost just before the one I am pregnant with now was due on Christmas day. I keep thinking about that baby and how happy we would be if we were that much closer to the actual birth. I think Christmas will be bitter sweet for me this year. Being that I will be about 5 weeks away from delivery and I will still be missing my lost baby. After we had the MC I wrote to Angels of Hope and received four little angels in the mail. I have paid it forward with all but one of those little angels, two that I gave away were to moms who had MC's around the same time as mine. They are both now pregnant. And one is due the same day as me. One angel was made of very fine lace and it had a very pretty golden ring for the head. We put it on the Christmas tree as a symbol of our baby who is with us in heaven. So that is how we are remembering our little one this year.

 

[NewToAllThis]

I should have been 30 weeks on Christmas day - I am so not looking forward to Christmas this year but will get through it with the help of my family.. and a little alcohol!
I said I would be able to cope if I was pregnant again by this time, but I am not, and that hurts too.
My heart goes out to you but please take comfort in the fact that we are all here for you and know exactly what you are going through

 

[katy1984]

The baby I lost just before the one I am pregnant with now was due on Christmas day. I keep thinking about that baby and how happy we would be if we were that much closer to the actual birth. I think Christmas will be bitter sweet for me this year. Being that I will be about 5 weeks away from delivery and I will still be missing my lost baby. After we had the MC I wrote to Angels of Hope and received four little angels in the mail. I have paid it forward with all but one of those little angels, two that I gave away were to moms who had MC's around the same time as mine. They are both now pregnant. And one is due the same day as me. One angel was made of very fine lace and it had a very pretty golden ring for the head. We put it on the Christmas tree as a symbol of our baby who is with us in heaven. So that is how we are remembering our little one this year.

i think thats a fantastic idea, we've got a little angel on our tree for the baby we lost in oct this year,it's helped alot,i wish you all the best with this pregnancy take care and merry christmas x

 

[honeybee28]

hey. i would love to be able to help you but im just gonna add more doom and gloom im afraid. im going through an incomplete miscarriage as we speak. i was planning on telling family on christmas day that we are expecting. now I'll be lucky if i make it out of bed!!!

really hope it gets a little easier for everyone. i know i wont feel better til im knocked up again.xxxx

 

[shelleney]

I shouldve been 36 weeks pregnant at Christmas. I expected to be huge and exhausted and eagerly awaiting the birth of my baby. But instead I'll be a size 10, miserable, and probably drunk for most of the week. Just dont think im gonna cope at all.

I also have a decoration on the tree for my baby. It hurts just to look at it though.
I know I havent given any advice, but i hope it helps to know that other people are feeling the same way. You are not alone.
xx

 

[LunaBean]

I'll most likely be drunk for most of it too. I should have had a 6 month old..or 4 month old..or 2 month old..or been pregnant at various stages and announcing it on Xmas day at 11 weeks with my most recent loss. But I'll just be sitting here while the street fills with kids playing with their new toys. I have name baubles on the tree for each of my angels, but it's not helping.

 

[shelleney]

Lunabean, im sorry to hear about all your losses. My heart goes out to you. Losing one baby is bad enough, so 6 must be....well there are no suitable words. I hope you enjoy Christmas as best you can
xx

 

[milosmum]

Oh lord I know what you mean I am dreading xmas this year which is awful since we are having the whole family over to cook for them. My due date for my first pregnancy should have been 22nd december so I would probably have been overdue and waiting impatiently. Pregnancy no 2 I should have been 12 weeks a few days before xmas and sharing the good news on the big day (I had even planned to send cards from 'the bump' as a way of telling our family the news!)
Anyway overall I just can't belive that this xmas we will still be babyless and bumpless. I am planning on trying to just get into the swing of things and hoping that my two year old niece will keep me busy and distracted and if all else fails my dog is always good for some serious cuddling action! Actually we should be BDing all xmas since thats when I am due to ovulate but that could be tricky with 8 adults, one toddler and 2 dogs crammed into our little house!
Hope you can all try to enjoy this xmas xxx

 

[HopeAlways]

I will be right there with all you girls. I would have been 13 weeks pregnant on Christmas and looking forward to celebrating with my family. Instead I will be wishing we were home, alone and with our pups. I don't even want to do the whole big Christmas Eve dinner with my extended family. I can't bare to see them look at me, comment or even try to give me advice. I would love to skip it all but my mom is upset at me for even thinking of that. Is it too much to ask for her to understand my situation and let me deal with it in my own way? Seeing my immediate family will be hard enough let alone spending hours with extended family I haven't seen in months. I LOVE Christmas and all I want this year is peace and time alone with my husband. I can have a Merry Christmas but in my own way. Things have changed.

