How?

[Lissa3120]

How do you women "hand" your LO over to FOB? Do you not find it SO unfair? YOU did it all... I know I'm thinking irrationally but, why should I have to work for it all and FOB get it handed to him on a silver plated, platinum decorated plate? Advice PLEASE!

 

[Aidedhoney]

FOB has never had Alex on his own, he walked out when Alex was 6 months, even before he left he knew very little about Alex's likes or dislikes.
On average he sees Alex every 2 weeks and we take Alex for lunch and to the park.

It turns my tummy when he kisses Alex sometimes feel he has no right to do that. he shows very little intrest in Alex (took him 24 hours to text and find out how Alex was after i had rushed him into A n E) so i am not in a hurry to hand Alex over lol

 

[Welshcob]

B**tards! honestly these men!!!

 

[xJG30]

FOB has never had my son on his own and never will.

He chose to walk away when I was pregnant and he chooses not to come up and see him. He comes once in a blue moon (9 months +)

 

[suzanne108]

Its horrible

My LO screams and screams and screams whenever he goes near her!!

 

[Aidedhoney]

Wow i thought it was perhaps just me that didnt fell comfortable just handing my son over!!

 

[sciencemum]

I'm totally dreading handing my little one over to FOB. I fear it will push me over the edge.

 

[AppleBlossom]

I hate it too. FOB left me when Grace was 7 months old after he had been seeing other men behind my back and left to go and live with a man he met at a club. I brought her up on my own, he sees her once a week yet is threatening me with courts etc because he wants to see her more. He is fine about taking her out and about but when it comes to bathing her, changing her etc he doesn't want to know. Yet he slags me off and praises himself. The worst part is seeing their smug little faces turn up at your door knowing they have been able to have their cake and eat it

 

[Lissa3120]

Someone remind me, why is it that we need men to raise a child?
Who said children NEED fathers the same way they NEED mothers?
maybe I'm just biased.

 

[sciencemum]

I haven't even had my baby yet and I feel sick at the thought of handing her over to his every beck and call. I dread to imagine what you mummies are going through.

Sending hugs

 

[SophiasMummy]

i cant stand the thought of letting my ex have LO by himself after she is born. but luckily he cant have her by himself cuz im going to be breastfeeding so i will aways have to be with her until she is at least 6 months old. though i still dont want him havin her then but dont realy have much choice cuz i dont want to deprive her of having a dad even if he is a waste of space

 

[andbabymakes3]

It's hard - Holly goes to her daddy's every tuesday morning and comes back wednesday morning, and he has her one weekend day and night per week.

There are times when I feel like not answering the door when he comes to get her (like today, we were having a lovely morning with lots of giggles and cuddles) - but I know I am doing the right thing. She loves her daddy to pieces and he loves her too.

I never want her to feel like I kept them apart because of my feelings towards him. As long as he is being a good dad to her, I will have to just get on with it.

 

[expecting09]

FOB has never met Kacie, but just the thought of handing her over like that sends shivers down my spine, I really feel for you mummys that do it

 

[teal]

FOB has never met Kacie, but just the thought of handing her over like that sends shivers down my spine, I really feel for you mummys that do it

I'm the same. He's never met my LO. Even the thought of handing my LO over makes me feel sick. I don't know how you manage it xx

 

[sciencemum]

I'm dreading having my baby as I know i am going to have to tell FOB and he will be straight round and it will just be so awkward and the last thing I want when I have just given birth.

 

[Lissa3120]

I'm dreading having my baby as I know i am going to have to tell FOB and he will be straight round and it will just be so awkward and the last thing I want when I have just given birth.

Why don't you tell him you had the baby, and all the stats and then say "i'll get back in contact in a few weeks once we're settled into our new lives." No one can say anything bad about that. you just had a baby, the last thing you need is some Rock (C) to come stress you out further. the baby isn't going to know who he is, so it'll be a wasted journey for him. when they're fresh out they are BORING (I mean that in the nicest way lol, but to a man i think they expect them to come out playing football and all that... if you get me?) FOB can wait a couple more weeks if that's what makes it easier for you to provide for your baby the best you can.
That's what i did, and tbh he has had so little interest in any of it, i dont think he would have cared if i didnt tell him at all, but as we do, as a mother i felt it in my daughters best interest to tell him... mistake number 1... and counting ofcorse this is just my experience, your FOB is completely different and so is your situation. but all i have to say, is dont do anything for his benefit, because the only person it benefits is him, if your not happy neither is baby. Do what works for you.

 

[LOZANDEVIE]

to you ladies that can hand baby over, FOB wants nothing to do with me or baby, yet he threatens with court? How that works out I don't know. He took an overdose when i was pregnant because he said he couldnt cope with being a dad. How selfish,Hes never asked to see her neither! I said to him if the overdose had of killed him.. She wouldn't have a father, So as far as i see it... He's a sperm donor, I will tell my daughter about her father,and that i let him have the chance to see her but he didnt. Allthough he rang me up straight after id given birth with blood pouring from me screaming that i was a vindictive scumbag, nice. Just what a woman wants when shes gave birth to a big bubba. The only thing that kept me smiling that night was my daughter in my arms looking into my eyes. When she fell to sleep, I cried. I cried because i knew i wasn't a bad person,but he was..and i was so sorry to my daughter for having a father like him.When she is older,she can make her own decision based on weather he wants to see her/she wants to see him,but whilst she's in my care... She's going absolutely nowhere, not out of my sight. Love to all you single mummies, You're all brilliant ladies doing a great job!!!

 

[Lissa3120]

^^^ I'm totally with you on that one! FOB did a similar thing when i was pregnant for the exact same reason, and i just don't know how far he would go if LO was with him, at whatever age she was, so i can't ever trust him with her. Now he won't be seeing her at all as he has no respect for me what so ever, and i don't think a child should grow up in that environment where the parents don't respect each other, what does that teach them about how to treat their partners and the parents of their children? Maybe it's just me, but i think that could really do damage to a person.

 

[sciencemum]

I agree with you there.

It's important for a child to have both parents, but I think sometimes, it's just not the best thing and it makes things harder. Esp when a baby is involved. No harm comes to a person from not having both parents.

Men can choose to have nothing to do with thier kids, if it was really that important then surely the courts would force them, but no they can walk away, so why cant the mother.

i think im just ranting an raving.
Ignore me! lol

 

[LOZANDEVIE]

Agree 100 percent Lisa! her father has never showed me respect, He told people I were fat when he saw me out and about at 3days post partum, Of course im going to have extra weight i pushed a baby out 72hours ago!, he told my friend I would never get back to normal size, but here i am...back to size 12 and 14 and slimer than i was before. I think some males are just plain T*ats for their own amusement. Their losing out on our beautiful babies, so i have no loss there x