How would you get more support next time

[Hen]

We had several problems that resulted in me giving up BF much much earlier than I wanted too (I'm now looking to go back even if it's just expressing) but one of the things I found was that there just wasn't the support there when things started to go wrong. the midwives basically just said "well the latch looks ok" despite the fact that there was clearly something wrong as parts of my nipples came off (very sore, not recommended!!!). There is no other bf support in this area from NHS, LLL or NCT and I jusst didn't know where to go or how to cope with the pain anymore and ended up bottle feeding.

We're now looking at having a second baby and I desperately desperately want to bf this one, but how do I go about getting the support I need and preventing the same thing happening again? I really don't want to end up at the point I did with Lottie, where I didn't feel like there was any other option and it has contributed in a large part to me suffering from PND.

 

[MelanieAnn]

Oh, Hen, I so totally feel for you! I completely understand. There are so many mums in this situation - you are very brave to even be posting this. And to contemplate re-lactation and expressing - wow. Well done you.

In your situation, while feeling the grief for the nursing relationship - I'd also feel STINKING MAD. Furious. Angry. (I often feel furious on behalf of mums and babies). The lack of support for breastfeeding mothers and babies in our society and healthcare system is a disgrace.

That's partly why I'm a lactivist. But that's my issue, and you are asking about how you can get more support next time. Obviously I don't know where you are - but could you find an experienced BF mummy near you at all? Ask her if you could spend a day with her?

Can your HV direct you to a BF support group at all?

Are the helplines something you would feel comfortable accessing?

You're obviously on line - do you read/browse BF sites at all? Kellymom, Jack Newman, the Australian BF Association, NormalFed?

Are you someone who likes to read books? There are some great ones, such as the Womanly Art of BF - or maybe watch videos? Maybe your MW could lend you a video as they tend to cost £80+ to buy?

Maybe others have better suggestions?

Melanie

 

[Hen]

Thank you so much Melanie. I do feel angry, not just from teh lack of support while breastfeeding but from the lack of support since then regarding her feeding (they "think" she has a lactose intolerance and is now on prescription formula, although it makes no difference!)

I spoke to someone via the NCT lhelpline this morning about the relactation which is great and she's given me lots of suggestions of things to try to get my milk back. Got to battle with the doc to get a domperidone prescription now!! Sadly the only BF group within about an hour of where I live shut down due to the NHS pulling the funding in favour of "more targeted help" which of course is yet to appear.

Have bought a double pump on ebay and will be starting to pump as soon as that arrives this week. fingers crossed it all works out. Not sure the hubby is going to understand when things in the house don't get done, but tough! if he want's them doing he can do them himself, he's not totally incapable!!

 

[emmieloulous]

I had a similar problem with my 1st son and in the end he wasn't gaining enough weight that after 3 months i put him onto a bottle. I found it so sore and so painful and really upsetting because i just wanted to be able to feed him. Lanosil became my friend but when i became pregnant with my 2nd son i didn't know what i was going to do.

I decided to go with the flow and if i could feed great and if i couldn't i wouldn't beat myself up. I found the health visitors useless and because it was my 2nd baby no one in the hospital was interested in helping. So i turned to the NCT, who were absolutely AMAZING. My issue was that whilst i could feed quite effectively on one side, hardly any milk was coming out of the other side. In the end they suggested that i feed rugby ball style, whereby the baby lays on its back under your arm, as if you were holding them like a rugby ball. This completely cured the problem with not getting much milk out on one side. I also found that whilst the baby could latch on ok, they weren't latching on in the right way for me and therefore the way the suction was would leave me sore and bleeding. The NCT coached me over the phone and then gave me some details of other Mum's in my area who they had trained to help. A lovely lady came to my house (with biscuits!!) and spent about an hour helping me. It was the most amazing experience and i never needed lanosil again!

I am now pregnant with number 3 and will definately get their help again just to make sure i am doing it right. Good luck with your future plans xxx

 

[MelanieAnn]

Relactation! That's great - and again, so very, very brave! Good for you!

https://www.mobimotherhood.org/MM/default.aspx

 

[discoclare]

i was going to also suggest a bfing support group. there are loads of these which are independent of NHS. in my area there is a great one run by local mums who each volunteer one day a week and will come to the house for free to help. i knew nothing of them before i had my LO, prior to that i had done an nct antenatal course as prep to help me with bfing. My HV knew of them and they came round to the hospital to visit new mums. i am not sure how i would have found about their existance pre-birth though. can you ask the midwife if they know of any local volunteer groups?
good luck with everything.