I will be praying for everyone over the holiday and sending happy thoughts your way. It will be tough for all of us but I know we can get through it. We can look forward to the new year and trying again. It may take one day at a time or even one hour at a time (which is where I am at now). Just do it at your own pace and don't worry about everyone else.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday!

 

[IMPPEARL]

I was supose to be due on the 26th. To think I was worried that my bb may have to share their bday with christmas, and that there may be no one in the hosipital to deliver, or the weather would be bad and make it impossible to get to the hosipital... I'd kill to have those worries now. Neadless to say its deffinatly not going to be the same Christmas as I had initally planned. I am just now on CD 3 and was really hoping this was going to be the month. Its hard and DH really doesn't understand, though he tries and is really good with his crazy wife.. lol

 

[nicb26]

i was sposed to be 14 weeks at christmas, out of the danger zone, and sharing our news with family and friends. what makes it worse is that we started properly trying at xmas last year, and i actually thought it would happen quickly and that this christmas i would already have a little bundle. its hard to stay positive, i keep thinking, next year we will have one, but then thats what i thought this time last year, how wrong i was.

i am getting through it by just trying not to dwell too much, and counting my blessings for my lovely dh who i love so much and i am so lucky to have.

hope everyone has as happy a christmas as possible xx

 

[Dezzy]

I never thought I would be in this situation over the holidays. I just found out this week that I was going to m/c. It was devastating news to get, but we are coping the best we can. The pregnancy was a complete surprise because we absolutely gave up on the idea of being able to conceive especially after 3 yrs of not using any contraception and no baby. Although it ended with disappointment we now have a sense of renewed hope that it is even a possibility for us.

My heart goes out to all of you that are struggling. My thoughts and prayers are with you and hope that the new year brings you joy and many blessings.

 

[poppy666]

I dont know how im going to get through christmas this year, i go in for an erpc Wednesday, havnt even put a xmas tree up yet if it wasnt for my DS i think id totally cancel this year x

 

[cloud9]

i thought we'd have a baby for last christmas...and this christmas too. its probably unlikely that we will conceive in time to make one for next years either as my cycles are still playing up after the last mc. i dont know if i can take another christmas its really hard at this time of year and whats worse is my dh works away and will be away during the festive period again this time. but i try my best and i love buying presents for the kids in my family and spoiling them all. this christmas i would've been 6.5 months and would've known if it was going to be a girl or a boy at this point. and i was looking forward to having a big bump and having that pregnant glow - and more excuse to eat extra turkey!! lol. it was round about this time that we'd planned to buy all the big baby items like buggy etc. i just cant get that image out of my head.
ive had such a crap day today and generally being very emotional! so much so ive made myself sick, ive not been right all day

 

[woldkelk]

My baby Cody would have been 5 months about the time christmas comes and I am pretty good as long as I am out and about. As soon as I get a few mins to myself I can't help but think of how happy I was at this sametime last year....thinking about how great the "1 st: christmas was going to be this year. Now I can only ask for a baby for christmas nor to have Cody back. My boyfriend keeps asking what I want for Christmas and I don't have anything that I really want....I don't what stuff, I want memories and happy ones?? Sorry to kind of steal the thread but I totally understand the whole being bummed on the holidays thing

 

[wannabe mam]

I agree with some of the ladies above and will probably drink my way through xmas! Even though I though I would be breast feeding now and wouldnt be able to. Its so hard because when you find out your pregnant the rest of your life changes in your mind, when its taken away from you its hard to go back to normal. Life will never be the same for me until I have a baby in my arms. Until then we need to be happy with what we do have.
I hope you xmas is ok, I am sure it will be better than you think once you have all your family around you with nice food and drinks! xxx

 

[suffolksarah]

I have just found out i have had mmc today (died ay 6+5), going to hospital tomorrow to discuss my options
I am dreading xmas, i printed out a really lovely poem put it in a frame and was going to give it to my folks to tell them as a prezzie on xmas day. going to have to tell them tomorrow as will prob have to have d&c. They will be so upset for me, i dont want to break my mums heart!

Christmas is going to be so hard, suppose to be going to Paris for 4 days on boxing day. will have to see if i am up for it, will be gutted if i cant!! xxx